


Cleaning no Jutsu

by Erisah_Mae



Series: Hikari and Gai [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Amputee, Civilian Doesn't Mean Weak, Eventual Romance, F/M, For Kami's Sake Clean Out Your Fridge, House Cleaning, Maito Gai in Love, Ninja don't have the monopoly on sneakiness, Original Character with Terminal Illness, PTSD, Possibly Sentient Mould, Slice of Life, Swearing, Youth!, general sappiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:58:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 44,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erisah_Mae/pseuds/Erisah_Mae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She seemed determined enough. Maybe she'd be able to finally answer the question that had been bugging him for a while now, since he had realised he'd forgotten the answer years ago. What colour was his carpet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Dirty, Filthy Ninja

She was never quite sure how it had got started.

Well if she was honest with herself, then she would have to say it was almost entirely her Aunt Noriko's fault. A suggestion that would have probably given the woman a stroke, but nonetheless, it had been the fact that she always bitched and complained about the ninjas that came to her hostel that had sparked the original thought.

"Those damned ninjas! Trekking in mud and blood and Kami knows what else! Filthy, violent barbarians the lot of them. And those Kunoichis! I have no doubt they can kill a man, but could they cook for one? Clean for one? Yet they swan around in clothes a whore would be ashamed to be seen in, taking the attention of good men..."

That was usually the point that Hikari tuned her aunt out. Aunt Noriko had been diappointed in love when she was Hikari's age, when the man she had had "an understanding" with had decided to marry a Kunoichi instead. But of all of her Aunt's vitriol, it was the comments about ninjas being dirty that stuck with Hikari.

Now, let it be said, Hikari had a completely different opinion about ninja to her Aunt. For a start, her little brother Masaru was a ninja, and she was damned proud of him for managing it. If it had been up to her, she would have probably graduated the Academy herself.

But the Kyuubi had killed that dream before she really had it. She'd been eight years old when the Demon Fox had attacked Konoha, and she had been lost by her elder sister in the fracas. When they had found her, a day later, she had been pinned under rubble. Her leg had been practically pulverised, and so the med-nin had been forced to amputate just above her knee, but she had never forgotten the feeling of relief she had felt when a Hyuuga had spotted her and directed a squadron of genin to dig her out.

One of those genin had ended up her brother-in-law, as her sister, tearful and grateful, had struck up a friendship that had lasted years before the friendship based on gratitude had changed to romance. Even if he hadn't been her rescuer, Hikari knew she would have liked Akimichi Souta. As it was, Souta had eventually fallen in love with her sister's way with dumplings, as much as her sweet nature.

Hikari however knew that a sweet-nature was a trait that she didn't share with her sister. A combination of unrelenting phantom pains and a dislike of anyone who pitied her had taught her the joys of sarcasm at an early age, not to mention a healthy disrespect for anyone who tried to make things easier for her. It hadn't taken her long to learn her limits, and the first few who had tried to pander to them had underestimated her, and thus thwarted her intentions to try and live, rather than just survive.

Her mother had been the first to cotton on.

"Leave Hikari be," she'd told Hikari's grandmother, who had been miffed at the then five-year-old telling her that she could go to school because there was nothing wrong with her brain. "If she wants help, she'll ask for it. She knows her limits, and the school isn't so far that she can't hobble over there."

Her grandmother had retorted that it wasn't the distance that worried her, it was the response of the other students to her maimed granddaughter.

She need not have worried. The first kid to refer to Hikari as "Hop-Along" to her face got the butt of her crutch to his. If it hadn't been for her obvious disability, that fight, and the seven that followed it would have been enough to get her sent from the civilian school to the Academy. Her teacher, Takeshi-sensei said this to her face with a sniff, telling her that if she couldn't behave, then Hikari was going to have to learn from home, seeing as the Academy had decided that there was no point in training a cripple.

That was the last time a fight happened at school, but it quickly became well-known that if you tormented Hikari, she would get even, one way or another. The nick-name "Hop-Along" stuck, but never to Hikari's face. After Takeshi-sensei ended up having her bed infested with maggots, no one dared call her a "cripple" either. Hikari had never admitted how she had managed to do that one, but people found it more than a little suspicious that her distinctive crutch-print was found in the dirt not far from Takeshi's back door.

Later, when her sister was working in one of the Akimichi restaurants along with her sisters- and brothers-in-law, it became known that spreading the name to them was a good way to get yourself banned from a particularly tasty source of dango.

It was when she had been sitting, eating some of said dango, her crutch propped up against the side of the table when she had heard the conversation that made her act on the half-formed idea that she had been considering since the last time her Aunt Noriko had ranted about ninjas and their cleanliness.

"I mean, it's not that I particularly mind long-term missions. I get to see foreign places, sleep with foreign women... but coming home to a dusty apartment is always such a complete fucking pain. It's alright for you two, even if you weren't part of clans, you've got wives. It's loners like me that get back from a mission and have nothing to greet us but dust and mould and the remains of whatever got forgotten in the fridge last time..."

Hikari turned to see Shiranui Genma sitting with Yamashiro Aoba, Nara Shikaku and Akimichi Chouza (and how she hadn't noticed him come in she would never know- what with his immense size and bright red hair it was hard to miss that profile), enjoying a few plates of dumplings. Shiranui had been the one speaking, the senbon needle that was habitually in his mouth flicking around on particular words.

Yamashiro scowled, the light streaming through the window shining off his sunglasses. "You think you have it bad. I came back after a week-long mission and realised some punk kid had broken one of my windows. It rained for three days. Three mint condition Icha Icha completely ruined!"

Later, she would swear that her speaking up had been almost involuntary. The truth was, she blurted out something she had been thinking about for a while.

"I could help you with that," she said.

The three ninja spun to stare at her.

Shiranui looked her up and down, surprised. "Help Aoba with what, precisely?" he asked finally. "You got a source for Icha Icha?"

Hikari blushed and scowled as the men started laughing at her.

"No," she said with exaggerated patience. "I could look after your houses for you. When you're away on long missions. Or hell, even when you're posted around here and can't be bothered to pick up after yourselves. I'm going into business," she blurted out brazenly.

Yamashiro Aoba snorted. "If you think we're just going to let some random civilian inside our houses, then you have another think coming, lady."

"You're Sorayama Hikari, aren't you." Heads turned to see it was Akimichi Chouza, the head of the Akimichi clan speaking. "Your sister makes good dumplings."

Hikari smiled at him. "She'll be flattered to hear you say so, Akimichi-sama," she said with a slight bow.

Nara Shikaku turned to his friend as though to say something, paused, and then examined Hikari with lazy eyes. "Ah. So you're Akimichi Natsuko's little sister who got caught under the rubble when Kyuubi attacked, yes?"

"Hai," she said simply, reaching over to grab her crutch and standing up. She had little doubt the four of them had spotted the crutch immediately. They were ninja after all.

She stood tall, leaning as little on her crutch as possible, and looked the four of them in the eyes.

"My name is Sorayama Hikari, I am 16 years old, and a civilian. I attended the Academy for two years before the Kyuubi incident, an incident that killed my father and took my leg. My younger brother, Masaru is currently a genin on the team led by Minami Rei. My elder sister, as you might have gathered, works here, and is married to Akimichi Souta. My mother is ill. The doctor says she might recover if we pay up for some expensive medicine."

Akimichi Chouza started a little at that. "That's what that money Souta wants to borrow is for?"

Hikari shrugged. "I am unaware of any plans that he and my sister might have. All I know is that I want to do my part. I'm a cripple," she said bluntly. "And I have no desire to live on charity. So I have to work. I've spotted what I think could be a niche market that I can fit into. Ninja go off on long-haul missions all the time. It's alright if you live in a clan, but if you live alone, then you have to trust your neighbours to water your plants, assuming that you do indeed actually trust your neighbours." She paused, and let them mull that over for a minute.

Suddenly, Shiranui started laughing. "Kami, you've got some balls on you girl."

Hikari resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She didn't see what gender had to do with anything.

"I'd be willing to set up a contract. For a set rate, I'd keep plants and pets alive and the house liveable in. Anything I might find in said house would be kept strictly confidential, under pain of the laws of divulging equivalently ranked secrets. Personal information that does not pertain to missions that I might stumble across I would put under A-rank on the contract."

Shiranui stopped laughing. "You're serious."

Nara raised an eyebrow. "A-ranked? You do know what the punishment for violating an A-ranked secret is, right?"

"Interrogation and then imprisonment," Hikari said promptly, doing her best to keep a level tone. "But I have no intention of breaking confidentiality, so I have nothing to worry about. I'm not a gossip, and I have a healthy respect for what you ninjas do around here. Something a lot of civilians seem to forget is that we wouldn't be living half so comfortable if it wasn't for shinobi putting themselves on the line. If it hadn't been for the Yondaime Hokage, this village wouldn't even exist. If it hadn't been for the Hyuuga that found me, I might have died under that rubble, before the genin dug me out. But apart from that," and here Hikari allowed them to see her sheepish grin, "I really need the cash. It'd be dumb to jeopardise my source of income by bandying about who exactly has limited edition Icha Icha novels."

At that last, Shiranui and Yamashiro started laughing, Akimichi looked amused, and Nara looked thoughtful.

"Alright," Nara said.

Everyone else stared at him.

"Uh..." Hikari fumbled. "Alright what?"

Nara shrugged lazily, but Hikari suddenly felt like a bug under a microscope. "I think your idea has a bit of merit. So, I suggest a trial run. If you can disinfect Genma's apartment for him in twenty-four hours, I'll recommend your services to people I know often get sent on the long-term missions."

"Hey!" Genma protested, nearly spitting out his senbon needle in surprise. "Why my apartment?"

Nara smirked. "If she can disinfect that pile, then everyone else's place should be a breeze for her."

Hikari smiled and bowed. "Thank you so much! Just give me the address, and the time you want me to visit, and I'll come with supplies." She frowned for an instant, a thought occurring to her. "Are there any traps I should know about?"

Genma shrugged negligently. "A few on the entrances, but I'll disable them for you before you go in." He wasn't sure how he felt about Nara Shikaku inviting some stranger into his house, but her sister had apparently married into the Akimichis, and she seemed determined enough. Maybe she'd be able to finally answer the question that had been bugging him for a while now, since he had realised he'd forgotten the answer years ago.

What colour was his carpet?


	2. What Colour is Genma's Carpet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hikari Encounters Genma's Apartment

Chapter 2: Genma's apartment.

Hikari was nervous.

She would have bitten off the head of anyone who had suggested that she might be, but it was the Kami honest truth. She hadn't missed the tone of Nara Shikaku's voice when he had talked about the condition of Shiranui Genma's apartment, and so had packed heavily when it came to cleaning supplies. In her hand trolley that she was able to drag along in one hand as she wielded her crutch with the other, along with a sturdy mop, broom and duster, she also had as many cleaning cloths and garbage bags as she could justify being stuffed inside, as well as a few litres of heavy-duty bleach, sink de-caulker and air-freshener, as well as a few other odds and sods that she decided could come in handy. Just in case, she also had a small toolbox that included hammer, screwdriver set and a small handsaw. One ninja lesson that she remembered from her brief time at the Academy that had stuck with her for always was that there was no such thing as being over-prepared, and to expect that any plan would go completely to hell when in contact with the enemy.

Well, she was pretty sure that wasn't the official wording, and the "enemy" in this case was a slovenly jonin, but the point was that there was no way in hell she was going to fail because she hadn't packed enough supplies. She needed this. This was her first test that she needed to ace if she wanted to get her business off the ground, and she would get this apartment cleaned up in 24 hours or die trying.

When she reached the apartment, she was slightly surprised that all of the men who had been in the Akimichi restaurant, plus a few others had decided to play spectator, and were clustered outside. Some of the legends of the village had joined the group- Hatake Kakashi, Sarutobi Asuma, and even to her disbelief, Morino Ibiki. Now that was a nasty shock. Still, if she backed down now, then she would never forgive herself, so she gripped her crutch until her knuckles turned white and stepped forward.

She nodded a greeting to the group in general, and then proceeded to ignore every one of them bar Genma.

"Have you disabled all of the traps that I'm likely to stumble on?" she asked him.

"Sure thing," he said. Something in his voice made her a little suspicious, so she decided to test his assertion.

She unlatched the door, and then pushed it open with her crutch, careful to stay in the lee of the doorframe.

An instant later, senbon were impaling the ground where a normal person might have stood to open the door.

Hikari looked at them blankly, and then back up at Genma, who looked entirely unsurprised by this.

"Fuck you, Shiranui," Hikari hissed at him. "I assume that was a test. Since you have so many witnesses that can confirm I passed, how about you do your part and disengage the traps that I assume are still engaged in the doors and windows. Or would you prefer to instead tell me where they are and how to engage them?"

"And how do you plan on getting inside the homes of ninjas who are away when you cannot surpass their traps?" Morino Ibiki rumbled, as Genma spat his senbon needle at a crack in the lintel and then casually strolled inside.

Hikari turned slowly to face him. "If the traps are chakra-based, then I would obviously have to be keyed into them. If they are mechanical, then there will have to be compromises made. Either the ninja would have to tell me how to activate a disengage sequence, which does not necessarily mean that I would be aware of the nature of the trap, or they would have to tell me the places where I could not go. These conditions would be stipulated in the contract, with the specific details of the traps either passed on through word-of-mouth or on paper to be immediately destroyed after I had memorised the conditions. Another alternative would be nominating another off-duty nin to let me in. Said nin could then go about their business, and I would then leave them to re-engage the traps upon me leaving." Hikari took a deep breath, and tried to hide her shaking hands.

"Today is different, because Shiranui is right here, and we haven't signed an official contract. The official contract will have clauses to protect me from undisclosed traps or surprise uninformed house-guests. If I'm going to be electing myself to be held to A-ranked justice in case of confidentiality breach when it comes to personal effects, then I want some protection from absent-minded paranoia."

That last comment actually provoked a snort from Hatake Kakashi. "It's not paranoia if they're out to get you," he said lightly.

Hikari stood her ground. "I'm a one-legged civilian cleaning lady, whose younger brother is a genin, whose elder sister is married to an Akimichi, and whose family has been in the village for three generations. I could give less of a damn about politics unless they directly pertain to me, and I have been the target of enough gossip to have a healthy loathing of it. I'm loyal to the village, have zero ties to forces outside of it, and I have this crazy feeling that even on an off day most of you could beat me in a running race," she finished dryly. "I'm not really asking anyone to trust me any more than you might trust the village locksmith, or the chefs and waiters at any of the restaurants you eat at. I mean, I figure that's why there are so many Akimichi restaurants, right?" she asked, looking to Akimichi Chouza for confirmation. "Your clan's got a good enough reputation for loving food and being loyal to the village that I'd reckon only the most paranoid ninja wouldn't relax in your establishments."

Akimichi Chouza looked taken aback for a moment, and then began to laugh. "You're not far off," he admitted, privately thinking that he was going to have to get to know young Souta's wife a bit better. If she was even half as sharp as her sister then she was wasted as a mere dumpling maker. Not that he was going to stop her from making them- that woman was skilled!- but maybe he might drop a message to his cousin Chouba to teach her some management or something.

"If we trusted the village locksmith," Ibiki drawled, letting out a smidgeon of killing intent, "then we wouldn't need the traps."

Hikari didn't bother to hide her eye roll. "With all due respect, that's bullshit. You trust the locksmith to keep the civilians out. Otherwise, why would you bother with a commercial deadlock, or security mesh? The traps are for friendly ninja with no respect for locks, and enemies, two sets of beings that need a bit of a firmer 'fuck off' than a doorknob that won't turn."

For a moment, there was dead silence.

Then Genma, who had apparently finished disabling his traps spoke up from where he was leaning against the doorframe. "What did I tell you guys? Balls of fucking steel!"

A few snickers came out, and the tension quickly defused.

Hikari limped over to the door, looked in, saw the mess, and then counted to ten.

Then, for good measure, she counted to twenty.

"Shiranui-san," she said with exaggerated politeness, "when was the last time you saw your floor?"

"Ahhh..." Genma smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head.

"Try about a week after he moved in six years ago," snorted Aoba.

Kakashi looked in with interest. "So this is why poker night is never at your place. And why you insist that it's good policy to go home to her house. If you took any of your one-night-stands here, they'd run away screaming."

Genma just shrugged.

Hikari counted to ten again, and then turned to look Genma in the eye. "I'm half tempted to just set fire to the lot of it, but that would mean that the ground beneath that toxic sludgepile would never again be fertile. And I don't back down from challenges." She breathed in, and then regretted it. "Kami, Shiranui. Do Inuzukas take a detour to avoid this place?" she asked, as she pulled her scarf from her head and then re-tied it over her nose and mouth.

"How much of this stuff do you want to..." she cut herself off. "Stupid question. You probably have no idea what's buried below about the first ten centimetres. This is going to be like an archaeological dig." She turned to Akimichi Chouza and bowed. "Akimichi-sama, if I am never seen again, tell my sister that I love her, my brother to practice harder at his chakra control, and my mother that she's allowed to say 'I told you so'. All of my worldly possessions are to be split between my family and the orphanage. Aunt Noriko can get the ugly vase."

"Witnessed," drawled Nara Shikaku, who looked as sleepy as ever until you saw the glint of amusement in his eyes.

Restraining herself from a retort, (after all, this was all Nara's fault,) because it wouldn't do to piss off a clan-head when she was trying to start a business, Hikari squared her shoulders, and got to work.

Taking out a garbage bag, the first thing she did was pick out as much of the empty (and some not-so empty and growing strange life-forms) take-out cartons as she could out of the rubble.

She had half-filled her sixth garbage bag before she was satisfied that that part at least was sufficiently done so that she could start sorting out the less-obvious garbage from the detritus of scrolls, items of soiled clothing, and random weapons. Most of the latter were senbon, and after she found the fifth of these in about three minutes, she started sticking them in an empty shoebox that she dug from the pile near the mostly-empty book-shelf.

Four hours later, and the book-shelf was full, she'd filled the shoebox and a beer-carton with senbon needles and assorted kunai and shuriken, there was a pile of torn, filthy, blood-, food-, and she-didn't-want-to-even-know-what-else -stained clothing that was as tall as her head. The clean(er) clothing was folded and stowed in a corner until she managed to get deeper inside.

To her surprise, the flooring was actually some rather nice wooden floorboards that only needed a bit of a scrub before she knew they'd be shining. Well, first she needed to sort out the clothes, or maybe... she grinned.

"Oi! Genma!" she poked her head out the door to see that Genma and Aoba were playing cards outside. The other shinobi had apparently since gotten bored of the spectacle of hearing her swear occasionally when she found something particularly new and horrifying. Some of those bacteria cultures were so developed she'd be unsurprised if they'd developed languages and religion. She wondered idly if that made her that thing that her grandmother had once told her that really old story about. Raguna-something. Whatever.

"Yes?" he asked her, waggling his senbon at her cheekily.

"There is quite a pile of blood- and I use that term euphemistically-stained clothing in here. Do you want to try and save some of it, or would you rather I just chuck it all in the skip?"

Genma considered, and then shrugged. "I've replaced most of that stuff anyway, so I guess just chuck it."

Hikari bit her lip, shifting on her crutch for a moment.

"What?" Genma demanded.

"Well..." Hikari paused, and then smiled. "My mother belongs to a patchwork sewing circle. Once the stains are cut out, there'd be quite a bit of usable cloth there still..."

Genma and Aoba just stared at her.

"You know what? Whatever. I won't miss it anyway," Genma said, waving one of his hands negligently as he turned back to his cards.

Hikari shrugged. "Alright." And then proceeded to sort all of the stained clothing into two sets of bags. The stuff that was completely irredeemable, that smelled poisonous, or was in shreds she was going to just throw out, but the bits that would be fine except for the occasional stab-stain/rent, those she was going to ask her mother about. The Sorayama family had never been rich, and waste-not want-not was practically tattooed to her psyche. She didn't know what she would use the material for, but she'd do something with it.

An hour later, and the sun began to go down. Aoba stuck his head around the door to let her know that the two of them were heading to a bar, and whistled. Where there had been layers of detritus, now there were neat lines of garbage bags and a few boxes of weapons.

"Fuck me, she might actually manage to do it," he muttered to Genma as they left.

"Yeah?" Genma asked, surprised. "The best I was hoping for was to learn what colour my carpet was."

Aoba snorted. "Dude, you don't have carpet. You have floorboards."

Genma stopped dead.

"Seriously?" he asked.

Aoba just shook his head. "You're pathetic."

Genma ignored him and smiled. "Floorboards! It's been bugging me for months!"


	3. The Fridge, and Other Unpleasant Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Hikari Continues Her Quest to Clean Genma's Apartment, and accidentally alerts the ANBU.

Chapter 3: The Fridge, and other unpleasant surprises

Back at the apartment, and Hikari had made it to the kitchen. To her relief, apart from a forest of dirty chopsticks and a couple of coffee mugs, there was little washing-up to do. Apparently Genma never used anything but the fridge and the microwave, as other than a thick coating of dust, the stove and oven were practically pristine. The layers were less deep in here, and it only took her half an hour to fill some more garbage bags until all of the visible surfaces were clear.

Then she opened the fridge.

And promptly shut it again.

Then slowly opened it again, hoping that she had been hallucinating.

She hadn't been.

The first thing to hit her was the stench. The rest of the apartment so far had been bad, but for the most part the fragments of food that had mutated had been just that- fragments. Some of it had been so old it had been mummified, so it hadn't even smelled that bad.

The aroma coming from the fridge was enough to make her hair frizzle. She didn't even want to know what it would have been like at room temperature.

The second thing that hit her was the teetering stack of half-eaten fast-food cartons.

"I wonder," she muttered to herself disgustedly as she wiped half-congealed green and brown sauce from her top, "if Shiranui is in fact immune to poison. If he actually planned on eating any of this, then he would have to be."

Screw it. She was saving the stupid idiot from imminent food-poisoning. She didn't care if there was anything edible left in there- it was all getting chucked out.

For the first time since she had started, she dragged one of Genma's garbage bins directly into the house, and then, having taken a perch on a low stool she had uncovered, (squatting was next-to impossible to balance with her wooden leg, and kneeling was a pain to rise from without a helping hand or a convenient low hand-rail or something like she had set up at her bath at home... not to mention that the prosthetic didn't have a knee joint, so "kneeling" was only a comparative term) proceeded to load the entire contents of the fridge into the bags.

"I wonder what that vivid purple mould grew out of," she thought idly as she threw jars, cartons and bottles indiscriminately into the bin. Right at the back of the last shelf, she found a seemingly untouched six-pack of beer. She checked the use-by date, and was delighted to see that it was still good.

She levered herself up on her crutch and dropped the beer on the dusty counter, and then proceeded to thoroughly disinfect the fridge. Considering the depth and texture of some of the growths inside, she wondered if she should perhaps consider an exorcism. Maybe she'd burn some incense in here after she was done.

That was something she was going to have to consider, she thought- smell. If she ever ended up doing any Inuzuka homes or something then she was going to have to make sure she either used the harsher cleaning agents enough days in advance that the smell wore off (as adding a smell like incense or air-freshener would probably only make it worse for a sensitive Inuzuka nose) or maybe she should get an industrial fan to blow the smells out the windows or something...

Hell, maybe she should just cook a roast. That would probably be enough to infuse the house with not-bleach smell, and she couldn't imagine the Inuzukas having any particular problems with their houses smelling like cooked meat... unless they liked it completely rare, like in the rumours... Hikari supposed that she would have to ask someone.

The fridge done, Hikari then proceeded to clean out the microwave (which was somewhat splattered, but mercifully not growing things inside) and then decided that now was a good time to brave the bathroom.

To her surprise, apart from the thick patina of soap scum in the sink and shower, and the thick layer of muddy dust and spiderwebs, this room at least was fairly clean. There was a yellow mummified cake of soap sludge in the soap holder, and mushrooms growing in one corner where there seemed to be a leak in the shower, but...

Okay, so it was pretty filthy by normal standards, but compared to the rest of the house? It was bearable, and therefore comparatively easy, although she did have to get on her hands and knees to scrub at some of the areas that her mop couldn't reach properly. Fortunately she was able to pull herself up via the sink, otherwise it would have been a pain.

It was a little past midnight by now, but Hikari was determined to see this to the finish. She opened the door to the bedroom, and then nearly started crying.

With relieved laughter, that was. Apart from a thick layer of dust that covered the futon, desk and house-plant, the room was practically empty. It was a bizarre minimalist contrast to the labyrinthine morass that had been in the rest of the apartment.

As she looked over at the window, she could see dirt-tracks on the window-sill, that showed that here was the primary entrance to Genma's small apartment-cum-tip.

"Well I guess this explains how the hell he could live in this shitheap- somehow he's managed to keep here mostly clear," she muttered to herself as she began to dust and sweep out the mess. There was a built-in wardrobe in the corner that she studiously ignored. The chances of it being trapped were high, but even higher was the likelihood of everything inside it falling all over the floor and undoing her work. She decided that if Genma complained, then she'd just tell him she wanted to err on the side of not-snooping.

As she went to wash the mud off the window-sill though, something made Hikari pause.

She poked her crutch in the general direction of the window, and then tapped around the frame.

Fortunately for Hikari, most of the resultant explosion was aimed out the window.

What part of it did reach inside the room though was enough to blow her backwards onto the bed.

"Son of a bitch," she groaned, coughing slightly from the disturbed dust.

Before she could properly sit back up again, three animal-masked ANBU were standing in the room. To be more precise, they were looming over her, so that all she could see were the masks of a Bull, a Lorrikeet and a Gecko.

Warily, she looked up at them, and remembered the first golden rule about dealing with ninja.

No sudden movements.

She made to sit up, but stopped when they all tensed.

Okay then...

"Uh... hi?" she said uncertainly.

For some reason, these words were enough to make the shinobi relax.

I guess that makes sense, Hikari thought to herself, because if I was a ninja, then I'd probably be either silent or screaming out a jutsu about now.

Bull, who seemed to be appropriately masked, because his shoulders were about as broad as Hikari was tall, inclined his head at her.

She assumed that that was silent, soiled-underwear-inspiring ninja speak for "Explain. Now. Please."

She decided to do so. That was the second golden rule. If you like your internal organs where they are, do whatever they want you to do.

"Uh, okay, so basically, I'm currently trying to win a bet."

Three blank masks stared at her.

"You see, ANBU-san," Hikari gulped, "I want to set up a house-sitting and cleaning business for ninja clients. The problem is, I'm a civilian. So, naturally, I have to prove myself to be up to the task. As you are probably aware, this is Shiranui Genma's house."

Three inclined masks were her only answer.

Hikari cleared her throat. "Well, so the thing is... the terms of the bet are that I have to make this place clean by tomorrow afternoon. I was given 24 hours. The only condition I requested was that Shiranui-san remove his traps." She growled indignantly, and for a moment forgot that she was being silently interrogated by a trio of trained killers. "This is the second fucking time! I mean, I get it, okay? You ninja are all completely paranoid. I get it. I assume that it's generally a pretty good survival trait. But goddamn it, I am so going to put a life-insurance clause into the contract. And possibly start cleaning whilst wearing armour or something. In fact, that's what I'm spending my first paycheck on. I mean, for Kami's sake, I didn't ask to see where his traps were set so that the info couldn't be interrogated out of me. Seems like a better policy in general."

To Hikari's shock, she heard a snicker then. The way two of the masks suddenly snapped around to stare at Gecko, she knew that she hadn't been hallucinating.

Theoretically she knew that ANBU were people under those masks, but the idea of a member of the Black-Ops special forces actually laughing was well... quite disconcerting actually.

Bull shook his head, followed by Lorrikeet, who explained in exasperated feminine tones. "He's new."

"Ah." Hikari replied uncertainly.

There was a significant pause.

Hikari then had a thought. "I'll strike you a deal?" she asked.

Bull cracked his knuckles. Gecko stopped snickering.

Lorrikeet just cocked her head, and stared at her. "What sort of deal?"

Hikari slowly sat up, and was happy to note that this time the three ANBU didn't go into Prepare To Neutralise Threat mode.

"Someone could check to see if there are any more unpleasant surprises that I'm likely to uncover, and I won't tell anyone I heard an ANBU laugh."

She looked significantly at Gecko, who cringed a little. That would mean all of his street cred would be gone!

Gecko disappeared, and then returned, in a swirl of leaves.

"Damnit! Now I have to clean that up too!" Hikari moaned.

Figuring that since they were actually talking to her, they had probably relaxed, Hikari went to look for her crutch, and then saw the litter of splinters on the floor.

"Son of a bitch!"

"What?" asked Lorrikeet.

"That piece of shit Shiranui's fucking explosive tag wrecked my crutch," Hikari spat, before dropping her head into her hands. A few moments later, she let out a growl, and then pushed herself into a standing position, then spreading her arms slightly wider than a person normally would, began to hobble about, straightening the bedcover from where she had wrinkled it on impact, and then surveying what she had left to do.

Gecko returned in another swirl of leaves, and Hikari barked at him, "So, anything I should be worried about?"

Gecko shook his head. "Not unless you were going to try rooting inside any of the cupboards in here."

Hikari rolled her eyes. "Do I look like that much of an idiot?" she growled. "Now, I want to know who is going to clean up all these fucking leaves you've just tracked in here with that fucking jutsu. I've got to get this place cleaned, and you just set me back half an hour."

Okay, so it was a bit of an exaggeration, and she hadn't swept the floor in here yet, but the ANBU didn't have to know. The detritus from the exploding tag made it hard to tell anyway.

Gecko made a noise that Hikari could have sworn was a gulp, before he picked up her broom and efficiently started to sweep everything into a large pile, that Hikari, using her long-handled dustpan, moved to sweep it up, balancing even more carefully on her prosthetic than usual. Gecko saw this, and before she could voice a protest, he had taken over, and was lugging the swept-up detritus out to the bin.

As soon as he had left the room, Hikari didn't bother to hide the grin. Damn, that was easier than she'd thought it would be.

Lorrikeet angled her mask at her. "You did that on purpose didn't you."

Hikari shrugged, and didn't bother to deny it. "I want to win this bet. I've potentially got my livelihood on the line here. If he wants to help me out out of the goodness of his heart because he made my job harder for me, well." Hikari let a half-smile show on her face. "If I just-so-happened to match the typical tones of an overbearing Konoha matron to do it, then I can't help it if your average Konoha teen is particularly susceptible to orders in that tone of voice."

Bull whistled lowly, and then spoke in a deep bass voice. "That was plain mean, for a civilian. You do know we're going to make his life an absolute living hell over this."

Hikari shrugged again. "Better he learn it with me than on a mission."

Bull nodded. " Oh believe me, that kid is going to know about the consequences of falling for a ploy like that. To be fair, that bit with the exaggeration of your limp was nice. I did note you never asked him to do a thing for you, just implied it was his job, and he hopped to, like the green newbie he is. You'd do alright in T&I with moves like that."

Hikari blinked. "Thank you, I think. But if this works out, I'm sticking to cleaning ninja houses. That way I get to pick my own hours," she joked.

Carefully, she pushed away the half-forgotten ambitions that that comment had brought up. She pushed them back ruthlessly, slightly surprised that they still lingered. She'd been forced to give up her dreams of being a ninja when she was eight years old.

Gecko came back then, and handed Hikari back her dustpan and broom.

"Thank you," she said with a smile at him, before she turned to face the three ANBU as a group. "Now if the three of you wouldn't mind leaving without tracking leaves back in here, that would be great."

There were clear signs of amusement in Lorrikeet and Bull's postures as they calmly walked towards the front door, whereas Gecko's shoulders had slumped a little.

Hikari smirked, but the realisation that she would have to drag all those bags out of the house without her crutch to help her balance quickly wiped all signs of amusement from her face.

This was going to be a bitch.


	4. It's Not A Genjutsu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are hilarious reaction faces.

Chapter 4: It's not a genjutsu

It was ten o'clock the next day when Hikari finally decided she was happy with what she had done. She'd polished the windows, swept and then scrubbed all of the floors, and then opened as many windows as she could and burned a light sandalwood incense in the house to chase out the worst of the smells. She had filled three skips with the garbage from inside the apartment, and had had to enlist the aid of a group of schoolkids to find the second two. Apparently they had thought the whole thing was funny, and had cheered her on as she had made trip after trip carefully balancing two bags in a slightly awkward posture as she did her best to keep her centre of gravity mostly on her real leg. She'd also procured a large piece of plywood to put over the trap-broken window in the bedroom, though she hadn't nailed it up in case Genma wanted it fixed immediately. If that was the case, she knew a guy who could help him out, but she wanted to wait before she went ahead.

After all of her efforts, the house sparkled.

She thought longingly of the beer that she had replaced into the fridge, but decided in the end that even if Genma had almost certainly forgotten about it, she would be better off not touching it. It was well-known civilian lore that one did not piss off a ninja, and really, Hikari figured, stealing a ninja's beer was just asking for trouble.

Even if she was almost certain he had forgotten about it.

Eleven o'clock found her sitting on the stool she had found outside the front door sipping iced water and eating sushi rolls from a little shop just down the way. She had been amused to note that it was yet another Akimichi place. This one was manned by one of her nieces, and the girl had been more than happy to give a discount to her "Hikari-obasan", although Hikari's niece was only two years younger than Hikari herself.

It was at that point, with three hours until her deadline, that someone must have mentioned in passing to Genma and his colleagues that there was a civilian camping on his doorstep, because soon afterwards, the same group of curious ninja appeared.

Most of them didn't speak to Hikari, and only nodded their heads to her in recognition. Genma when he showed up was less circumspect.

"So what, you gave up?" he asked her cheekily.

Hikari snorted. "Go in and see for yourself," she said. "By the way, you owe me a crutch."

Genma looked mildly confused at this last remark, but walked in nonetheless.

If Hikari had been watching Genma's expression as he walked into the house, she would have been amused to note the fact that the normally laconic ninja went slack-jawed. Fortunately (for everyone but Genma) Aoba had decided to record Genma's reactions for posterity, and so managed to get a pretty decent photo.

On the other hand, Hikari was able to hear his second reaction.

"Kai. KAI!"

Hikari rolled her eyes. "It's not a genjutsu," she called out patiently. "Civilian, remember?"

"Well, you could have maybe paid someone to do it," Genma defended himself as his colleagues started to snicker.

Nara Shikaku chose that moment to add his comment. "Unlikely, considering that she is ostensibly trying to become solvent through this endeavour," he drawled. He poked his head out the door and looked at Hikari. "So what happened to the bedroom window?"

Hikari groaned. "Trap. I assume Genma didn't disarm it because it was pointed outwards. Or maybe he was feeling paranoid. Either way, it disintegrated my crutch. I am the opposite of happy about that, in case you were wondering."

Genma laughed sheepishly. "So I'm Genma now. What happened to Shiranui-san?"

Hikari smiled sweetly at him. "I turned that tip into an apartment, I exorcised your fridge, and your bedroom window blew my crutch up. I think I get given-name rights."

Genma winced. "I actually forgot that old thing was there. To be fair, I never said all the traps were gone."

Hikari scowled. She might be a civilian, but she wasn't a complete idiot. A ninja just forgetting that he had a trap in an obviously well-used entry-way? Puh-lease.

With the air of someone who is sleep-deprived but nonetheless determined she is in the right, Hikari folded her arms and waited.

There was a short, tense silence.

Nara Shikaku snorted and observed the stand-off through half-lidded eyes. "Troublesome."

"What?" said Genma defensively, raising his hands.

"What my esteemed colleague is trying to say, Genma," said Yamanaka Inoichi as he sauntered casually out the door, "is that you owe the girl. I just-so-happened to hear about a report submitted by some ANBU who came to check out the disturbance. Your little tag blew her most of the way across the room. Could have taken her civilian head off if she'd been unlucky."

Hikari decided that she needed to nip that particular thought in the bud. "I wouldn't say luck had anything to do with it. I was cautious approaching any and all ninja entrances- that's why I was poking the trap with my crutch. Looks like my next one will want to be a bit sturdier though, before it ends up as sawdust too."

Genma scowled. "Fine, I'll pay you enough so you can replace your crutch," he said to Hikari.

Hikari snorted. "And then some. Nara hired me on your behalf for twenty-four hours. Even with your First Customer Discount, you owe me," she named a price.

Genma just laughed. "And how do you figure that?" he said.

Hikari smiled. "I'm part of the Union," she said.

Yamanaka raised a blonde eyebrow. "So you're one of those Sorayamas," he said.

Hikari spread her hands wide. "Are there any others?" she asked him rhetorically.

Genma looked from Yamanaka to Hikari and then back again.

"What am I missing?" he demanded.

Nara let out a "tch" of amusement. "You know that teahouse in between the bookshop and the kimono place nearest the hotsprings? And that stall that sells herbs with the blue awning? And that cute little hostel where the merchants like to stay? They're all Sorayama places. The family has been selling things in Konoha for generations. They're one of Konoha's founding merchant families, so they have a seat on the Civilian Council..."

"Cousin Wakana," Hikari rolled her eyes. "She got the seat because no one else wanted it. At least her business sense isn't as terrible as her sense of humour."

"...and in the Civilian Union," Nara continued.

Genma just looked confused. Yamanaka decided to enlighten him.

"They're generally pretty quiet, but it's the Union that decide and uphold most of the rules when it comes to civilian workers. They're the ones that insisted on there being a strict policy against ninja interfering in civilian business. More significant to you, they also insisted on there being structured minimum wages for various jobs." Yamanaka looked over to Hikari. "Which member of your family is the representative for the Union?"

Hikari smiled. "Uncle Daiki. I'm his favourite niece."

Yamanaka's gaze sharpened. "And as his favourite niece, I suppose that you would be able to pass along a message for me and it would be well-received?"

Hikari snorted. "As his favourite niece I can make you an offer he will complain about, but stick to. Rumour has it that your nephew has an uncommon skill for flower-arranging and a complete distaste of the idea of being a ninja."

Yamanaka jerked his head stiffly. It had been a slight disappointment that his sister's boy had been so firm in his decision to stay in civilian school. Privately, he wondered if the rumour that the choice had been at least partly because the boy hadn't wanted to be compared to his elder cousin Ino had a lot to do with it.

Hikari nodded in acknowledgement. "If you verbally offer support for my business, and buy pots from Himura Sanji, then I'll tell Uncle Daiki he's sponsoring your nephew Ren."

Yamanaka considered for a few moments, his face blank. The girl talked a good fight at least. Not to mention well-informed. Sometimes he almost forgot just how efficient the civilian gossip network was. If she was actually able to follow through on her offer, then this could solve a problem that he had been worrying about for a while.

One thing though... "Why pots from Himura?" he asked her.

Hikari stood up and stretched.

"Because Minazaki Yoko, the woman you buy from at the moment snubbed my cousin Kenji, who happens to be Uncle Daiki's son, and my Aunt Toriko was the one to broker the deal between Himura and his current providers of the good red clay."

Yamanaka inclined his head as he thought about that.

"Himura's pots are more expensive than Minazaki's," he said.

"Himura's pots are better than Minazaki's," Hikari countered. "And he tends to give discounts when you buy from him in bulk. His wife loves chrysanthemums, and he has a particular weakness for good quality sake."

Yamanaka raised an eyebrow. When she could not make guarantees on the behalf of Himura, she had given him ammunition to soften the old man up before they began dealing. He caught Nara's eye, and from expression, he knew that his long time teammate and friend was impressed too. Nara did not impress easily. That in itself would have been a fair endorsement, but even without it, her offer was a good one.

"My endorsement after you organise an introduction between myself, my nephew and your Uncle," he told her.

"Done."

Yamanaka stuck out his hand in a civilian gesture of sealing an agreement. Ninja rarely shook hands, as it was far too easy to transfer a contact poison or to grab someone and throw them with such freely-allowed contact. At the very least, crushed knuckles were often the outcome of two ninja sharing a handshake, even if they did trust each other enough to engage in one.

The fact that Hikari offered her hand unflinchingly showed that she was willing to trust him. The fact that Yamanaka's handshake was firm but not uncomfortably so displayed that he might be a ninja, but he understood about and respected civilian business dealings. The fact that the Yamanaka flower shop was so successful had a lot to do with the fact that they weren't known as the best ninja flower shop in Konoha. They were simply known as the best flower shop, in part because the Yamanakas had always made it a point of pride to be able to deal with civilians.

Hikari was pleased to do business with him.

Yamanaka turned to look Genma in the eye.

"Genma, pay the woman. And include the money for a new crutch. We once offered cleaning your apartment as an A-rank, and we couldn't find any takers. It was considered too cruel even for rookie genin teams."

Genma just grinned sheepishly and nodded. He pulled out a chequebook.

Lucky he had taken out all of those A-ranks recently, otherwise he would have been screwed. Though he was going to save a fortune in hotel fees for the next while or so, so in retrospect, maybe this was a worthy investment.

He looked down at the large box of lost senbon and kunai.

Okay, so maybe this had been an extremely worthy investment.

Three minutes later, a glowingly happy Hikari stumped off in the general direction of the bank. She already had plans for the money, the new crutch being the least of it.

Ibiki emerged from the shadows. For an imposing man, he was good at being quiet when he wanted to listen, and he had watched the entire exchange. He considered what he had just seen. In a campaign that had been as smooth as one of Nara's shoji matches, the one-legged civilian girl had managed to separately ensure the support of the entirety of the Ino-Shika-Cho team, and thus by proxy their clans. The good word of three well-liked ninja clans was nothing to sniff at. The fact that she had done so by reminding the Akimichi of her family connection, impressing the Nara with her nerve and the Yamanaka with her business acumen showed that the girl had almost certainly thought long and hard before she had stepped forward "spontaneously" in the dumpling stall.

Ibiki nodded to himself as he strolled casually back to his offices at T&I. If only because she had provided him with more amusement than he had had in a long time, he would definitely be keeping a close eye on that girl.

After all, it wasn't every day he met a civilian with the guts to stand up to him.


	5. Clean, Green, Fighting Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hikari Encounters Gai.

Chapter 5: Clean, Green, Fighting Machine

After news of Hikari's success with Shiranui Genma's house, (an event that was described as a Search and Destroy mission, in which the Search was for the floor, and the Destroy referred to practically everything that Hikari had encountered on the way to it,) offers for Hikari's services started to, if not flood, then at least trickle in at a rate steady enough that she was kept busy. As it turned out, most of the ninja above genin were too paranoid to let her into their houses unsupervised, but this did not particularly bother Hikari- at least then she had someone to talk to as she toiled her way through, excavating the deep layers of what she euphemistically termed accumulated "Ninja Dirt".

Some of the substances that made up "Ninja Dirt" were such that Hikari not only did not want to know, she had a feeling if she knew any specifics, then they would have to put her under an even stronger vow of secrecy than was stipulated in her contract.

Getting the contract itself drawn up had been quite an... interesting exercise. Her cousin Sachiko worked with the Union's legal department, and so through her, Hikari was introduced to Chaikawa Obito, a man who was well-known for being able to draw up contracts that both civilians and ninja could be happy with. He was often the first stop for civilian merchants who wanted a ninja escort for their caravans.

Irritatingly for Hikari, before he would writ her the contract, she had to convince him that she knew what she was doing. The first time he told her she should go home and think about it, she was annoyed, but kept her temper. When he suggested that she marry to provide her family with money, she was absolutely livid.

"First of all, you are not my father nor my clan-leader, Chaikawa-san, so with all due respect, what I do with my personal life is none of your demons' cursed business. Secondly, even if it was, I might be a 'plain, blunt-mouthed, civilian cripple'," Chaikawa had the grace to wince at the direct quotation of something that his ex-kunoichi wife had said about Hikari at a social event three months ago whilst three sheets to the wind, "but that doesn't make me stupid. I've already had to replace a crutch from the 'test run', and I cleaned Shiranui Genma's apartment." At this point, Chaikawa's eyebrows shot up. He had heard rumours through his wife to that effect, but had privately doubted them. He had known Shiranui Genma's mother quite well, and so had a fair idea of the complete and utter non-existence of any house-keeping skills that the ninja had. Kami knew his poor mother Akane had railed about it enough.

"I know exactly what I am getting myself into," Hikari had stressed. "So are you going to write this contract for me, or am I going to have to pass on to someone with lesser talents because you are too 'concerned for my well-being'," she practically spat.

Fortunately for Hikari, Chaikawa had been mostly just testing her. Being married to an ex-kunoichi missing her right arm to the elbow from a particularly brutal opponent in the Grass Chunin exams twenty years ago meant that Chaikawa was well-informed of some of the serious cultural clashes that could come from misunderstandings between civilians and ninja, even within a ninja village like Konoha. The fact that even whilst nettled, Hikari had acknowledged that he was the best at what he did had given him confidence that the girl could keep her head in an emotional situation. This skill was important for civilians conducting business, but it was twice as important when dealing with ninjas.

The worst thing that could happen if you forgot who you were talking to to a civilian was likely to be shunning from some quarters and the collapse of a few business deals.

The worst thing that could happen with a ninja, particularly considering factors such as battle-fatigue and the occasional ninja who just went stark-raving crazy over something like "respect" would be a maiming. And considering the girl was already missing a leg, it wasn't as though she really had limbs to spare.

Chaikawa, looking at Hikari, saw a girl who had learnt at a young age that she was physically incapable of running away from danger at any sort of respectable pace. Instead of this reinforcing a sense of her own helplessness though, Hikari had taken the limitation in stride. With Flight restricted, Hikari was left with Fight or Neutralize. 'Not stupid' indeed. Chaikawa had seen how she had avoided conflict to begin with, but how she had likewise stood strong when it became clear that he was going to put her off otherwise. She reminded him a little of his not-so delicate flower Kimiko, who taught the little girls at the Academy skills that meant if their careers were cut short like hers had been, they would be able to still make a living beyond the pension that all ninja who survived career-ending injuries were entitled to.

As a mark of the respect that Sorayama Hikari had evoked in him, Chaikawa had made the unusual move of personally delivering the contract to the Hokage instead of handing it off to a clerk.

"Chaikawa! What a pleasant surprise!" Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage had greeted him.

The Hokage had not appeared surprised at all. Despite himself, Chaikawa grinned just a little.

"So how long were you practicing that in the mirror before I turned up, Monkey?" Unseen to Chaikawa, one of the Anbu hidden in the office nearly fell off the ceiling at the old civilian's casualness in front of the Hokage. Naturally, the three other Anbu in the office all saw, as did the Hokage, and as a result all four very pointedly never mentioned it in a way that meant that whenever Ocelot saw them, he knew exactly what they were remembering.

The two old friends sat down to hash out the details over a little sake. When Chaikawa left several hours later, the Hokage settled back in his chair with a smile. It was good to catch up with old friends. Even (especially) when they could remember embarrassing things about his childhood.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Something that in retrospect perhaps should not have surprised Hikari was that the bulk of her repeat customers were not necessarily those who were going on long-term missions. She commented on as much to Aoba when she was mopping his bathroom floor, and he informed her that that was Ibiki's doing.

"If the mission is supposed to be a secret, then you don't want spies to pick up on the fact that whoever has called in the cleaner is about to go on a long-haul mission. Too much of a tell. Quite aside from foreign problems, the last thing we want to do is make hiring you be a tell for a house that is about to be empty. Some smart-arse civilian burglar might be given the mistaken impression that the places will be easy pickings, and then you'd be cleaning up bodies."

Hikari just stared at the sunglasses-wearing jonin. "Huh," was all she replied.

Later, as she stumped home with her cleaning supplies dragging behind her in a small handcart, she wondered if ninjas ever got paranoia migraines. It might explain some things.

Then again, there were other good reasons why they might have migraines. She could hear one of them coming now.

"YOSH! Is this not a most wonderful day to be feeling Youthful! I will do thirty laps of the village on my hands to celebrate, and if I cannot do that, I will do 300 one-handed push-ups whilst balanced on the river!"

Hikari side-stepped just in time to avoid a collision as a green blur came speeding around the corner. The green blur moved twenty meters past her, and then backtracked at a slightly more sedate rate.

"Good Lady! I apologise for my Youthful Speed almost causing you an Unyouthful Injury!"

Hikari looked down at the upside-down face with the thick shaggy eyebrows and noticed that he was bare-handed. For a moment, she considered the amount of dirt, broken glass, sharp rocks and suchlike that those hands had probably been walking through, and decided that if he ever offered one to her, she would demand he washed it first. Other than that though...

"So, how thick is the callus on your palms?" she asked him. "Can you even feel textures with your fingers anymore?"

The man shrugged, making it look like he was doing a hand-stand push-up. "If I wish to feel textures, then I must use some other part of my body, for my hands are my weapons, much as my feet, knees and elbows are my weapons. Why do you ask?"

Hikari shrugged. "I just wondered. I noticed that you weren't wearing gloves and figured this was probably more than just muscle training for you. I suppose this way you don't have to go around slapping walls, and you get the benefit of using your entire body as a weight-set."

The sudden dazzling sunny grin nearly made Hikari leap back in surprise. There was so much... personality in that grin. Idly, she wondered how much of it was natural charisma and how much was a genjutsu. At least some of it had to be genjutsu, because otherwise she was looking at a fully grown man leaving a trail of glitter in the air.

Then again, ninja could be pretty weird sometimes...

Though this particular man was famous for his weirdness. Even if she was not in the habit of keeping up with gossip, Hikari would have heard this guy every day, bellowing his famous speeches about youth, vitality, and insane training regimes as he went along. If there was something that Maito Gai, Konoha's Green Beast habitually wasn't, it was quiet and unnoticeable.

"So," Hikari said, "when am I going to pay a housecall to Konoha's Green Beast?"

Gai looked a little confused, but then looked her up and down. Hikari could practically hear the moment when the penny dropped.

"Ah! You are Sorayama Hikari, the young girl who has started the ninja cleaning business!"

Hikari snorted. "Young girl my arse. You'd been a chunin for six years already when you were my age. And don't give me that crap about ninja versus civilian years. I haven't been a child since Kyuubi knocked a house on my leg."

Gai cocked his head. "Oh? I thought you were 16?" He didn't ask how she knew that he had become chunin at 11. It was common enough knowledge if you paid attention to such things.

For similar reasons Hikari didn't bother to ask him how he knew her age and shook her head. "17. My birthday was three days ago."

Gai grinned at her, still upside-down. "Well happy belated birthday then!"

Hikari just shrugged. She usually ignored her birthday, and this year, with her mother sick, her brother busy studying for his Academy exams and her sister working mad hours at the dumpling shop, it had gone by even less remarked than usual.

"But I must say that I did not mean to offend you! Quite the opposite in fact. You should be glad that you are still a Flower of Youthfulness!"

Despite herself, Hikari burst out laughing at his words. "Flower? No one has compared me to a flower before. Maybe one of those hard to get rid of weeds. They flower sometimes." She considered. "Come to think of it, I think I'd rather be irritating and hardy than a delicate blossom that will fade away with the first frost."

Gai seemed to consider that. "What about Lotuses?" he asked her. "They are both hardy, and pretty to look at."

Hikari shrugged. "But they can only flourish in still water, and I've never enjoyed being coddled like that." She considered for a moment. "Actually? I think I'd rather be some sort of thorny vine like a bougainvillea or something. Hardy, and will make you bleed if you mess with it."

Hikari shook her head. "How did we even get onto this subject? You still haven't answered my question. When are you going to book my services for your house?"

Gai smiled at her. "Not for a while, my Beautiful Bougainvillea. I have been put on forced leave for two more weeks, and so long as I am inside it, my home is always kept up to the Highest Standards of Cleanliness!"

Hikari raised an eyebrow. "If that's the case, then I'm surprised. I saw Kakashi's place last week and by Kami, I thought his carpet was grey until I realised it was all the dust."

To her amusement, Gai became particularly excited by this. "Yosh! I have Defeated my Rival in the Challenge of Keeping a Better Household!"

Hikari stifled a snicker. "Oh no, don't tell him I told you. He might claim I've violated the confidentiality clause," she said deadpan.

To her surprise, Gai suddenly became extremely serious. "Very well, he shall never know it was you who told me. My Lips are Sealed!" Before Hikari could adjust to this spectacle of a Serious Gai, Youthful Gai returned with a sparkling grin. "But now I shall Challenge him to have a cleaner house, and the fact that I already know he is behind shall be Our Secret! Until Next Time my Beautiful Bougainvillea." With a wink and a thumbs up, Gai left in a blur of green and a cloud of dust, still upside-down and balanced on his hands.

Hikari stared after him for a moment, then picked up her cart and carried onward. She had a job to do, and no amount of crazy ninja with blinding smiles were going to distract her from it.

Even if he did call her Beautiful.


	6. The Little Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Hikari Encounters Naruto, and Bull meets Akira.

Chapter 6: The Little Demon

Hikari had been established as the ninja cleaning lady for a good seven months the first time she met the Demon Container.

She had encountered him before of course. With his vivid blonde hair, (so like the Yondaime's, she had always thought privately, it seemed the Fox had a sick sense of humour,) and his general penchants for wearing vivid orange and causing mayhem, it was hard not to spot him every once in a while. Especially since pretty much everyone who did encounter him tended to rave on and on about how much of a nuisance he was, and occasionally whisper darkly what they thought about keeping a kid with the soul of the Kyuubi sealed inside him alive.

Hikari herself had always given the kid a wide berth. It wasn't that she thought the kid was the Kyuubi, not at all. In fact, Hikari thought it was pretty blatantly obvious that he was not, seeing as there was a decided lack of violent deaths occurring around him. More than a few paint bombs, bad smells and loud noises, sure, but Hikari figured that if she was a demon who had control of a kid, she would be more than an annoying prankster, especially seeing as most of the village and civilian businesses, with the notable exception of Ichiraku's Ramen, so she had heard, tended to treat him worse than a leper.

No, the main reason why Hikari avoided him was that she could feel his chakra. It never felt as bad or powerful as it had the night her leg had been crushed, but it never ceased to put her on edge. It was a similar feeling that someone afraid of heights might experience when trapped in a room ten storeys up with one wall to the outside missing. Logically, so long as one avoided that missing wall like the plague, one wasn't about to fall down their deaths, and was perfectly safe. That didn't mean that one felt safe though.

Hikari could have happily gone the rest of her life ignoring the kid's existence had it not been for the fact that one day when she was walking down the street pulling her cart, an orange blur came hurtling around the corner and crashed into her middle.

The wind was immediately driven out of Hikari, and having not been braced for the impact, she fell hard into the dirt, and the odd angle caused her prosthetic leg to fall off and roll away from her.

About to cuss out whoever had barrelled into her, Hikari's first vision as she sat up was a pair of terrified blue eyes.

"G-gomenasai! I didn't mean to make your leg fall off! Hold on lady, I'll go get some help!" the kid yelped.

Well she couldn't be having that. She'd never hear the end of it if a medic got dragged to her to reattach her prosthesis. Before he could dash off, Hikari lunged forward and grabbed a handful of orange jacket, raising a hand to gesture to him to wait a moment until she could get her breath back to speak.

She was startled to see the immediate cringe, and the way he cowered into a shaking ball.

The last time she had seen such a posture, it had been little Tsuba Naoki, a kid that Masaru used to play with sometimes, whose career-genin drunk of a father had beaten on a regular basis until the neighbours cottoned on and informed the police. Tsuba Kyou had been consequently stripped of his hitai-ate, and as far as Hikari was aware, Naoki had gone to live with his aunt in another village.

Something in Hikari snapped at that sight.

No kid should ever have that kind of reflex, no matter what.

Even if he was a trouble maker.

Even if he was a demon container?

Hikari banished that thought. Demon container she reminded herself. The Sandaime had said as much, and if the so-called Professor of Ninja, the Hokage didn't feel threatened enough to exterminate the kid, then he must have a good reason.

Besides. the kid obviously had not meant to knock her over like that. Having had a little brother, she knew quite well that children his age were appalling at hiding whether or not they were sorry about something. And it was more than that. As well as the genuine remorse, it was quite clear he was utterly terrified. For her or of her, Hikari wasn't sure, but she decided then and there that she didn't like it.

"Kid," she said, touching his shoulder hesitantly as she slowly released his jacket. "You okay? Daijoubu kana?"

At that, the kid looked up incredulously. "Am I okay? Lady, your leg just fell off! Why won't you let me get a medic?"

Hikari bit her lip to hold in the laugh that threatened to escape. No need to freak the kid out further. "Oh, don't worry, it does that sometimes. Can you go pick it up for me?"

The kid scrunched his nose up in confusion, but did as he was told. He gingerly picked up the prosthesis, and nearly dropped it again.

"This is made out of wood!" he exclaimed.

Hikari snorted. This kid was a riot. "Sure is. Now can you bring it over here so I can re-attach it?"

The kid stared at her, and handed over the prosthesis, carefully, as though it was something fragile.

Hikari examined her artificial limb, and was relieved that apart from a bit of road-dust, her limb seemed to be unscathed. She checked the laces around the leather cup that usually held her prosthesis on, and saw that they too were all fine. Must have just been the angle she fell at that made it pop off. Annoying, but better than having it broken.

Feeling the kid's gaze on her, she looked up to see him staring at her wide-eyed.

"Why is your leg made out of wood? Is it a jutsu like Mokuton?"

Hikari couldn't help it, she burst out laughing.

"Hahahaha oh man kid, that's a good one. No, I'm not a long-lost relative of the Shodaime, I'm just a civilian missing half a leg. This is my prosthesis. Gives me something to balance on, since the original is gone." She noticed the kid was pouting a bit, and figured he thought she was laughing at him. Well she was a bit, but she wasn't trying to be mean. "Oh lighten up kid. It's not like it's your leg that's gone."

She hiked up her skirt a little so that her stump was showing, and re-attached the leg, ignoring the gawking blue eyes.

"Give me a hand up out of the dirt, kid? It's harder to stand when you have to lean most of your weight on one leg."

A rough, dirty little hand grasped hers, and using her crutch as a lever, Hikari managed to rise to a standing position, and began to brush the dirt off herself. She looked up at the clock-tower and swore.

"Damnit, now I'm late," she muttered to herself. Fortunately, her next call didn't have anyone waiting for her there, so they wouldn't care if she turned up twenty minutes after she said she would be there. She'd just have to stay a little longer than she had planned.

She turned to the blonde kid. "See you later kid. Slow down a bit, or watch where you're going at least, or next time someone might get real hurt."

With that, Hikari wandered off, dragging her cart behind her, unaware that despite how deserted the street had looked, the entire interaction between her and the kid had been spotted and noted.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Two days later, Hikari was shopping in the market place when she was shocked to receive a rather severe glare from the lady who ran the fish stall.

"What?" Hikari demanded. "Don't like the smell of your own produce or something today Harumi?"

Harumi, who had sold Hikari fish for years, and who normally had a fairly good sense of humour only glared harder.

Hikari just stared back. "Alright, out with it. What? What did I do to offend you?" she demanded bluntly.

Harumi huffed. "Word has it that you were being nice to the Demon Foxbrat."

Hikari had to resist the urge to gape. That was what this was about? Huh. And she used to have such a decent opinion of Harumi too. "Nice? Since when am I nice to anybody?" she evaded.

Harumi folded her arms in front of her. "Rika said Takara's boyfriend Yoshi's sister saw it."

Hikari sighed. Time to do some damage control. She had nothing against the Demon Container personally, but on the other hand, she couldn't afford to piss off half the village. She did have to live there after all, and she had a client base to think of.

"Saw what exactly? Saw me get knocked over by the brat? Saw me ask him to grab my wooden leg for me because I didn't want to have to go crawling through the dirt after it? You've known me now for how many years Harumi? You know how much harder I find it to get back up from a fall, especially in a skirt, with my prosthesis somewhere over in the dirt." Hikari hated showing weakness, but if this was what it took to get people to shut up and mind their own business, then she was going to use every trick in her arsenal.

Fortunately, Harumi thought Hikari's irritated tone was directed at the kid, as she seemed to accept her explanation of the events at face value.

"Oh, how dreadful! To have that thing put you in such a humiliating situation!" Harumi gushed.

Hikari's mouth tightened. Now that was just un-fucking-called for. She was trying to keep the story as neutral as she thought it was, and here was Harumi trying to spin it into a "pity the cripple who got picked on by the nasty Demon" story. Well fuck that, Hikari thought. Then she relaxed, smiling. Harumi wanted to play that game? Okay, Hikari knew the rules.

"Humiliating? Oh, no, it wasn't humiliating. Irritating perhaps, but let's face it," Hikari gestured in a self-deprecating fashion, "I clean for ninjas. I'm used to a bit of rolling around in the dirt."

Harumi's eyes gleamed at Hikari's "accidental" innuendo, and Hikari smiled back with her lips.

Her eyes were cold, as she breezily continued, "Although that reminds me. Speaking of 'humiliation' and 'rolling around in the dirt', I heard the most interesting rumour recently, about your husband and Ooyama Yuki."

Harumi's smile dropped faster than fish prices during an ice shortage.

"Hikari..." she said in a warning tone that failed to completely hide her discomfort. Hikari might not have been the most popular person in the village, but she had connections, and a reputation for saying what she honestly thought in the bluntest language possible. She also had a talent for being one of the first to know about all sorts of things. When she got home, she was going to kill her husband for putting her in this position.

Hikari didn't bother to hide how little she was intimidated. "No. I have known you for years, Kawanaka Harumi, and unless you want what I know spread from one end of the village to the other, not only are you going to keep your negative opinions about anything I do to yourself, you are going to discourage other people who talk shit about me. People who work at fish-stalls shouldn't call the apothecary smelly, do you understand me, Harumi?"

Dumbly, the fish-seller nodded, starting to look distinctly ill.

Hikari nodded back. "Alright then. I'll have this one," she said, indicating a medium-sized trout.

Harumi stuttered out the price, and Hikari paid it without haggling, knowing a good deal when she heard one. As she received her wrapped fish, Hikari sighed. She had originally intended not to go this direction, but screw it. It wouldn't sit right on her conscience if she did otherwise.

"Oh and Harumi?" she said, tucking the fish into her shopping bag.

"What?" asked Harumi, still looking distinctly green about the gills.

"Leave the kid alone. I scared him good the other day, and unless he does something specific to you, I don't want you talking up a moral outrage about him. Kid's got enough problems to deal with."

Hikari left the store, with her fish, knowing that that was the last time she was ever going to shop at Harumi's stall.

It was after Hikari had finished her shopping that the ANBU caught up with her.

Hikari was amused to note that it was Bull. She didn't see him around too often, but he had a tendency of appearing in front of her every once in a while when she was out working. She figured him letting her see him was the ANBU equivalent of saying "hi".

"Miss Hikari, the Hokage would like to speak to you," Bull said to her in a bland tone of voice.

Hikari's brow creased. "The Hokage wants to speak with me? Why?" She figured that it had something to do with her work, but she had been cleaning for ninja for almost 8 months now. What on earth had she managed to stumble on that required a meeting with the ninja leader?

Bull's mask hid his face, and his body language seemed impassive. "I am unaware of the purpose of the meeting, but he would like to talk to you as soon as possible."

Hikari read Bull's tone as "Now, or five minutes ago", but refused to be bullied.

"Well in case you hadn't noticed, Bull-san, I've just finished my shopping, and I need to get this fish in the icebox before it gets too much sun. As soon as I have squared my groceries away, I will be more than happy to meet with the Hokage," she said.

"Acceptable."

Bull then grabbed her arm, and before Hikari could do more than blink, she was in front of her door.

"Amaterasu and the Shinigami! The hell you think you're doing?" Hikari gasped, thumping Bull on the shoulder. Well, she tried to thump him on the shoulder, but he grabbed her hand when it was centimetres away. He gave it a warning squeeze and then let her go. He could tell that there had been no malicious intent, and besides, she had done a really good job on his kitchen the other day. That didn't mean he could let a civilian actually land a hit on him though, let alone a one-legged cleaning lady. He would be laughed out of ANBU. Instead of answering Hikari, Bull just looked at her through his porcelain mask.

Hikari just huffed, shaking out her hand and acknowledging his superior strength. If she had been thinking, she would never have tried that with any ninja, let alone an ANBU. Lucky he liked her. Deaths caused by civilians initiating fights with ninja were generally referred to as 'suicides'. "Fine. Okay. Next time could you please warn me though before you do something like that?"

Bull inclined his head, and Hikari decided to take that as a "maybe".

Having recovered from her surprise, Hikari quickly packed away her groceries, placing the vegetables and her fish in the fridge, and the dry goods in her cupboard. Idly, she wondered what Bull thought of her kitchen. It was not a particularly good advertisement of her abilities. The wooden floor needed to be swept, and there were more than a few stains and scratchmarks that she hadn't bothered to patch up about the place. The fridge had previously belonged to one of Hikari's uncles, and the miscellaneous pots and pans and crockery in various stages of cleanliness had come from at least three different relatives, the last time Hikari had checked, and most were scorched or dinged. There was a vase of wilting day lilies in one corner, sitting in a jam jar.

Bull frowned behind his mask. He had seen poorer residences before, but as far as he was aware, Hikari had clients all over the village. Going from what she had charged him when he had requested she air and dust his house out a while back, he would have figured that Hikari would be raking in the money.

It was then that he heard a low coughing sound from another part of the house.

"Oh. Kaa-san must be awake," said Hikari. "I'll just be a moment."

Bull followed Hikari as she ducked through a narrow door into a narrower corridor, watching as she knelt with some difficulty to open a sliding screen door.

"Kaa-san, ogenki?" Hikari asked how her mother was feeling.

From the shadows of the corridor, Bull was slightly startled at the sight of Hikari's mother. Lying propped on pillows on a futon was a woman with hollow cheeks and greyish-yellow tinged skin. The unmistakeable smells of a sickroom, of dying flowers, disinfectant, stale teas and less pleasant bodily odours lingered. As he watched, the woman rolled painfully onto her side as her body was racked with a vicious hacking cough.

As soon as the cough subsided, the woman struggled to sit up. Hikari helped her into a more upright position, and then handed her a cup of cold water from a jug that had been standing next to the wilting freesias that waved forlornly in a blue-glazed vase.

"I'm afraid today is not a good day, Hikari," said her mother. Dark brown eyes glazed over due to illness suddenly sharpened as they spotted Bull in the shadows.

"Who are you? Are you one of Hikari's customers? Come in here where I can see you! Sneaking around an old woman's sickbed, the cheek of it!" Despite her apparent illness, the woman's voice was strident, albeit a little hoarse.

Ducking his head a little despite himself, Bull moved so that he was standing more in the light.

Hikari just shook her head. "Kaa-san," her intonation fell and then rose in a light teasing scold. "You know he's not supposed to introduce himself. It'd violate some secret law of Anbu mysteriousness," she joked. Hikari turned to Bull and said, "this is my mother, Sorayama Akira. Kaa-san, I guess you can call him Bull? That's what I generally do, seems to be easier that way."

Sorayama Akira sat upright amongst her pillows and bowed solemnly to Bull.

"Welcome, Bull-san to my house. Before my illness I would have insisted on offering you some tea that you would no doubt decline, but as it is, I am hardly in good enough shape to be a decent hostess. Have you known Hikari long?"

Hikari grinned. "Oh, he has. Unless there's another Bull-masked Anbu running around, he came to check what the ruckus was when I nearly got blown up by Shiranui Genma's trap first day on the job. Did Gecko improve after all that?" Hikari asked, "or are you not allowed to tell me?"

Bull inclined his head slightly. "Yes," was all he answered, with a slight smile behind his mask. Gecko had actually managed to rise as high as lieutenant, and was currently on his fifth solo Anbu mission. But he couldn't tell that to a civilian.

"Oh?" Akira said. "So you and my daughter have known each other for a few months then. Hikari, why didn't you tell me you were spending time with such handsome men?" she winked at the Bull-mask, and wondered if he was blushing as red as her daughter. "Now you, behave yourself around my Hikari, or I might just have to rise out of this sick-bed and give you a hiding!"

Bull inclined his head silently, and bowed, the gesture verging on the melodramatic. Akira was delighted. Imagine, an Anbu with a sense of humour!

Hikari just rolled her eyes, and turned back to the near-skeletal form of her mother. "Do you need more of your medicine Kaa-san? More tea? More soup? Natsuko-neesan brought over some more miso, I just saw it in the fridge..."

"No, no, I am quite alright," sighed Akira. "You just missed your sister, she already force fed me enough for one day. I'll take the medicine later. Right now my programme is about to come on the radio, and I want a clear head when I'm listening."

Hikari smiled sadly. "Alright Kaa-san. I have to go now, but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Fine, go gallivanting about with nice young men, whilst your poor mother is trapped in bed, see if I care," Akira put the back of her hand against her forehead dramatically. Then she paused, and added acerbically, "even if 'good listener' best describes his communication style. Still, you know what they say about the strong and silent type, and I'm not getting any younger dear, you really should start working on giving me some grandchildren..."

Hikari groaned, pointedly didn't look at Bull, and hauled herself up from her kneeling position using the doorframe.

"Yeah. Sure. Alright, we're leaving, bye!"

"Have fun, dear," Akira snarked as Hikari scrambled away. Just as Bull moved to follow, the bed-ridden woman gestured for him to wait, and so he stopped.

"You Anbu don't tend to make social calls. My daughter isn't in trouble is she?" For the first time, Bull saw worry in the sick woman's eyes.

"No." Bull paused. Normally he would have left it at that, but it was clear to him that his monosyllabic response was not enough to reassure her. Against his better judgement, he decided that this time, at least, he could tell an obviously dying woman enough to ease her mind.

Not that it would be strictly the truth, because that would really go against the grain, but he figured that Sorayama Akira was a smart woman, and could figure out enough.

"The Hokage is feeling social," he told her, "and wants to chat about your daughter's business."

Akira's eyebrows shot up, and she seemed to ponder this for a moment, before nodding once in acknowledgement. He could tell from her expression that she had not been expecting his response. Frankly he didn't blame her. He was surprised at himself. Fortunately, there weren't any of his comrades around to see his bad example.

"Thank you, Bull-san." Akira bowed from her seated position. "Naturally," Akira grinned, and Bull was struck by the sudden resemblance to her daughter, "this conversation never happened."

Bull grunted, "What conversation?" and then left.

She heard his light tread after her daughter's thumping one, and then a light whoosh of shunshin. She would have to remind Masaru to sweep up the leaves when he got home.

Sorayama Akira sat back against her pillows as her favourite radio programme, a daily reading from an epic story, played, but she was only half-listening to the soothing tones of Gesa Yajirai.

The Hokage himself was taking an interest in her daughter's business? Interesting. Depending on what this meeting was about, and how it went, it was likely that either Hikari's little venture was doomed, or...

Judging by what the Anbu had revealed, Akira had a good feeling about this. She smiled, but it was a sad smile. She knew perfectly well that Hikari had wanted to raise the money for her medicine, but even months ago, the doctors had been forthright about it only being a small chance that the medicine would help. Maybe if Tsunade had been around still, and they had caught it earlier... but even then, when it came to the limited time of such med-nins, civilians were always at the back of the queue. Doubly so if the affliction was a chronic illness instead of injury or poisoning.

Akira had been visited by Doctor Takaba yesterday, and the prognosis had been grim. The prohibitively expensive medicine had had some effect, sure, but Akira's disease had been even more advanced than they had originally thought. Doctor Takaba had told her that without some sort of divine intervention she had maybe four months to settle her affairs. If it hadn't been for the medicine, she would have been dead months ago.

Akira hadn't told her daughters and son yet. She would soon, of course, she wanted them to be prepared. She knew that Hikari especially was going to be hit hard by her death. Natsuko at least had her husband Souta to lean on, and Masaru had his genin team mates, but who did Hikari have? Family loyalty was valued in the Sorayama clan, and Kami knew Akira had enough in-laws to fill a barn, but apart from her brother-in-law Daiki and his branch, most of the family tended to treat Hikari like a mildly dangerous eccentric.

Which, Akira mused, was a not completely undeserved description of her daughter, but still. Hikari, understanding that her sister Natsuko was already run off her feet caring for little Choko and Chori as well as working at that dumpling stand, and that Masaru as a genin had a heavy training and mission schedule to keep to, had taken it upon herself to be Akira's primary care-giver as her health had declined. Akira wished it hadn't been necessary, but particularly since she had become too weak to leave her futon unaided, it was exactly that.

But at least... Akira sighed. At least with this ninja cleaning business, Hikari would be able to have a livelihood. Assuming today went well. Akira would have a little to leave to her three children when she was gone, but she much preferred them to have secure futures. Again, Natsuko with her family and Masaru with his team-mates and ninja career both had their niches carved for the foreseeable future. The ninja business was dangerous of course, and Akira worried that one day her Masaru would get in over his head and get killed, but at least he had a direction for his life, and the potential for a well-paying, well-respected job in the community.

Hikari on the other hand... well, Akira supposed, worrying did little good. At this point, she could do little but hope and pray for the best.

Speaking of hope... that Anbu...

He had seemed oddly solicitous of her daughter, and willing to humour an old, sick woman. Completely out of character for those animal-masked spectres, she thought to herself.

"I wonder..." she muttered to herself.

Ah, no matter. Things would work out, one way or the other.

With that thought, she settled back against her pillows to listen to the trials of Tashi, world traveller and ladies' man, but instead began to doze.

…...


	7. A Meeting With the Hokage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Hikari has a Conversation with the Hokage.

Chapter 7: A meeting with the Hokage

Bull's shunshin took them both to the foot of the Hokage's tower. Hikari stumbled and nearly fell flat on her face, but a hand with fingers like steel bars gripped her upper and pulled her to her feet, holding her upright until she was balanced.

"Thanks," Hikari gasped. "Wow that's a rush. I can see why you shinobi insist on doing that all the time. Feels like flying."

Bull cocked his head, examining her, but offered no comment. Hikari just shrugged. She was used to the huge guy not talking a whole lot. Vaguely she wondered if he was the same with the mask off, but decided that it didn't matter. It was really very much none of her business.

Turning to the tower, Hikari looked at the number of stairs she was going to have to go up and swore.

Bull looked at her, his mask angled in what Hikari had decided was his "questioning" look.

"Ugh, don't worry about it," Hikari said, flapping one hand. "Just that many stairs is going to be a bitch to get up... No! That's not what I meant! Don't even fucking think about it," Hikari snarled when Bull wordlessly offered to carry her up the stairs. "I might be crippled, but that doesn't make me useless, and the day I let a flight of stairs defeat me is the day I let my Aunt Noriko have her way about the nursing home she suggested when I first lost the leg. For the record," Hikari scowled, "that day will come over my dead body, so the point will be moot."

And with that proclamation, Hikari began to carefully make her way up the stairs, using the bannister on one side and her crutch on the other to swing herself upwards step by step, putting as little weight on her prosthesis as possible. Bull followed behind her, and Hikari decided to pretend that he was just doing his job as escort, as opposed to making sure she didn't need the help that she'd refused.

Even if she did stumble, she would refuse. She'd make her way up those stairs alone if she had to crawl.

About ten minutes later, having been stopped a few times by paperwork-nin who had wanted to know what the hell a civilian was doing in the Tower, (Hikari, slightly breathless from exertion had simply pointed at the massive masked presence at her back and most of them had paled and backed away slowly,) they were finally at the Hokage's door. Bull pushed past Hikari and entered with only a perfunctory knock. Hikari followed closely behind him.

Hikari had never seen the Hokage up close before. She could recognise him, obviously, considering that his face took up a significant proportion of the mountainside, and his official robes were pretty distinctive, but the closest she had ever been to this man was most of a room away when her little brother Masaru had graduated the Academy.

This was a man, she reminded herself, who was called "the Professor" because he knew and could perform a ridiculous amount of jutsu. This was a man who had been given the job as Hokage because he was, "the strongest" of all the shinobi of his generation.

She had to remind herself, because frankly, the Hokage looked pretty old and tired, as he sat hunched over and squinted over his paperwork through slightly battered-looking reading glasses. He was almost as old as her grandfather, and she had little doubt that the man had seen and heard enough to age him a century past that.

It was a quietly held opinion of many of the civilians that ninja years were like dog years. Hikari, as a 17 year old civilian, was only now beginning to escape being treated like a child, whilst 12 year old genin were allowed into bars. It was a badly-kept secret that a significant proportion of the "kunoichi classes" were devoted to instilling in the girls how to have safe sex, in missions and out of them. The lessons covered hygiene, contraception, and psychology so that careers would not end prematurely due to the girls growing feelings for clients, falling accidentally pregnant to their usually male team-mates, or any of the other pitfalls that could arise from the new experiences of hormones coupled with lax rules at home and often death-defying missions abroad. Kunoichi had to walk a delicate tight-rope, of exercising self-control, and looking out for when their generally less mature male peers were about to get themselves into trouble. There was a reason after all why there were girls on every genin team.

But the real reason why the genin were allowed such privileges over their civilian peers came down to the simple fact that otherwise, they might not ever enjoy them. Teenagers were known for risk-taking behaviours. In between the permissiveness of the laws concerning child-soldiers ("might as well let the brats take what little pleasure while they still can," was a common sentiment, and it was hard to consider anyone with a thousand yard stare to be still a child, no matter that they still had puppy fat) the universal brutality of the only exam genin could take outside of wartime that would allow them promotion, and the fact that any mission that a shinobi took could easily be their last due to bad intel, bad decisions, or just bad luck, the likelihood of ninja dying or being permanently crippled in their first five years of service was one in three. This had only gotten worse since the legendary medic-nin Tsunade had left, and the general standards of the Konoha Hospital had henceforth dropped noticeably, and so the likelihood of ninja surviving the first five years along with their original genin team-mates was even lower.

So when ninja reached the age of 21, it was more than just marker of coming of age like it was for the civilians. Civilians who turned 21 would often have large parties with their friends and family. Ninja who turned 21 were generally quietly acknowledged as being by default worthy of registering in the bingo books of other nations, regardless of known exploits. Sometimes especially if they had no known exploits. A ninja who had reached 21 without drawing the notice of the various competing intelligence services of the Hidden villages was sometimes either stupidly lucky, or kept close to home due to their lack of skill and/or politics.

But sometimes, it was because they were just that good.

In any case, because of the dangers and stresses of the shinobi way of life, if it was rare for a full genin team to reach the age of 21 and still be at combat efficiency, ("unscathed" was not a word that any one with any sense would apply to a shinobi who had been active for almost a decade,) it was even rarer for them to grow old enough to have grandchildren. That was the other reason why the Hokage was called "the Professor". He had taught the Sannin, and regardless of what personal flaws and strengths that Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru had shown, they would not have become the awe-inspiring ninja they were without their teacher. The Hokage was the rarest type of genius in the ninja world- one that had managed to produce students that had a diverse set of specialisations, and that had managed to live up to the strength of their mentor. That said as much about Sarutobi Hiruzen as it did about his students.

Thus, even if the Hokage was past his prime, there was little doubt the man was a living legend. Not to mention his position as leader of an organisation that routinely organised assassinations, theft and espionage, alongside the innocently innocuous D-ranks that were the public face of shinobi missions.

Hikari, not being a complete idiot, decided to show the old man as much respect as she could muster without feeling like a toady. She respected the Hokage, and was more than happy to show it, but at the same time, her experience with watching civilian/ninja interactions was that ninjas were generally suspicious or contemptuous of obsequiousness. Bowing her head politely, she silently waited for the Sandaime to acknowledge her presence.

She didn't have long to wait.

"Greetings Sorayama Hikari-san. If you could please take a seat, I will be with you in just a moment," the Sandaime Hokage said without looking up as he stamped one of the pieces of paperwork he had laid out in front of him.

Hikari nodded, "Yes Hokage-sama," and moved to drag a chair over from the wall. She figured that the shinobi must usually give their reports standing up, because there were no impressions in the carpet to imply that the chair usually rested in front of the Hokage's desk.

Before she could do so, however, Bull blurred, and then whisked the chair so that it was suddenly in front of her.

Forgetting who she was in front of for a moment, Hikari growled, "Damnit Bull! I could have got it fine for myself."

Bull just shrugged, obviously unapologetic.

Hikari rolled her eyes, and sat down on the chair a little harder than necessary.

It broke beneath her, and then suddenly, she was lying on the floor, in a mess of chair parts.

"Son of a bitch!" she swore, kicking herself free and then levering herself up using the Hokage's desk. At least this time her prosthesis hadn't fallen off, even though her crutch had gone flying.

"Are you Alright Miss Hikari?" Bull suddenly boomed, at her elbow in an instant.

Hikari blinked. She had never heard Bull sound like that before. Normally he was so restrained, and quiet. Had her fall broken his iron control? Why?

Holding onto the edge of the Hokage's desk for support, she checked herself over, fixing her clothes a little as she went.

She shook her head. "It was just a nasty surprise, Bull. I'm fine."

"I am extremely sorry about that."

Hikari jumped. She hadn't even noticed the Hokage move, and he was suddenly right beside her, looking her up and down, before nodding and moving to check the chair.

Looking at the pieces, it was pretty obvious that the chair had been sabotaged- the breaks in the legs had clean saw marks.

The Hokage made a sound of severe annoyance. "That boy..." he grumbled to himself. He looked up at the ceiling, and growled out, "Anbu, report!"

A short Anbu with a green ponytail that matched her Frog mask flipped down from the ceiling.

"Hokage-sama!"

Hikari looked sidelong at the Hokage, and was not surprised to see that his expression was fixed on very unimpressed indeed. She swallowed hard, silently and was glad that she wasn't Frog.

"Could you please explain to me why the chair that I use for visitors and injured shinobi has been sabotaged? Without you, or any of the other Anbu guarding my office noticing?" the Hokage had an expression that suggested it was only his iron control that was preventing him from yelling at one of his elite forces in front of a civilian. Judging by the extreme tension that Hikari could see in Frog's stance, Hikari got the impression that he might as well have.

"..." the Anbu hesitated, before answering, "the only person who has been in your office today without supervision was Uzumaki. But I only took my eyes off him for like five minutes!" the Anbu's words could have been interpreted as whining, but the tone suggested more impressed incredulity. Hikari knew that she was impressed, despite the fact that she was still a bit sore from hitting the floor like that. No kid she'd ever heard of had been able to get one past Anbu like that, especially one that wasn't even out of the Academy yet.

The Hokage face-palmed.

"Oh Naruto..." he groaned. He then looked up and snapped at the Anbu. "Well? What are you waiting for? Bring him here. I want him in front of my desk five minutes ago," he raised one hand as if to wave it in dismissal, but then paused. "Intact. I want him in front of my desk five minutes ago intact." Then he waved dismissively.

The Anbu hesitated for a split second, but then looked at the Hokage and Bull, visibly resisted cringing away from the latter, who had cocked his mask in the way that somehow expressed Well? What are you waiting for, an engraved invitation? and then hastily shunshined away.

The Hokage shook his head, muttering darkly under his breath, before he turned to Hikari, and said, "My apologies, Sorayama-san."

Hikari shrugged. "No harm done. It's not the first time I've hit the ground and it won't be the last." She shook her head a little ruefully, and accepted her crutch back from Bull, who had picked it up for her. "It's not even the first time that kid's knocked me down this week."

The Hokage sighed. "Yes, I did hear about that incident. As I am sure you are aware, your cousin, Council Member Sorayama Wakana, has threatened to file an assault case on your behalf."

Hikari gaped, honestly surprised. "Wait, what?"

The Hokage's gaze sharpened, as he nodded to himself. "So the rumours are true then."

Hikari just stared at him, and then pushed away from the desk, hobbling over to one of the wide windows so that she could lean against the sill, ignoring the hand that Bull offered her for support.

She took a moment to compose herself, considered the last few minutes, and then realised what was going on.

Politics.

She audibly groaned.

The Hokage, and Bull, who had been silently watching her, both looked askance.

Hikari massaged her forehead with one hand. "Okay, so let me see if I've got this straight. This meeting isn't about my business at all. You ninja haven't felt the need to do more than keep an eye on me since I got set up six months ago, and I haven't woken up in some dank cell in the basement of T&I, so obviously I'm not in trouble for something I've done." Hikari took a breath. "On the other hand, the fact that I'm here means that I've gone and stumbled into something important, haven't I? This is about the kid?"

Something in what she had just said made the Hokage's eyebrows raise almost imperceptibly, but he merely nodded.

There was a pause, and then Hikari belatedly realised that the Hokage wanted her to keep going.

"Oh, uh, right. Well since you mentioned 'rumours', then I assume that it's got around that I didn't exactly spit at the poor kid even though he knocked me over. Hell, you probably had some Anbu getting eyewitness reports just out of general policy like, five seconds after it happened."

The Hokage outright laughed. "You overestimate the abilities of Anbu's information gathering."

Hikari just snorted. "Sure I do. Let's both pretend that you don't have Anbu watching the kid 24/7. Let's pretend that you're really that stupid." She looked up and blanched a little at the Hokage's suddenly harsh expression, and the sudden feeling that his chakra was going to crush her. She sank abruptly to the floor, but this time no one made any effort to help her up.

"Explain your statement."

The words were relatively mild, but Hikari had sudden visions of that dank cell in T&I. Shit. Her mother had always told her that her mouth would get her into trouble.

Hikari gasped, trying to refill her lungs with air and raised both hands in the universal gesture of "unarmed civilian here, seriously, I know you could squish me like a bug, but I'd personally prefer if we could both go our merry ways unscathed!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What did I say? Look, obviously you have someone tasked to keep an eye on the kid. I can't say why, obviously, without breaking the law, but you wouldn't have that law there if you weren't trying to keep his... condition secret or something from outsiders. If no one is allowed to bring it up, then Konoha's enemies are less likely to learn about the fact that we've got a... thing I will not be talking about. So on the one hand, this could be just you wanting the kid to live to puberty, on the other, this means that when the kid gets a bit bigger, Konoha's got a secret weapon that our enemies can't be sure that we have. Unless they open their eyes and notice how most people either treat the kid like he's a leper, or are openly hostile, which come to think of it is another good reason to have someone keeping an eye on him." Hikari babbled. "Now, please don't kill me! We can't afford Mum's medicine on just Masaru's genin pay!"

Slowly, the feeling of being crushed ebbed, and Hikari opened eyes that she hadn't even realised she had closed while she cringed.

When all that she heard was silence, she looked up warily.

The Hokage's expression was still blank, but she couldn't help but feel that she was being assessed.

Assessed on what?

Hikari felt a familiar evil presence, and shuddered.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a small orange-clad figure was thrown in. He rolled a little, and hit the Hokage's desk, crumpling with a small moan.

Hikari was shocked for a split second, but when the kid dazedly blinked his eyes open, she saw red.

Ignoring the fact that she was crouched on the floor, Hikari turned to look at the Anbu who had just unceremoniously thrown an eight year old child into a desk, standing to smug attention next to the door like a dog waiting for a pat on the head from Master and a biscuit for being a good girl.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hikari demanded, attempting to struggle to her feet.

She heard a sharp rustle as the Hokage's head suddenly snapped around to stare at her again, but ignored it.

The Anbu, who was still Frog, Hikari noticed, just stared at her through the holes of her mask.

"Seriously," Hikari made it to her feet by hauling herself up by the windowsill, and stood straight, and defiant. "I know violence is what you're trained for but since when do Anbu throw kids into furniture for no apparent reason?"

If Hikari hadn't known better, she would have thought that the Anbu just blinked at her.

"The civilian does make a very good point," drawled the Hokage, his sarcasm especially pointed on the word "civilian". "Please someone correct me if I am wrong, but I am fairly sure I asked you to bring me Naruto intact."

The Anbu's smug attitude vanished.

"We'll be speaking of this later," the Hokage growled. "For now, you are dismissed."

Frog bowed, and then vanished.

Hikari, having regained most of her equilibrium, noticed that the kid was still sitting on the floor looking a little out of it. She hobbled over to him, and poked him with her crutch, avoiding touching him as much as she could.

"Hey kid. You okay?"

The kid shook his head as though to clear it, making his blonde hair flop all over the place. He looked up at Hikari. "Oh hey, you're the lady with the cool fake leg!"

Hikari blinked. No one had ever said her wooden prosthesis was "cool" before.

"Naruto, haven't I told you to be polite to strangers?" the Hokage sighed in exasperation.

"Sure Old Man, but Fake Leg Lady isn't a stranger! We met before!" Bright blue eyes looked innocently up at Hikari, silently asking her to confirm his story, completely missing the point.

Hikari spotted the resigned look on the Hokage's face and snickered.

"You call it like you see it, don't you kid?" Hikari said, ignoring the Hokage's assessing look. Seriously, what was this, a job intervie- wait a second.

"Hang on." Hikari whirled on the Hokage with wide eyes. "No. Uh uh. No. No fucking way, I'm sorry, but I can't do it."

"Can't do what?" the Hokage asked her calmly.

"Whatever it is that you want me to do with the kid, my answer is no. Shit." Hikari ran her fingers through her hair. "Look, I'm sympathetic to the kid's plight and all, but I can't be associated with him any more than I already am. I'm already persona non grata in enough places just because of a rumour. Which admittedly is based on truth, because I don't kick puppies, no matter what they-" Hikari visibly bit back her words, knowing that had she continued, she would have broken the Hokage's decree. The Hokage just watched her, his expression carefully blank. He seemed to have decided to let Hikari talk herself out before he made any proposals.

The kid looked up at her, eyes wide with confusion, and a little dawning hurt.

Hikari winced. And she'd just said that she didn't kick puppies. Apparently she had just made herself a liar, since the "puppy" was apparently smart enough to know when the grown-ups were talking about him.

She turned to the kid, ignoring the Hokage for the moment, and the roiling fear-nausea that rose in her stomach at the feel of the kid's chakra. "Look kid, it's nothing personal, and frankly, it's really unfair, but-"

"Why d'you call me 'kid'?" the kid interrupted her.

Hikari blinked. "Huh?"

"Why do you call me 'kid'?" the kid repeated himself.

Hikari frowned a little. "Uh... because you are one?" she said.

"B-but everyone calls me a demon, or fox-brat, or something... Unless they call me Naruto. Or Uzumaki, but only the Old Man and the Masked People call me that..." the kid trailed off.

Hikari bit her lip. It wasn't that she didn't get exactly where those people were coming from and all, but still, didn't the kid have anyone who treated him like a human being? The Hokage and the Anbu couldn't count- the Hokage, no matter how much he might personally like the kid, would have to be aware of his potential as a weapon and the politics that would surround his every action, whereas the Anbu were almost definitely acting on orders. Even if they weren't, Hikari thought to herself, it wasn't like they'd be allowed to interact with the kid in more than a bare-minimum fashion anyway, since it was well-known that Anbu were supposed to be emotionless tools as soon as they put on the masks. If nothing else, they had a reputation to keep up, but also, Anbu were not supposed to get close to people when they were masked. It was a bad idea for a number of reasons, not the least that they were supposed to be detached and anonymous from their Anbu identities.

Hikari shrugged awkwardly at the kid's question. The kid was looking up at her with those big blue eyes, half-cringing in anticipation of what she might say. Shit. She couldn't stand hanging around him for long without feeling physically ill, but she didn't want to hurt the kid. What could she say?

"Well, I don't know about what everyone else says, but you sure don't look like a demon to me," she eventually stated.

Which was technically true. If only she couldn't feel that chakra... Hikari only barely repressed the urge to back away. The kid's chakra felt vile, like rotten fish and mouldy chilli mixed together with bitumen, and it was only getting worse the longer he stayed.

The kid's eyes widened, and Hikari was appalled to see the beginnings of tears in them. She had just enough time to brace herself before the kid sprang at her and hugged her around the middle.

Hikari froze, and then after a while awkwardly patted the kid on the head as he got snot all over her top from bawling. All she could do was stand there, and try not to pass out from the proximity of the noxious essence of Kyuubi.

She turned to the Hokage, and saw the assessing look had changed slightly. She wasn't sure how to interpret it.

Hikari resisted the visceral urge to shove the kid away. It hadn't even been five minutes since she had thought the ninja leader was about to kill her, and now she had to deal with this? She wondered just how much of this meeting had been a set-up. Maybe the Hokage organised the chair to break just to watch her reaction. Maybe the Anbu was supposed to make the kid look more pathetic, to try and encourage any maternal leanings she usually vehemently denied she had. She wondered if she was just being paranoid.

She wondered just how many problems the jinchuriki being attached to her was going to cause.

Literally as well as figuratively, she thought ruefully, absently rubbing circles on the kid's back with shaking fingers that he didn't seem to notice.

She glared at the Hokage, and was interested to note the mock surprise had shifted into the real thing.

Once the kid had settled down to sniffles, Hikari bent a little and wiped his face with her scarf. Somehow she managed to suppress the trembling of her hands enough that he didn't notice.

"Alright kid. Here's the deal. Me and the 'Old Man' need to have a bit of a discussion about things." Hikari said airily. "It's all boring adult stuff, so you won't be interested."

The kid looked a little disappointed. "Aw man! You're just trying to get rid of me."

Hikari nodded seriously. "Yep." Those damn puppy eyes. Hikari sighed inwardly. "But, I'll catch up with you later. Okay?"

The kid nodded, still looking a little unsure, obviously expecting rejection.

Hikari, having grown up with a little brother, and having listened to the gossip, knew exactly what to do.

"Right, soldier! Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to piss off, and then meet me in three hours at Ichiraku's for ramen! Do you accept?"

The kid suddenly grinned, his whole attitude having done a 180 at the mention of what was well-known to be his favourite eating place. "Yes Ma'am!" he saluted her sloppily, and then ran out the door.

The occupants of the Hokage's office watched the door swing closed, the kid's footsteps becoming quickly distant before it closed completely and all sound from the corridor was cut off.

Hikari had to refrain from letting out an audible sigh of relief.

This time the Hokage looked genuinely surprised, (Hikari wondered why- was it the fact that she knew the jinchuriki's favourite food? Hell, everyone knew that, he yelled about it at the top of his lungs all the time-) but he apparently decided not to comment, as he simply pulled another chair out for Hikari, and then sat back behind his desk.

Hikari sat down cautiously, and when this chair held, she relaxed a little.

"So..." she looked over at the Hokage. "Are you going to let me babble out my conclusions that I've been coming to over the course of this meeting, or are you going to tell me what the hell you actually want from me?"

The Hokage's eyebrows raised to somewhere under his hat.

"Very well," was all he said. "As you seem to have deduced, I want a favour from you, and it concerns Naruto."

Hikari nodded. That much was bleeding obvious by now.

The Hokage paused. "As it turns out, you were not... entirely correct in your assumption that I have Naruto watched at all times by Anbu. For one thing, we have been rather short-handed since the Kyuubi attack. For another..." the Hokage looked a little uncomfortable, "well, I always thought that he would be safe so long as he stayed relatively anonymous, and in the village. Frankly, I did not realise the true extent of the hostility amongst the civilians until recently. I was more worried about outsiders hearing of him. I knew that he had been having some problems, but... I wanted him to have as normal a childhood as possible."

Hikari couldn't help herself. She goggled.

"Are you serious?" the cleaning lady looked the Professor, the Sandaime Hokage in the eye and was horrified by what she saw. He was deadly serious. "Oh Kami help us all, you actually are. Why?"

"I do not have to justify my decisions to a civilian," Hikari flinched at the sudden iron in his voice, "but..." he sighed. "Really, it all comes down to the fact that most of the jinchuriki are well-known for being insane, anti-social weapons, who live and die alone. Naruto is already an orphan. I did not wish to dishonour his parents' sacrifices for letting their child grow up like an attack-dog in a cage. That is a common enough fate for jinchuriki, and the tales I have heard of the results of such treatment are not... palatable. Besides," and here the Hokage's eyes showed every one of their long years, "I knew that like any of our shinobi, if I could instil a love for this village in him, then he would fight that much harder for it when the time comes. And then the people who have scorned him will realise that he might be a jinchuriki, but he's our jinchuriki." He smiled bitterly. "The Yondaime wanted him to be seen as a hero."

Hikari considered the Hokage for a few moments in silence.

Then dropped her face into her hands.

"Shit," she mumbled. Then raised her head again. "Yeah, that makes sense. I don't like it, but when life gives you shit, you need to make fertiliser. Which might smell awful, but it makes the plants grow. Insert Leaf metaphor here."

The Hokage's lips quirked at her choice of words, but simply nodded.

Hikari groaned. "Okay, okay. Tell me what you want from me. You've already shown that you're willing to try and bully me into it."

The Hokage smiled like a benevolent shrine image.

"Ah, but I prefer willing acquiescence. After all, you've seen what happens when I try to order civilians to act a certain way. My shinobi have spoilt me, as the Code states that they must give their Hokage and Village complete, unquestioning loyalty. So even when they disagree, they will at least follow orders. Civilians..." the Hokage grimaced in distaste. "As much as my position is respected, if civilians do not like an order, they are more likely to either creatively interpret it, or actively look for the loopholes. It is why clanless ninja tend to do so well in diplomacy."

"Well that explains why it's not just the Yamanaka and Akimichi being sent on so many high-profile above-board missions," Hikari mused, half to herself. The Hokage shot her a look, and Hikari flinched, before saying, "what? They're both clans that have the most positive dealings with civilians. The Uchiha are too busy with the police, and even if they weren't, they have a tendency towards sneering at civilians. Don't even get me started on the Main Branch Hyuuga- anyone willing to treat more than half of their own family members like dirt shouldn't be let anywhere near diplomacy. Besides, if you believe the rumours and look at Hatake 'Sharingan' Kakashi, if things went sour, both those families have harvestable eyes. Enough said. The Aburame have the kikai beetles, which tend to unnerve most people, and the Inuzuka like to make people think that they're all barbarians. Which you know, is not so bad if you don't mind about manners, but as diplomatic representatives? Puh-lease." Hikari paused. "You know, you are really good at making me babble Hokage-sama. I'm going to shut up now."

The Sandaime Hokage just stared at her for a few moments, before shaking his head. "You seem to have thought about this for a while," was all he said.

Hikari rubbed the back of her head nervously. "Oh heheh, well you know, I have a lot of time to think when I'm cleaning. Not much else to do while my hands are tied up with scrubbing."

The Hokage cleared his throat. "Indeed. In any case, we are getting off topic. Now, I do not often make this offer to civilians, but I would be willing to give you B-rank pay, for a highly unofficial mission."

Hikari had a bad feeling about this.

"What I wish for you to do will require you to spend a significant amount of time with Naruto..."

Bad feeling justified.

The Hokage continued on, explaining that this was all part of his plan to cause Naruto to be more civilian-friendly. It wasn't that Hikari didn't sympathise with him, but this was not going to happen.

"Hokage-sama," she finally interrupted him.

"Yes?" The Hokage took being interrupted by a civilian surprisingly well. Or at least he seemed to. Hikari decided to take that at face value, at least for the moment.

"I can't do it," she said.

"What do you mean you can't do it?" the Hokage sounded unimpressed. Hikari decided to quickly elaborate.

"It's not that I mistake the bowl for the sake, or the plant for the pot- pick your own analogy. But that chakra..." Hikari stopped restraining herself and shuddered violently. Once she had started, she couldn't stop, and before she knew it, she was crying. She saw a sudden, aborted movement in the corner of her eye, and realised it was Bull. She had almost forgotten he was even there, since he had been working hard to melt into the shadows.

"...You're chakra sensitive?" the Hokage sounded incredulous.

Hikari sniffled, and looked up. "Sensitive?" She had no idea what he was talking about.

"You can feel other's chakra?" the Hokage sounded surprised about something that Hikari had been able to do all of her life.

"Uh, yeah? Can't everyone?" she asked rhetorically, as she could see from the Hokage's expression that in fact, no, no they couldn't. Hikari was surprised, both at herself having a skill that was unusual, and at the fact that none of the ninja whose houses she had cleaned had thought to mention that her being able to detect traps by their chakra signatures was anything out of the ordinary. She said as much to the Hokage, and he turned to look at Bull, eyebrows raised.

"Bull, you said she's cleaned your house before. Why didn't you report this to me?" the Hokage demanded.

"Had not ascertained how she did it, sir!" Bull answered promptly, posture rigid.

The Hokage frowned. "Why didn't you just ask her?" he asked.

Bull paused, and Hikari noted a distinctive sheepish vibe coming from him. "There were bets riding on it, sir. It was decided that asking Miss Hikari outright would be cheating, sir."

The Hokage looked like he was visibly restraining himself from hitting his head on the desk.

"Of course," he muttered. He turned his attention back to Hikari, who was still looking decidedly unhappy, but calmer, as she had regained her composure whilst they were talking.

"You were in the Academy before you lost the leg," the Hokage stated.

"Ye-es..." Hikari was unsure where he was going with that statement. She was sure he must know this, it was public record after all, and judging by this meeting, she was sure he would have checked her dossier.

"What a waste," muttered the Hokage, shaking his head. "You know, most people can't actually feel a jinchuriki's chakra unless they're actively channelling it," he said conversationally. "Those who can have often spent years training their chakra detection skills."

"What?" Hikari stared at him, shocked. "But, but, most of my family can feel him!"

The Hokage blinked thoughtfully, and then pulled out his pipe and lit it.

"Well," he said, considering. "That would explain why your cousin has always been so adamant that Naruto is a menace to society." He shook his head, and took a puff of his pipe. "That also explains why you were shaking when he got close to you." The Hokage was staring at her as though Hikari had grown an extra head.

Hikari shifted a little uneasily under the scrutiny.

"Can your brother sense chakra like you can?" he asked her.

Hikari shrugged. "I assume so," she said. " We've never really talked about it. You'd have to ask him."

The Hokage picked up a pen and scribbled a note, muttering something about there needing to be a better screening test for the children from civilian families who entered the Academy.

"Very well then," the Hokage said finally. "If you cannot spend time with Naruto without experiencing physical discomfort, then I can hardly force you into proximity with him." Neither he nor Hikari bothered to note that actually, yes, yes he could, but the Hokage's plan would not work without Hikari's complete cooperation, and she could have caused problems in a number of ways, starting with visibly not being enthusiastic to be in Naruto's presence, and ending with her appealing to her connections with the Civilian Council. The Hokage wryly acknowledged the first of these options by saying, "I must commend you on your acting skills, as he did not seem to realise how much you wished to avoid touching him, but above that, I must commend you for treating him like a child. Both I and Naruto have noted your insistence in referring to him as a 'kid'. What's the real reason?" he asked her with a knowing expression.

Hikari snorted. "With all due respect Hokage, anyone who can spend more than five seconds in the company of that kid and not realise that he really is just a kid is a waste of oxygen, as it obviously isn't going to their braincells. Just because being near him causes me discomfort doesn't mean my eyes are shut..." she sighed. "But you are right. I refer to him as 'the kid' to remind myself. I can't help what I feel when he is near, but neither can he, and so I remind myself, constantly."

The Hokage merely nodded, and Hikari was glad that he accepted her answer.

"Very well," said the Hokage. "Would you at least be willing to spend very brief periods of time with Naruto in order to teach him some life skills? He has recently moved from the orphanage into an apartment, and it has come to my attention that he does not know how to look after it, or himself."

Hikari nodded wearily. "I'll give him a lecture and a demonstration or two, and I'll clean his apartment for him once a week until he learns if you pay me, but if I'm tired or unprepared, the best I can give him is a smile and a wave from across the street."

The Hokage nodded. "That is more than I could have expected. Thank you Sorayama-san, and may your business continue to thrive."

Hikari took that as the dismissal it was meant to be, standing quietly and bowing. "This meeting was about the confidentiality agreement?" she asked politely.

The Hokage nodded. "That would be appreciated."

Hikari hobbled out of the office, Bull opening and then holding the door for her. She nodded thanks to him, and then she was gone.

The Hokage leaned back in his chair, sitting in silence for a few moments as he digested all that he had just learned.

"Well, there goes that plan," he sighed. He gestured for Bull to come and stand in front of him.

"Bull, report."

"Hokage-sama, sir!" Bull stood at attention. "As rumoured, Sorayama Hikari is working to buy expensive medication for her mother. She and her family live in a modest home, with few luxuries. In my personal opinion, I doubt Sorayama Akira will survive another year."

The Hokage nodded. That was congruent with the reports of the rookie Anbu he had assigned to double-check the background of the young civilian. "And your impressions of this meeting?" the Hokage asked.

Bull hesitated. The Hokage restrained himself from showing surprise. Bull rarely, if ever hesitated about anything.

Eventually Bull said, "I believe that my feelings may have become biased when it comes to Miss Hikari, sir."

This time the Hokage didn't bother to cover his bemusement.

"How so?" he asked.

"This meeting merely confirmed my suspicions," Bull stated, "that Miss Hikari is a kind, considerate, intelligent lady, with a strength of will that exceeds that of many shinobi." He shifted a little. "As I have watched her over the past months, she has persevered, never giving up, and when she has hit obstacles she has overcome them with great ingenuity." The Anbu looked out the window and mused in a distinctly dreamy fashion, "she truly is a most beautiful Bougainvillea..."

The Hokage just about fell out of his chair. He had never seen Bull act in a less than professional manner like this. His non-masked alter ego on the other hand...

"Gai, are you in love with her?" the Hokage asked, flabberghasted.

Bull removed his mask, revealing Maito Gai's face in an expression that the Hokage had never seen before- extremely sheepish.

"I didn't mean to?" he offered lamely, before wincing and standing to attention. "I apologise for such a lapse in professionalism, however I had not realised the depth of my feelings until today. I nearly broke cover to comfort a civilian- worse, a civilian that I was tasked to perform surveillance on, and so I can only say that I will complete 600 one-handed push-ups with a boulder tied to my feet alongside any disciplinary actions you choose, sir."

The Hokage stared at one of his more idiosyncratic shinobi for a few moments, before waving his hand in dismissal. "Don't worry about it Gai. You were... sufficiently restrained that I doubt Sorayama-san noticed anything. Dismissed."

Gai replaced his mask and returned to the persona of Bull. He bowed once, quietly, respectfully and then shunshined away.

Left alone in his office, the Hokage waited thirty seconds, and then gave in to the gales of laughter he had been holding in.

Maito Gai in love? Sarutobi hoped that Sorayama Hikari was as formidable as Gai seemed to think she was, because she was about to get quite a rude shock.


	8. Big Mouth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Hikari should perhaps have been a little more discreet, but that's okay, because people have her back.

Chapter 8: Big Mouth

It was perhaps a week after Hikari had been escorted to her meeting with the Hokage that she began to notice a sudden certain increase of green blurs around her.

Well. It would be green blur singular, as there was only one Green Beast of Konoha ("thank Kami," more than one Konoha nin was heard to mutter under their breath), except for the fact that all of a sudden, Gai seemed to have picked her as reference point for completing his many, many laps around Konoha.

Hikari wasn't sure if he had always been so present about the place and she just hadn't noticed (it seemed unlikely, but green spandex and sparkly teeth and Yelling About Youth aside, it was still possible, he was a ninja after all), or if he was using accumulated leave (this was actually closer to the truth) but her Maito Gai sightings had increased fivefold.

She mentioned as much in passing to her younger brother, Masaru, and he looked distinctly unnerved.

"I know what you mean," he said, shuddering a little. "I'd heard rumours about him before, but I saw him three times last week, and then he came up to talk to my team out of the blue."

Hikari raised her eyebrows. "What's with the shuddering?" she asked him, giving his shoulder a light push. "He's not that bad. I mean he's a little loud and all, but at least he's friendly."

Masaru just looked at her incredulously. "Sis, are you serious? That guy is completely out of his tree. He makes training nuts cry into their spandex, and he does it while yelling out all those weird things about Youth!" Hikari tried not to laugh when she heard the capital letter, but Masaru noticed anyway. "It's not funny! Have you ever been caught in his creepy sunset genjutsu?"

This time Hikari didn't bother to stifle her laughter. "Oh come on Masaru, that's just funny. A sunset can't hurt you. And he picked a pretty one to base it off at least. All he does is use it as a backdrop for him to give a thumbs up and a grin when he's trying to be all dramatic." He had only used the genjutsu on her once, when she had been talking to Hatake Kakashi about the finer points of keeping dust off of bookshelves, and Hikari was pretty sure her inclusion had been largely unintentional. She'd started giggling at the silly poses that Gai had been putting on, and she could have sworn his grin had wavered for a split second before he'd abruptly dropped the sunset and rushed off, yelling something about doing a thousand hand-stand push-ups balancing an Akimichi.

Masaru groaned. "Are you serious? I asked around after I got caught in it, and couldn't break out. Apparently no one can break out of it. Even Uchiha."

This did make Hikari pause for a moment. The Sharingan was known for many things, but one of the more well-known traits was the ability to be able to see through genjutsu. For the Sharingan to be useless against Gai's sunset, he must be extremely adept at genjutsu, or at least that genjutsu. An interesting skill for someone who was ostensibly a taijutsu specialist... Hikari nearly said as much to Masaru, but could see that he was in no mood to analyse, judging by the faces he was pulling.

So she just shrugged at him. Foolish little brothers. She decided to tease him instead.

"Not my problem, I'm just a civilian, and I'm hardly about to get into a fight with him. Besides, what's wrong with elite ninja of Konoha having strong techniques? I don't hear anyone complaining about the Hyuuga being probably able to see through everyone's clothes. Gai's sunset doesn't hurt any comrades, so I don't see the problem."

Masaru gaped at her.

"W-what?!"

Hikari blinked at him. "What, 'what'?"

"The Hyuuga can see through clothing!?" Masaru seemed gobsmacked. Hikari wasn't sure whether to be concerned or amused.

"Well obviously. If they can spot a missing nin on a dark night through trees and mist from a kilometre away, why would a few millimetres of cloth stop them?"

"Yes, but most people once they clue in are polite enough to pretend that they don't know."

Hikari startled so badly that she nearly dropped her crutch.

She whirled around, and felt the blood drain from her cheeks. Vaguely, she registered Masaru letting out a surprised quickly bitten-off swear-word.

To the left, standing in his habitual slouch was the head of the Nara household. He was the one who had spoken, and his face was in its usual inscrutable "lazy" mask.

To the right was Hyuuga Hiashi, head of the Hyuuga clan. He looked pissed.

Masaru stepped forward, and opened his mouth to say something, but he was silenced by a dismissive glare from the Hyuuga, before he rounded on Hikari, letting her feel the full force of his killing intent. She could hardly breathe it was so smothering.

"M-my ap-pologies Hyuuga-s-sama," Hikari gasped. "I didn't mean any disrespect."

Hyuuga Hiashi glared at her for ten of the longest seconds of Hikari's life, before a familiar green blur suddenly appeared in between them.

"Yosh! A Staring Competition! How Youthful! Mind if I Join in?" Gai exclaimed with even more exuberance than normal.

Hikari could have sworn she heard Nara Shikaku fail to stifle a snort, but was grateful for the reprieve all the same, attempting to stifle her sigh of relief even as she knew that the ninja could probably smell the fear-sweat on her or something. The Hyuuga's killing intent was not as bad as the Hokage's, but that was like saying that falling from halfway up a ladder wasn't as bad as falling off a house.

If you landed badly, both could get you killed.

The Hyuuga, if anything, looked even more annoyed now that Gai had shown up, but now his attention was on the spandex-clad Green Beast rather than Hikari. He stared at him balefully for a few moments, before turning away with a huff of irritation, loudly stating that he had a meeting with the Hokage to get to, and did not have time to be wasted by irreverent cleaning ladies.

Shikaku merely nodded to Gai, Hikari and Masaru, and followed lazily in the Hyuuga's wake.

Hikari managed to wait until they had rounded the corner before her leg collapsed beneath her in relief, and she found herself sitting on the ground.

"Hikari!" Masaru moved towards her, but he was beaten by a green blur, who scooped Hikari up, crutch and all.

"My Most Beauteous Bougainvillea are you Quite Alright?" Gai asked. "Just Say The Word and I shall..."

Hikari placed her hand over Gai's mouth.

"Not next to my ear, please Gai," she winced. "And put me down. I'm fine."

She felt his lips twitch under her palm, and then he placed her gently on her foot.

"Thank you," she said, positioning her crutch for balance and trying to ignore the sensation of a small bird fluttering in her stomach. "I mean it. I'm sorry I opened my big fat civilian mouth so you had to come rescue me."

"Any time."

She looked up, and her breath caught. Darkly-lashed brown eyes looked deeply, intensely into hers, and for a moment Hikari wondered if time hadn't frozen.

"Yeah, thanks Gai-sempai," the sound of her younger brother's voice brought Hikari back to reality. "I really thought Hyuuga-sama was going to lose it then. And that killing intent..." Masaru shuddered. "I wasn't even the focus of it and I was nearly knocked flat, and I've been training to increase my pain threshold since the Hokage figured we're both chakra sensitive. Hikari..."

"Shut it Masaru," Hikari interrupted, but she said it without heat. "It hurt, but I'll live."

"Hiashi has no sense of humour," a deep alto voice chimed in. They all turned to see a woman with the red-tattooed cheeks and fur-lined coat of an Inuzuka.

"Oh hey Mimi," Hikari recognised one of her regular customers and leapt on the chance to change the subject. "I've got your place slated for next Thursday at about 2. That still fine?"

"Sure thing, Hikari. I have a three day mission coming up but I'll be back by then. I just came over to say I heard the whole thing." Inuzuka Mimi bared her teeth, displaying fang-like canines. "And if that stuffy Hyuuga gives you shit, you call on me, or any of the Inuzuka, and we'll sort it out for you. You didn't say anything that wasn't true, and I know you didn't mean any offense by it. I'll let Tsume know what the deal is. She'd love to take a bite out of that snobby bastard's -"

"Yosh! Such Youthful Defense of my Beautiful Bougainvillea!" Gai butted in. "If I cannot protect Hikari from that Unyouthful Hyuuga's wrath I shall train in the Forest of Death covered in Pig's Blood!"

Hikari wasn't sure if she wanted to blush over Gai's insistence on calling her a beautiful flower (albeit one with vicious thorns), or laugh at his outrageous (but judging by what she had seen of his insane training regime no doubt true) forfeit.

Fortunately, Masaru distracted her.

"Thank you both," he said a little awkwardly, but making an effort to look both Gai and Mimi in the eye. "I know I'm supposed to be the one protecting my sister as the shinobi in the family, but I'm still only a genin. If either of you ever need a favour from the Sorayama clan, you can consider it done."

Mimi shrugged. "Hikari's one of my favourite civilians. She managed to get my old flat cleaned up enough that I got my bond back, which I was never expecting when I moved in with Meko. It meant that I could buy her a really nice charm for her bracelet for our third anniversary. Don't sweat it kid. Even if I hadn't heard the whole thing, I'm pretty sure Nara would have stepped in before things got rough. If only because his friend Akimichi would give him shit for not protecting his clan-member-in-law."

Masaru nodded. "Maybe. Maybe Hyuuga might have remembered that it's the Sorayamas that provide his clan with the best prices on bleach to keep all those robes pristine white, and that we've got ties to pretty much every merchant in Konoha, and quite a few in wider Fire Country." He smiled grimly, an odd expression on the face of a fourteen year old. Then again, he wasn't a civilian, so it wasn't the first time this expression had been there. "Just for the scare he gave my sister, his household accounts are going to be looking distinctly less healthy for the foreseeable future."

Mimi raised her brows slightly. Sometimes she forgot that shinobi clans weren't the only ones who knew how to make life inconvenient for a person.

"But still, it was good of you both to step in."

Gai jumped into a thoughtful pose. "Well, if that is the case Young Brother of Hikari, then would it be Alright with you if I were to Buy your sister Lunch?"

Hikari's jaw dropped. "Are you..." she trailed off and stared at Konoha's Legendary Green Beast in bewilderment. "Are you asking me on a date?"

Large even white teeth sparkled in the sunshine as Gai nodded yes.

Hikari blushed.

Mimi blinked, and then grinned. And she'd thought the confrontation between the Sorayama siblings and Hyuuga Hiashi was going to be prime gossip. The Green Beast and the little Civilian Cleaner? That was Gold. Possibly Comedy Gold. She would definitely be keeping both ears open for developments in this!

Masaru seemed to need time to process Gai's question. His expression blanked, but the ninja both noticed the not-so-subtle crack of his knuckles as he opened and closed one of his fists. Then he beamed.

"Okay Gai. You can take my sister out."

"Hey!" protested Hikari. "What about my opinion? Isn't anyone going to ask me how I feel about this?"

Masaru snorted rudely. "Like you were about to say no. I saw that blush."

Hikari opened her mouth to protest, and then closed it, fuming. Stupid little brothers.

Gai however took her seriously. "I am Most Sorry Miss Hikari. I will do One Thousand Upside-Down Jumping Jacks on the rail of a bridge-"

Hikari put her hand over his mouth again, silencing him.

"No you're not." Gai immediately opened his mouth to protest, but Hikari shook her head no. "I wasn't that offended, and you've offered to buy me lunch, so you are going to be far too busy with that to go and do jumping jacks. I feel like yakisoba. How does the Black Duck sound?"

Gai's usual blinding beam increased in wattage.

"It sounds great," he said quietly, causing Masaru and Mimi to conduct a double-take.

"Shall we then?" if Hikari seemed unbothered by Gai's quietness, then it was mostly due to the fact that she had heard him speak in that tone before. Usually when he was being serious, and that was generally reserved for when he had the Bull Mask on.

Oh yeah, she totally knew he was Bull. Most shinobi were well-muscled, but few were quite as solid as Gai, especially considering the extreme lengths he went to attain his strength. That was just the visual clue that had confirmed what her chakra sense had told her. After she was asked to clean Bull's kitchen, what had been obvious to her before became almost embarrassingly obvious. She couldn't imagine there were many shinobi who had quite the same amount of fondness that Gai had for tree-frog green. She hadn't even known you could get lino and counters in that colour.

Gai offered his arm, but Hikari just smiled and started hobbling ahead of him. Gai shrugged and followed just behind her.

Mimi and Masaru watched the odd pair, the short limping figure of Hikari, in her drab, sensible clothes and headscarf, and the comparatively almost hulking figure of Gai in his habitual green spandex under his shinobi vest.

Masaru looked over at Mimi. "I guess that explains why he wanted to talk to my team the other day."

Mimi grinned back at him. "I'm thinking this explains why he's been whizzing all over the village lately." She nodded as the pair turned a corner and moved out of sight. "I wouldn't worry about your sister. He's a bit weird, but he's got a good reputation, and when he's in the green, he's pretty famous for being pretty much completely forthright."

Masaru nodded. "I know. Still. She's my sister. I know she's older, but I still want to watch out for her. If Gai hurts her, jonin or not, he's going to regret it, whether it's soon after or ten years down the track."

The words sounded naïve, but Mimi could tell by his steely expression that he meant every word of it.

"You Sorayamas might be a civilian clan, but you aren't soft, are you?" she asked, mostly rhetorically.

Masaru answered her anyway. "We might be a clan of civilians, but we're a clan of civilians who decided to set-up shop in a Hidden Village, back when it was just being formed. We didn't come here for the protection, we came here for the business. Something you shinobi clans seem to miss about the Old Civilian Families," Mimi could hear the capitals in that phrase, "is that we didn't get where we were by being nice. In fact, it's only in the last two generations that the Sorayamas have stopped hiring ninja to kill off business rivals."

At that, Mimi's eyebrows shot up. Well shit. That maybe explained a few things.

"Now," Masaru continued, "we're powerful enough that we don't have to, we can call in enough favours that 'a peaceful solution amenable to all parties' can be found." He shrugged. "We're merchants. According to samurai, we're the lowest of the low, and without honour. But you know what?" he grinned, "They say the same thing about ninja, and now look at who's on top."

Mimi cocked her head. She'd never quite thought of it like that before, but she supposed she could see the parallels. She said as much, whilst considering the kinds of missions that she knew were completed in 'peacetime'. Sure, there were the usual D-ranks that were basically glorified chores that were supposed to encourage team-work and promote skills that could be used for covers, but there was also a lot of industrial espionage, secrets stealing, blackmail, extortion, sabotage... not to mention the occasional rabble-rousing and covert regime toppling. Violence in that sort of mission was always a last resort, but it hardly made the goals in them nice.

Masaru nodded as he saw her dawning comprehension. "You'll see the parallels if Hiashi decides to try anything further. This time we'd let it slide because it was Hikari who started it, intentionally or not, but if he decides to continue the matter..." Mimi couldn't help but notice the 'we' that Masaru kept using. He wasn't talking about himself as a shinobi getting revenge, he was talking about his family as civilians getting revenge. Though now that he had illuminated a little family history for her, this made a lot more sense. "Anyone who hurts Hikari, or any other member of my family is going to learn the Sorayama family's unofficial motto."

Mimi didn't bother to resist making the obvious response to that. "So what is the unofficial motto of the Sorayamas then?"

"'Beware the fury of the patient.' Or," he grinned, " as Hikari explained to me when I was six, 'Run from a bully when he's awake, then cover him in maggots while he's sleeping'." He looked at his watch. "I've got to get back to my team. Later."

As Inuzuka Mimi watched the kid run off, she couldn't help but wonder if that had been a warning for her to pass out to the village at large.


	9. Dining with the Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hikari has a meal with Gai, Much To the Fascination of All and Sundry.
> 
> Bonus Omake by shirokunomokona

Chapter 9: Dining With the Beast

The Black Duck was a place that Hikari had been inside a few times, mostly with her Uncle Daiki. It was a cute little slightly upmarket noodle bar that was a favourite for civilians and off-duty ninja alike. The civilians liked the décor, and the friendly wait-staff. The ninja liked the fact that it was easy to position oneself so that one could see all the entrances/exits, and you could see the food being prepared.

Both liked the food, which was mostly dry noodles (Ichiraku Ramen had the noodle-soup market in Konoha pretty well cornered, regardless of how some felt about their tacit approval of the jinchuriki).

It wasn't run by the Akimichi, but Hikari was pretty sure they were silent partners, because though there had been talk of it shutting down a while ago, it had instead undergone a little refurbishment, and then voila! The clientele had become more diverse, the food had improved somewhat, and the previously slightly poky space had been lightened and made more open-plan.

The entry that she and Gai made was not a dynamic one, but nonetheless, Hikari could feel the eyes of almost everyone on them as they stepped through the door.

A chubby waitress quickly skipped over to them.

"Hi! Will it be a table for two today? Oh it's you Hikari, my, I haven't seen you in ages!" the waitress burbled.

Hikari blinked, and then recognised the waitress as Honda Sadako, a classmate who she hadn't seen in a few years. That had been slightly deliberate on Hikari's part, because though Sadako specifically mean-spirited, she was not particularly bright, and one of the worst gossips in the whole village. Hikari already knew that even people who didn't habitually keep their ears to the ground were going to hear that she'd been out with Gai.

If she was lucky, she'd be able to get home before Aunt Noriko went running to her mother to tell her that Hikari was engaged or something.

"Hi Sadako. Have you lost weight? You look good." Polite compliments were always better when they were true.

Sadako beamed, and then before Hikari knew it, she and Gai had both been seated in a quiet corner. Hikari was mildly interested to note that Sadako ushered her into the chair facing away from the door without any prompting. It would seem that whoever ran this place made sure that the wait-staff knew how to set the ninja at ease.

Hikari lowered herself into the seat and then carefully settled her crutch against the wall. She had had enough incidents in earlier years that she now never assumed people would see it and not trip over it.

They ordered food, neither of them looking at the menu as both had been to the Black Duck enough to know what they liked, and then Hikari settled back to regard her shinobi companion.

He had yet to speak a direct word to her since she had half-dragged him away to lunch, but considering the bright smile wreathing his face, Hikari was fairly sure that Gai was not annoyed with her.

Still, she thought that she should maybe apologise for how abrupt she had been before.

"Sorry I made you stop like that," she began to say, "honestly, I really don't-"

"That is Quite Alright," Gai said, hanging his head slightly. "I am told I can be a Bit Much, especially when I start to Go On About Youth!" His grin had the usual sparkle, but was a little sheepish.

Hikari shook her head. "No, that's not what I was saying. I don't really mind that much when you get all excited. I find it kinda refreshing actually," she smiled and Gai's jaw actually dropped a little. "I mean," she bit her lip a little, "you just meet so many people in this village, especially ninja, who just take everything so very seriously all the time. It's nice to see someone like you who not only takes pride in what he does, but finds joy in it. I mean, I've always thought hard work is its own reward, but you take that to whole new levels!"

Gai was more than a little startled. He had never heard anyone describe his over-exuberance in such positive terms before. Still, he was not so startled that he didn't notice that he wasn't the only one surprised to hear Hikari say that. Every ninja in the place and most of the civilians were listening eagerly to their conversation. Gai wondered if it might not have been a better idea to have taken Hikari somewhere more private... but no, that would probably have been misconstrued, and he refused to have the Reputation of his Beautiful Bougainvillea Impugned by Foul Busybodies.

Especially now that he had discovered that she Understood.

Hikari smiled wider and tilted her head to one side. "Did you know that when you're thinking really hard you wear almost every thought on your face?"

Gai, despite being a hardened jounin and ANBU to boot, blushed.

"SOOOOO CUUUUUTE!"

Hikari and Gai spun to see a pair of beaming female chunin, as well as Sadako, who had their noodles on a tray.

Hikari rolled her eyes. Gai just beamed and jumped into a standing position. "Indeed! My Beautiful Bougainvillea is Very Cute! And Smart and Pretty and So Very Hard-Working!" He grinned and lifted his thumb in a thumbs up. "

The chunin were now gaping a little. Whoa. That was a little intense.

Hikari just snorted. "Stop it Gai, you'll make me blush."

"And Modest Too!"

Now Hikari was most definitely growing a little rosy about the cheeks. Sadako winked at her, mouthing "nice catch" (completely un-ironically, Sadako was nice like that,) as she put down their plates, conveniently giving Hikari an excuse to get Gai back down.

"Gai. Sit down and eat your noodles," she said firmly, her grin taking the sting out of the words. She wasn't embarrassed by his behaviour, but she could see they were disturbing some of the other diners. They were already the centre of attention for most of the noodle bar, (she might be a civilian, but she was neither blind nor stupid,) the last thing she needed was for them to get kicked out for making a scene.

Gai just shrugged and smiled and sat himself down.

The chunin were still just standing there, looking distinctly like landed koi.

To Hikari's vast amusement, Gai turned to them, and whispered "boo!"

Apparently that was enough for them to remember that Gai was a jounin, as the two of them "eeped" and skittered off.

"So," said Hikari in between mouthfuls of noodles. "What's the bet that the Hokage already knows we're out on a date?"

Gai snickered. "If he didn't know before we got here, I'd say his gossip network is slipping."

Hikari sighed. "Typical. Kami, my mother probably already knows about this, and she hasn't been out of the house in more than a year."

"How is she doing, by the way?" Gai asked, concerned.

Hikari shook her head solemnly. "Not good. She's fading, and there's not a lot we can do about it. The med-nin we consulted said Tsunade might have been able to help her in the early days, but now?" she shrugged a little helplessly. "My mother is dying. I'm just glad that the money from my cleaning is enough to buy the medicine that keeps her comfortable. Her doctor says she probably has an extra six months because of the medicine, but she won't get better." Hikari's eyes filled with tears, but she made her best effort to blink them back. "Sorry," she apologised when she saw the horrified expression on Gai's face. "I'm still getting used to the idea."

She looked down, and then a large callused hand cupped her face. She looked up to see Gai looking intensely at her.

"Don't apologise," he said quietly. "I myself lost my parents many years ago. I know that it is hard."

Hikari smiled wanly. "It is." She looked down at her plate.

"Hikari."

She looked up again, and was met with Gai's direct gaze. "If you ever need to talk..."

Hikari's smile became a little more genuine. "You'll be near the top of my list."

Gai accepted that. It was, after all, only a first date. At the top of her list could be a work in progress.

"So," he said, changing the subject. "Would you like to get icecream? The place down the way has Most Youthful Flavours!"

This caused Hikari to burst into giggles. "'Most Youthful Flavours'?" she quoted, mocking him slightly. "How can a flavour be Youthful?"

"Ah! Well then if you do not know, it will have to be a Surprise!"

Hikari shook her head. "Alright then Gai. But I'm getting those. You said you would buy me lunch, you didn't say anything about dessert. Ah!" she held up one hand as he started to protest. "Don't even think about arguing. Now hurry up and pay so you can show me these Youthful Flavours."

As Gai called for the bill, and Hikari carefully manoeuvred herself out of her chair, the two chunin who had interrupted the date were being interrogated by Genma in an alleyway just around the corner.

"So?" he asked, sweeping his senbon from one side of his mouth to the other. "What do you girls think?"

The chunin, who happened to be sisters from the civilian Tanaka family named Akiko and Matsuri both smiled.

"They're absolutely gaga for each other," Akiko said shaking her head slightly.

"They are so adorable!" Matsuri squealed. "He is completely smitten with her, and she doesn't seem to mind his uh... eccentricities. " Genma ignored the slight hesitation before the word. Eccentric, was, after all, one of the nicer words he heard to describe Gai by people who did not know him well. "She reined him in a few times when he was getting... loud... but she was nice about it, and I think if they were alone she wouldn't have bothered," Matsuri continued.

"Thanks girls," he said, and handed over a dango coupon. "As agreed."

The sisters smiled and promptly left.

Genma leaned back against the alley wall and frowned thoughtfully, idly playing with a senbon needle. It would seem that his old team-mate might have actually found a decent one this time.

He smiled. Good for Gai. If she continued to make him happy, then he had no problems with Hikari Sorayama dating his old team-mate.

…...

 

Omake by shirokunomokona

"Hiashi! What is the meaning of this. I hear you had used killing intent towards a civilian"  
"The lowly civilian had insulted the Hyuuga's good name and appearance."  
"Yes well the 'lowly civilian' is a Sorayama"  
"That clan is but filled with civilians if a few ninjas. They are of no importance"  
"Damn it! This is why I hate the younger generations. You fool! Sorayamas know more to the ninja motto, 'attack from the shadows' than most ninjas do. Don't look at me like that! They may be civilians but they are of the Old Civilian Families. You don't snub them, ever! Dirty fighting is in their blood."  
"You forget, elder, we are the most noble of the clans in Konoha, now that the Senju and Uchiha is all but one, dead. We do not need to gravel to other clans and treat them better than they are."  
"I forget nothing! You have only focused on the ninja clans! The Old Civilian Families are the ones who founded Konoha along with the Uchiha and Senju. They were the ones who provided the financial support for the city to even stand! Not to metion even if she weren't of the Old Civilian Families she is still a civilian. According to the founding treaty and the laws that were placed by the Hokage civilians are not meant to be harmed. The Uchihas had enforced this over the years evolving into a police force later in the years, but now that they are gone you think you can just attack a civilian!"  
"I did no such thing. I did not raise my hand against a civilian."  
"Killing intent is the same thing as threatening! You are lucky she did not report this. Or maybe that would have been preferable, considering our bills from the civilian merchants are increasing daily. Not to mention any food from the Akimichi's have also suddenly increased."  
"What!"  
"Fix this, Hiashi. Now."


	10. Sad Tidings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Canon affects the lives of civilians in a significant fashion.

Chapter 10: Sad Tidings

As it turned out, the icecream part of Gai and Hikari's date had to be delayed, as as soon as they stepped outside the noodle bar, an Anbu appeared before them and handed Gai a scroll, before discretely vanishing into what looked suspiciously to Hikari's civilian eyes like thin air.

Hikari watched as the exuberant Gai she had seen just moments before sobered into a quieter sort of intensity. He finished reading the scroll, and turned to her.

She just shook her head when he opened his mouth. "Let me guess. Urgent mission, you have to go five minutes ago, Konoha needs you?" she smiled wryly as he bared his teeth in an expression that was not exactly happy.

To his credit, Gai did not look exactly like his sparkliest self either.

"Right on All Counts, my Beautiful Bougainvillea," Gai said, tucking the scroll into his kunai pouch and studying his feet.

Hikari sighed. "Can you tell me when you'll be back?" she asked him.

Gai's grimace deepened as he shook his head.

Hikari had however been expecting this, and so inhaled slowly and managed to contain her disappointment.

"Typical," was all she said.

Gai's heart felt like it had sunk into his sandals. Did she hold the fact that he had to go and do his duty against him?

"It's a conspiracy," Hikari tilted her head to one side and tried to smile. "Just when I get a date, the universe conspires to ensure that you have to leave half-way through. I swear, I just have the worst luck sometimes."

Maybe not. Gai's heart rose a little.

"Yosh! I Will Make This Up To You if it is the Last Thing I Do My Most Precious Bougainvillea!" Gai exclaimed, punching the air above his head.

Hikari bit her lip to prevent herself from bursting into giggles, and tossed her head in obvious fake annoyance. "Damn straight." Then she softened her expression and grasped Gai's hand. "Come back in one piece, okay?"

Gai reached up with his free hand and brushed Hikari's fringe away from her forehead. Cupping her face in one hand, he kissed her cheek. "I swear to you, I will do my best. If I fail I will buy you one hundred flowers," he said, his grin belying the seriousness of his tone.

This time, Hikari couldn't restrain the giggle. As despite the grim thought that this very well might be the last time she saw Gai alive, (Hikari knew the risks shinobi ran, and she refused to pretend otherwise,) he had survived thus far, and the thought of him turning up on her doorstep with a bouquet bigger than he was, (probably composed of lotus blossoms knowing him,) was frankly hilarious. (And deep down, Hikari thought that maybe karma owed her this one. It would be just too stupidly tragic if Gai were to die just after he had taken her on their first date).

"I'd rather you plant them for me then, so I can actually enjoy them all for longer," was all she said. She gave his hand one last wistful squeeze, feeling the deep calluses on his palm, and then released him. "Go on."

Gai gave her one last smile, and then suddenly Hikari was alone.

Well, apart from all the people standing around staring at her.

Hikari noticed, and scowled. "What are you all looking at?"

Not waiting for a response, she turned on her heel and began to trudge slowly home.

…..

"So, baby sis. I hear you've got a boyfriend!" was what Hikari heard as soon as she got in the door.

Squashing a groan, she looked up to see the delighted expression on her elder sister's face, who was hanging in the kitchen doorway.

"Hey Nako," Hikari greeted, using her sister's childhood nickname. "How are you? How are the kids and Souta?"

Natsuko waved a hand negligently. "I'm fine, the family's fine, business is booming and the kids are training hard because they want to get into the Academy, but enough about me, how are you? Who's the man? Come on sis, teeeeellll meeeee!"

"Both of you get in here so that I can hear too!" came the call from their mother's room.

Hikari snickered as Natsuko pouted.

"Awwww Kaa-san, now she'll never spill the juiciest details if you're listening!" she muttered under her breath, before taking Hikari by the arm and half-dragging her to their mother's room.

"Nee-saaaan!" Hikari protested as she narrowly avoided tripping over.

The two of them half-tumbled into their mother's sick room, and the wizened-looking lady laughed croakily from her sick-bed.

"Girls! Girls! Enough tussling. Hikari, tell us everything before Noriko does, or I'll never hear the end of it!" Akira chastened her daughters good-naturedly as she sat up against her pillows.

Hikari rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. "Well we can't let that happen. Aunty Noriko is insufferable enough as is."

With a speed and thoroughness that might of impressed some of the chief interrogators of T&I, Natsuko and Akira managed to get all the details of the date out of Hikari.

Natsuko was pouting. "Awwww, it wasn't even that much of a date. It really sucks that he got called away before ice-cream."

Hikari sighed a little. "Yeah." Then she shrugged. "Still, at least this is proof that he likes me."

Akira snorted. "You're kidding right? Even I knew that that boy liked you. Tales of how he's been practically running laps around you for the past week or so reached even this sick-room." Akira smirked at her youngest daughter's spluttering, but then grew more serious. "What I am disturbed about, however, is that Hyuuga Hiashi used killing intent on you."

Hikari scratched the back of her head, blushing. "Well, I should not have said-"

"I don't care what you said young lady," Akira retorted, and then started to cough.

Natsuko quickly poured her some cold tea, and supported her hands as she sipped it down. Eventually, the coughing ceased, and Akira continued as though the fit had never happened.

"The Hyuuga have been growing too big for their sandals. Your Uncle Daiki came to visit today. Apparently while you were on your date, Masaru-kun was already campaigning on your behalf."

"Masaru!" Hikari exclaimed.

Akira smiled. "It wasn't only him, daughter mine. Don't think that I haven't been paying attention. You might be a little abrasive for most of the civilians in this Village, but from what I hear, the ninja like you just fine."

Hikari blushed and muttered something vague about not being that popular.

Natsuko snorted inelegantly in response. "Oh please, don't be so modest. Souta's Uncle Chouza asks after you every time I see him, and most of Souta's friends do the same. Some of the ones who aren't your clients yet ask me to introduce them. They all want your services Hikari, and not just because you can exorcise their fridges. You provide a useful service, and you've proved to them time and again that you'll keep their privacy for them." Natsuko smirked. "You do know that a lot of them were testing you for the first couple of months?"

This time Hikari snorted. "I'm not slow. Collections of Icha Icha were one thing, but I've seen 'evidence'," she rolled her eyes, her tone disdainful, "of such a strange array of fetishes, illicit relationships and 'secrets' that even Jiraiya would be left slack-jawed with disbelief. Some of it might have been real, but really, that time with the tomato sauce and the eggbeaters was too ridiculous for words. I suspected from the start that I was being tested, but about the point where the weird stuff started suddenly not being there I figured I must have passed."

Natsuko blinked. "...Eggbeaters?"

Akira just snickered as Hikari shrugged. "Ninja are weird." She smirked at her sister. "You should know, you married into a family of them."

Natsuko rolled her eyes. "Yes, but apart from the food thing, the Akimichi are pretty easy-going. I can't imagine that they would have given you much trouble."

Hikari shook her head and shuddered lightly. "Without going into details, believe me, the food thing is more than enough."

Natsuko raised an eyebrow.

Hikari winced. "Let's just say that there have been times when I've had to clean up three-day-old chocolate sauce amongst... other condiments... in rooms other than the kitchen."

Natsuko's eyes widened. "Oh." She contemplated that for a moment. "Leaving it for three days is just mean, I remember the time-"

"Natsukooooo!" Hikari protested covering her ears. "I don't want to know the details of past exploits between you and Souta!"

"Neither do I, frankly," added Akira very dryly. "There are some things a mother should not have to know."

Natsuko blushed and mumbled an apology, but her slight smile betrayed her amusement.

Akira cleared her throat. "Getting back on topic, Hikari. Something is going to have to be done about Hyuuga Hiashi. I'm thinking of calling in the Uchiha."

Hikari winced. "I don't want to make a fuss."

Akira scowled. "If you don't, I'm going to make the fuss for you. I will not have any of my children accept that kind of treatment."

"Neither will I," said Masaru as he came in through the door, making them all jump. "And neither will the Inuzuka- Mimi offered their help."

Hikari sat on the edge of her mother's bed listening to her siblings and mother hashing out plans, and talking about who they were going to enlist. Eventually, she loosened up and offered a few suggestions, suggestions that made her family's eyes gleam with delighted mischief.

By the time they were finished planning, it had been agreed.

The Hyuuga were going to know exactly what hit them.

….

It was only four nights later that the plan had to be changed.

Hikari woke up, startled as she heard the alarms sounding. She groggily attempted to decipher the patter, and then gasped.

An invasion? But how? Who? Why?

Never mind. Find out about the motives of Konoha's enemies second-hand later. The alarm was the general invasion alarm, that told all ninja to assemble and all civilians to get the hell out of dodge. Not to be confused with the Shutdown Invasion alarm, that told all ninja to assemble and civilians to cower in their homes.

What she needed to do now was react.

Quickly, she threw a light coat over her sleepwear, and attached her prosthesis. She stumbled over to her mother's room.

"Kaa-san!"

"I'm up, I'm up," Akira grumbled as she fumbled with a dressing gown. "Where are my slippers?"

"They're here," Hikari said, and passed over her crutch. "Here, you're going to need this more than me."

"Hikari-"

"Don't argue with me, Kaa-san. I can manage without for a bit, and I can't carry you." Hikari saw the expression change in her mother's eyes and interrupted what she could see was about to happen. "And don't even suggest to me that you are going to stay in bed and not come with me. If I have to go out into the cold, then so do you," Hikari joked awkwardly, trying to hide her worry. Her mother rarely got out of bed any more, as exertion hurt her, and made the coughing worse. She knew that it was going to be slow going- bad enough that she herself couldn't run. But she would not leave her mother here alone, especially when the alarms were going off like that in the middle of the night.

Her mother looked like she might argue anyway, but that was when a loud pounding sounded at the door.

Hikari limped over, and checked through the key-hole. She was relieved but confused when she saw that it was an Anbu. She was even more surprised when she realised that it was Gecko.

"Yes?" Hikari said.

Gecko reached for her arm, and Hikari figured it out.

"Hold on," Hikari said, raising one hand defensively. "If you're about to take me away, you're taking my mother first."

Gecko cocked his head. A hacking cough came from further in the house. Gecko favoured Hikari with a nod, and then moved swiftly past her.

"Who the hell- hey! Put me down, young man! What are you-"

Hikari was treated with the sight of her mother bundled up in a thick blanket in Gecko's arms, before he shunshinned away.

Hikari drew her coat closer to herself, shivered, and waited. Obviously someone had told Gecko to get her to safety. Hikari thought she could guess pretty accurately who of their mutual acquaintance it might have been.

If the situation were not so worrisome, Hikari might have been annoyed at such high-handed behaviour conducted without consulting her, but as it was, she was mostly just relieved. The Evacuation Caves, (as they were so descriptively called) were a little away from the village, and she doubted that she would have managed to get her mother that far, especially when she had not left their house in months, let alone her room.

Her musings were interrupted as Gecko reappeared. Hikari offered her arm, and the next thing she knew, she was flying.

It was different to being carried by Bull, Hikari thought distantly. It felt... jerkier.

The sudden stop when they reached their destination left Hikari stumbling as Gecko abruptly half-dropped her.

"Hi-hikari?" a rough cough sounded from nearby.

"I'm here, Kaa-san," Hikari replied. She turned to Gecko. "Thank you. Especially for getting my mother out."

Gecko inclined his head in a light bow. Bull would have never let any of them hear the end of it if his precious cleaning-lady had come to harm. He had volunteered to fetch her, as despite his recent promotion, Bull had yet to stop occasionally teasing him about his first encounter with Hikari.

Gecko smirked behind his mask. If this didn't shut his old team-leader up, then nothing would. He waved slightly to Hikari, and then shunshinned back to help with the evacuation efforts. He had houses to check for life-forms to ensure that whoever had attacked the Uchiha weren't hiding in amongst the civilians. The last thing they needed now was a hostage situation on top of the massacre.

Gecko suppressed a shudder. He had never particularly liked most of the Uchiha- he found them generally arrogant and cold, albeit generally professional to a fault. Still, no one deserved to have that happen to them. If the rumours were true...

No time to worry about that. Gecko had a role to fulfil, and by the Will of Fire, he would achieve it to the best of his ability.

….

Back at the Caves, Hikari had coaxed her mother deeper in, to a nice dry spot against one cave wall, out of the cold wind from the door. They weren't the first ones inside, but it seemed that it was not by much. Fifteen minutes after they had arrived, Natsuko found them, carrying her kids on one hip each, both of them blinking sleep out of their fright-filled eyes.

Hikari opened her arms, and soon had a lap-full of niece.

"Hey, Choko. It's okay. Aunty Hikari has got you," she said, soothing the little girl who was shaking.

She turned her head to look at her sister. "What's happening? Do you know?"

Natsuko shook her head grimly, stress lines clear around her eyes. "I know, but I won't say it aloud. People would panic."

Hikari bit her lip, but nodded. The last thing that an enclosed space like the Caves needed was a mass panic. They'd be lucky if no one died in the crush, should that happen. Even if she had not been able to see that risk, Hikari would have deferred to her sister's judgement. Civilians who married into ninja clans were generally told that they would have to adhere to a strict code of conduct in emergencies, and generally went through at least some training before they were allowed to join with their partner-to-be. Those found to be unable to keep their head in a crisis tended to be carefully discouraged from joining, as the very last thing any ninja needed was having to deal with a hysterical partner when duty called them elsewhere.

Natsuko reached out, and Hikari gripped her hand. Incredibly, their mother had managed to fall asleep, cocooned in her blanket. Hikari supposed that evacuation was old-hat to her, though the last one had been when the Kyuubi had attacked.

...In retrospect, this one must be almost ridiculously less stressful than that one had been, seeing as this time she knew where all of her children were, since one of their neighbours, Yamada Keiko had told them a little before that she had seen Masaru and his team standing guard in the reserve force just in front of the Caves. Small wonder her mother was thus calm enough to catch up on her sleep – the reserve force pretty much never saw action in any invasion.

Unless of course things had gotten catastrophic, but Hikari supposed that if that was the case, there was no use worrying anyway. If that happened, they were all dead, regardless.

So Hikari sat on the cold dirt floor, wondering what it was that Natsuko wasn't telling her, as she held her niece and her sister's hand. She wondered where Gai was during all of this. As far as she was aware he was still out on his mission, but of course there was no way to be sure. For all she knew, the "mission" might have been for him to patrol Konoha as his Anbu persona Bull, (though if that were the case she had no idea why it would have been treated as so urgent). Hikari sat, and worried, and held her family close as she waited to hear what in the hell was going on.

It wasn't until almost 24 hours later, when the civilians had been given the all-clear to leave the Caves and had gone home that Hikari heard the news.

The Uchiha were dead.


	11. A Mild Interrogation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Akira Ascertains Gai's Intentions.

"All of them!" Akira exclaimed, clutching her robe to herself in shock.

Natsuko nodded confirmation to what their neighbour Hiroshi was saying. "Yes. Souta said that there had been an attack on the Uchiha compound. I'm sorry I couldn't say anything, but I didn't want to start a panic."

Hikari nodded dumbly. She understood the logic behind her sister's silence, but was flabbergasted that an entire clan could just be... gone like that. She had never really had much to do with the Uchiha- they were an arrogant lot in general, but they had also done their best to keep the peace between civilians and ninja, and so were seen by most of the civilians as an essential and helpful force within the village. Their people-skills had been generally seen as lacking as they were a fairly cold bunch, and it was well-known that many ninja with family styles were leery of training with them in case the Sharingan copied their special moves that they had worked hard on, but the Uchiha had been synonymous with Konoha has long as it had existed. For them to be all dead...

Well, it was an incredible blow.

"Apparently the only survivor is Sasuke, Fugaku's younger son," Hiroshi continued, his usual smugness for being one of those in the know tempered by the shock that the police force that had often helped him kick drunks out of his establishment had been wiped out into near non-existence.

Natsuko winced. "Oh, that poor boy. I cannot even imagine how he must be feeling right now."

Hikari nodded in agreement. "Poor kid. Is there anyone to take care of him?"

Hiroshi shrugged. "With no Uchiha Clan left, the nearest cousins are Hyuuga, and considering how much the Uchiha and Hyuuga loved each other..." All present grimaced as Hiroshi trailed off. The reason for the enmity between the Hyuuga and Uchiha could only be speculated upon by the civilians, but it was well known. Putting the last child survivor of the Uchiha Clan into the custody of the Hyuuga would be akin to dropping a mouse in a pit of vipers.

In the days that followed, the speculation of what was going to happen to Uchiha Sasuke was eclipsed only by the news that it had been his elder brother, the heir, Itachi, who was blamed for killing his entire family down to the children. Konoha was in shock. Low-ranking ninja who had resented Itachi for his brilliance were shaking their heads and saying that all the geniuses were crazy and it had only been a matter of time. Others who were more fair-minded wondered how no one seemed to have seen this coming. Some speculated that perhaps there had been too much pressure put on the boy, for after all, it was fairly well-known that he had been pushed pretty hard by his family. Becoming Anbu at 10 might have been common during the Third Shinobi war, but even though Itachi had been old enough to see some of the atrocities, he should certainly not been old enough to fight in it, civilians and most ninja were whispering.

Hikari, though as shocked as the next person, tried to avoid the endless conversations about it. She pitied Sasuke, and was horrified by Itachi, and felt that that should be the end of it. Now was the time to move on and pick up the pieces.

It was four days after the massacre that Hikari was summoned by the Hokage.

As she stood outside his office door in the waiting chamber, she got a distinctly bad feeling that she wasn't going to like what he wanted her to do.

And she was right.

"...the bodies have of course been removed for cremation or burial, as specified in their wills, however, the fact remains that there is a bereaved child who may later wish to enter or use his relatives' homes, and I do not believe that leaving them in their current state would do anyone any favours."

"You want to book my services to clean out the Uchiha homes," she repeated dully as the Hokage, who looked as though he had aged ten years since she had last seen him puffed grimly at his pipe.

"Yes," he said. "Frankly, there are few others I would trust to be hired to do this. Sasuke is currently... indisposed, and as there is no one else I am acting in loco parentis." The lines of his face deepened as he grimaced. "Already the junior Anbu I have left guarding the Uchiha compound have had to chase off looters and souvenir hunters. As grim and large as this task is, you have established yourself as being trustworthy and discreet, and I feel that you can be relied upon to make sensible decisions as to the storage of any valuables and general cleaning of the... scenes of death." The Hokage's blunt choice of words made Hikari wince, but she appreciated him not using a euphemism. The Hokage continued, "Although you can refuse this task if you so choose, if you accept it, I will ensure that you are compensated beyond your normal wage."

Hikari looked up at him sharply at that. "Would the money come from Uchiha Sasuke's accounts?" she asked.

The Hokage scowled, and Hikari gulped. "Why do you wish to know?" he demanded, his tone deceptively calm.

"Because if so, I would rather just be paid my normal rate for dealing with extensive... biological waste and traps," Hikari stated as evenly as she could manage. "I don't want to profit from another's tragedy. My contract stipulates a fair wage for such work, and as is, the Uchiha compound has at least fifteen buildings as far as I am aware. You are already giving me a large potentially long-term job, and I don't do bulk discounts, so this is how I'm going to compromise with my conscience on this," she said as firmly as she could manage.

The Hokage considered her for a long moment, and Hikari tried not to hold her breath.

His expression relaxed, and thus so did Hikari. "Very well. Will you have trouble scheduling this around your other work?"

Hikari shook her head. "If I can come and go as I please I should be able to manage it, though I won't know how long the job is going to take until I've had a look. I might sub-contract to a couple of genin teams though once I've packed away most of the sensitive and personal things, if that's alright?"

The Hokage nodded wearily. "Of course. I will let you know where young Sasuke wants such things stored after I have talked to him. I would normally have you dealing with the family lawyer, but unfortunately he was killed along with his Uchiha wife."

Hikari just shook her head sadly. "Well I'll try not to take up too much of your time when I have to consult you, since I'm sure you have other concerns," the cleaning-lady and the Hokage exchanged a wry look at her understatement. "Will I be dealing with Sasuke's guardian once that is decided?" Hikari asked.

The Hokage somehow looked even more tired. "Due to the terms of the original pact between the Senju and the Uchiha at the foundation of this village, Sasuke is allowed to choose his own guardian. He has thus far refused. Considering the vultures that are already circling, I cannot help but think that this makes the boy's choice wiser than he realises, though for the sake of the friendship between his ancestors and mine and the many years of loyal service that his clan did to our village I am determined to ensure that his needs are at least somewhat anticipated. An eight-year-old should not be expected to make financial decisions for his entire clan's holdings, but that is nonetheless what will be asked of him."

If Hikari hadn't known better, she might have thought that the Hokage looked guilty for a moment there, but whatever the expression was that had given her that impression quickly vanished. Deciding that it was none of her business, Hikari changed the subject to more mundane concerns.

"I imagine that there is going to be a great deal of food left in the kitchens," she said. "Should I just throw it out, or could I donate it to Widows, Widowers and Orphans?" she asked, naming a charitable organisation that existed to aid those left behind when ninja died or were otherwise incapacitated. "I've passed on food and clothes and such to them before when ninja have died before without leaving heirs."

The Hokage puffed at his pipe, thinking, before he apparently came to a conclusion and exhaled. Hikari tried not to cough as he answered her, "Is there any possible way you can conceal where the extraneous food came from?"

Hikari shrugged. "The people who run WWO aren't idiots- Fujiko and her minions will probably figure out where all the food is coming from- but they're also discreet. I won't hand them anything obviously labelled as Aunty Uchiha's preserves, but chances are the non-perishables will be kept in reserve and doled out slowly so that it won't be obvious. It's been almost five days now, so chances are most of the fresh stuff is not going to be fit for consumption anyway."

The Hokage nodded, accepting her explanation. "Very well then. As I said, you have proved your trustworthiness, so I will trust your judgement on this matter and any others that come up, though I ask that you consult with me or young Sasuke if you find anything that you believe needs attention."

If the situation had been any less grim, Hikari might have privately rolled her eyes at such an obvious thing being said out loud, but even if she had not felt that she should at least publicly respect her clients' wishes, in this case she could appreciate why the Hokage would feel the need for clarity on all things in this case.

"Of course," was thus all she said, and soon afterwards their interview concluded.

…..

It was two days after her interview with the Hokage that Gai reappeared.

Tired and worn-out both mentally and emotionally from packing up obvious sentimental items and trying to scrub out the bloodstains as best she could, Hikari had been starting to drag her cart home when a familiar green blur appeared in her path and solidified into Gai.

Hikari paused in the middle of the street, and started to greet him, when she spotted the heavy bandage around his side.

"Gai! What happened?" she gasped, her fingers hovering above the bulky dressing.

Gai flushed slightly. "I am Most Apologetic that I Could Not Uphold My Promise to Come Home in One Piece."

Hikari shook her head. "Never mind about that. The main thing is that you made it back." She noticed how Gai was looking over her shoulder. For a split second she was confused, until she remembered that the Uchiha Compound was just behind her.

"I take it you've heard then," was all she said.

Gai bowed his head, and Hikari, despite knowing about his usual exuberant expressions of emotion was a little shocked to see that he had tears in his eyes.

"Yes," was all he said.

Hikari wasn't sure what to say. She didn't know whether Gai had been close friends with any of the Uchiha, though she supposed that as a ninja he must have known and worked with a number of him. She didn't know if his grief was personal or in response to the Injustice. Since she didn't know what to say, instead she carefully placed a hand on his arm.

"Would you like to go somewhere quiet where we can sit and talk?" she said. An uncomfortable expression appeared on Gai's face, and thinking it concerned talking about his emotions, Hikari quickly clarified, "I just meant, it might be good to get out of the street and off my feet because I'm a bit tired. There's a spot I like to sit when I'm thinking that overlooks the park. We can just sit there and think if that's what you would rather do..." Gai was openly staring at her now, and Hikari was unsure what emotion was in his eyes, beyond his sadness concerning the Uchihas. All she knew was that like all of Gai's emotions, it looked pretty intense.

"...what?" Hikari asked, confused about his reaction.

Gai then smiled, and though it was significantly less sparkly than his usual grin, Hikari felt her heart skip a beat.

"If you tell me where this Special Spot is, I can shunshin us there," was all he said.

A few minutes later, and the two of them were settled on a bench under a large willow that was set a little away from the paths that ran through the park. The willow's branches swished lightly in the breeze, providing a slight screen that shielded their presence without obscuring it. Whether their presence was hidden or not though was moot, as so far as Hikari could see, they were completely alone in the park.

They sat there, side by side for a few long moments, before Hikari turned, and saw that Gai was still silently crying. She had never seen a grown man cry before, but she did not think less of him for it. Rather, she felt that at least his reaction to the Uchiha tragedy was honest, and not accompanied by some of the snide remarks she had been hearing all week. It was... refreshing in a way, though part of her worried for him.

"Do you want a hug?" she finally asked.

A millisecond later, and her were arms full of distressed jounin. She patted his back, feeling her own eyes well up in sympathy as he sobbed into her shoulder.

After a while, he calmed down, and she sat silently, just holding him as his sobs receded into shudders and then finally stopped apart from occasional hiccups.

"Are you alright?" she asked, wincing internally at the stupid question even as it left her lips.

Gai looked up at her, red-eyed. "Not at present, but I will be. I Apologise, for this is Not how I Imagined our Next Meeting would Be." He paused, and seemed to debate what he wanted to say next, before admitting, "I feel that I should have Seen this Coming, as Itachi was one I... Worked With at times."

Hikari attempted a rueful smile. "Don't be sorry. You're allowed to be upset when one of your comrades apparently goes mad and kills most of his family, including more comrades. And the one thing that I've always heard about Itachi was that he was hard to read, even for an Uchiha." She squeezed Gai's shoulder. "Don't beat yourself up over something that apparently not one other person, including those in the profession of discovering secrets saw coming or was able to react in time to help."

Gai shook his head and was silent for a while. "I have been told it is Most Unprofessional and Unbecoming for me to Grieve in Public like this," was all he said. Despite his words, he did not move away from Hikari's embrace.

Hikari snorted and brushed Gai's hair away from his forehead. "You're not on the clock, and there's no one around but me. I don't think this counts as public. I know you ninja are tough and all, but you shouldn't have to be rocks all the time." She sighed. "I can go away if you would rather be alone."

"No!" Gai exclaimed, and then looked surprised at his own vehemence.

His lost expression pulled at Hikari's heart.

"Alright," was all she said. They sat together in silence for a little longer, before Hikari decided that what Gai needed was a distraction.

"You broke your promise to me, you know," she said.

Gai stiffened, but before he could react further, Hikari barrelled on. "So when you're recovered, we're going to have to discuss where you're going to plant those hundred flowers for me."

Gai relaxed again, and when he looked up at Hikari, she saw that he was almost grinning.

"Indeed. As I Said I am Most Apologetic that I was Unable to Honour your request by Avoiding Enemy Shuriken. What Flowers would you like me to Plant, my Beautiful Bougainvillea?" his eyes crinkled in amusement. "Perhaps Bougainvilleas?"

Hikari's smile was genuine this time. "So long as you plant a variety, I honestly don't mind. You can even plant a few lotuses if you want."

Gai's expression brightened further. "It is Most Pleasing that you would Indulge my Appreciation for Lotus Blossoms!"

Hikari snickered. "Well even if you plant ten, there's still the other ninety flowers to go, so you're going to have to start planning once I decide where I want them."

"Hmm," Gai stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I Suppose I should ask a Yamanaka How Best to choose Suitable Blooms for this Project," he smacked his chest dramatically, and Hikari giggled at his enthusiasm. "This Shall Be a Most Worthy Challenge Indeed!"

The look of genuine pleasure that appeared on Gai's face at this point nearly took Hikari's breath away. She wasn't sure if it was the opportunity to garden specifically that was making him so happy, (some time later, she would come to realise that this was his reaction to all of his 'Challenges' and would ruthlessly exploit this whenever he was in a funk,) but she was glad he was feeling a little better.

They sat together chatting for a while after that, about whatever came to mind. A few times Gai leapt up to dramatically gesticulate and pose, and Hikari would just giggle and occasionally reach out and drag him back down, saying he was giving her neck-strain from looking up at him if he had been hopping about too much.

Hikari was beginning to discover that she and Gai had more in common than she first thought. Whilst at first glance he seemed foolishly idealistic when he started crowing about the Springtime of Youth, Hikari was starting to see that it was less optimism that Gai actually felt, and more an obsession with living life to the absolute fullest. Considering his profession, she could understand where this had come from. Especially when he spoke about his "Eternal Rival" Kakashi. Hikari had had enough interaction with the last Hatake to know that he generally walked around in a fug of depression, depression that he tried ineffectually to hide with silly expressions and anti-social behaviour. One time she had let herself into his house to do a scheduled clean, and had seen him contemplating a freshly-sharpened kunai with an unsettling intensity for a split second before he insincerely eye-smiled at her and vanished off somewhere.

As much as Hikari felt respect for Kakashi and what his skill meant for the village, she could not help but think that the poor man desperately needed some counselling, especially considering the open secret that he regularly read porn in public.

Her musings were interrupted by the sudden loud rumbling of her stomach, and she flushed a bit as Gai visibly startled at the sound.

"My Most Beauteous Bougainvillea! I have spoken Too Long and you are Famished after your day of Hard Work!" he knelt at her feet and grasped her hand, as though she was ill.

Hikari laughed, despite herself. "I am a little hungry," she admitted. "I have to get home and cook dinner... would you like to join us? It'll just be me and my mother," she said.

In response, Gai practically sparkled.

"It would be My Greatest Honour and Privilege to Dine with you and Your Most Beloved Matriarch!" he declared, bouncing to his feet again. "What are you Cooking?"

Hikari shrugged. "I'm not sure, but since you'll be there, probably curry."

Gai gaped. "How Did You Know I Like Curry!?"

Hikari smirked. "I have cleaned your kitchen more than once before you know."

"Oh," Gai replied, his eyes wide. "My Beautiful Bougainvillea is Most Perceptive!"

"Gai," Hikari rolled her eyes, "thirteen recipe books on the same thing and a spice-rack that would rival the Akimichis' is a clue that even a civilian is unlikely to miss."

Gai just grinned at her, swept Hikari and her cart into his arms and shunshinned them both to Hikari's place.

Hikari stumbled as they landed just outside the open front door.

"Gai," she complained, "a little warning next time."

"Is that you, Hikari?" came the call from the house.

"Yes, Kaa-san, it's me. And Gai. I invited him for dinner," Hikari replied as she toed off her shoes in the entrance-way.

"Gai, is it? Come in and talk to me while my daughter cooks dinner then," Akira responded, leaning against the doorway to her room.

Hikari saw her there and blanched. "Kaa-san, what are you doing up? You know the doctor said it's better for you to just lie down and save your strength."

Akira rolled her eyes. "I know my limits, Hikari. I just got up for a glass of water. I'm the mother here, stop worrying so much," she smiled to take the sting out of her words, and hobbled back to bed.

Gai looked to Hikari, and she just shrugged. "I assume she just wants to know what sort of person I'm seeing. I'm just going to freshen up, then I'll start cooking. Humour her for me?"

Gai nodded and beamed. "Of Course. I Will Do My Best to Set Your Mother's Mind To Rest."

Hikari smiled back at him, and left for her room.

Cautiously, Gai entered Akira's room.

Akira was sitting up against some pillows, looking wan and slightly out-of-breath. If Gai had wondered why Hikari was concerned that her mother was up and about, he now saw the reason.

"Hello," he said uncharacteristically softly.

"Oh come over here and sit down and stop hovering like I'm going to fracture if you breathe on me," Akira snarked. "I'm dying, not made of tissue-paper."

Gai's brow creased slightly, but he moved closer and took a seat beside his... Bougainvillea's mother. Inwardly, he thought that he could see where Hikari had learned at least some of her attitude.

"So," Akira said. "You're seeing my daughter. Tell me about yourself."

Seeing that though indeed the lady looked unwell, she was nonetheless clearly still full of vim, if not vigour, Gai decided to see if Hikari's mother had a similar sense of humour to her daughter.

"Most Esteemed Lady Who Has Raised My Beautiful Bougainvillea, I am Called Mighty Gai the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha!" he exclaimed, hopping out of his seat to pose with his thumb up.

Akira stared at him agape for a full three seconds.

Gai wondered if he had miscalculated.

He was about to abruptly change his tack, when Akira burst out into guffaws.

"Ahahaha oh Kami, I think I see what my daughter likes about you! Oh my sides!"

Gai's grin, which had faded due to uncertainty, returned full force, as Hikari's mother insisted that he call her "Akira", before she began one of the most thorough, albeit gentle interrogations that Gai had ever withstood. Since he felt that he needed Akira's good opinion, he answered most questions to the best of his ability- he was an orphan, no, he had no surviving family, but he had grown up with a sister who had unfortunately died in childbirth, yes he had lived in Konoha all his life, he had always wanted to become a shinobi, and yes, he did care for Hikari very much.

Privately, Gai felt that Akira had missed her calling, as he found himself revealing details that he was sure even his closest comrades were unaware of. Even the psychologist that Gai occasionally had to visit to prove that he was mentally as well as physically combat-ready had never thought to ask some of the probing questions that Akira came out with.

Oddly, Gai did not feel defensive as he spoke of his childhood and his training and his friends. He supposed that perhaps it was because he understood and even approved of the motivations that Akira clearly had behind this interrogation. She wanted to make sure that she knew the kind of man that was seeing her daughter.

Twenty minutes after she had left Gai with her mother, Hikari entered the room, wearing fresh clothes and smelling like curry.

"I've just put the pot on to simmer, so I'll leave it for an hour or so to boil down, and then we can eat it," she said as she came in and sat down.

"That sounds fine, Hikari," Akira said. "Is that my favourite curry I smell?"

Hikari grinned. "Yeah. Gai likes curry too, so I thought I'd please the both of you."

Akira nodded approvingly. "Well that's that. Hikari, I have officially decided that you have good taste in men."

Hikari boggled. "Because he likes curry?" she asked incredulously.

"What?" she demanded when both Gai and her mother started laughing.

"No seriously, what?"

When both of them continued laughing, this time at her confusion, Hikari threw up her hands in exasperation and proclaimed them both to be mad with hunger. She grinned though, despite herself.

After all, her mother had just given her blessing. The reason for this mattered far less than the fact that Gai had passed whatever test her mother had set for him.

She reached out for Gai's hand, and he grasped hers, smiling.

As Hikari considered the tableau of her mother and boyfriend laughing, she decided that when her mother was gone, this at least would be a memory she could revisit.

And so she reveled in the present.

…...


	12. Youthful Icecream and Other Flavours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Gai Introduces Hikari to Youthful Icecream.

Chapter 12: Youthful Icecream and Other Flavours

Since Gai had been injured on his last mission, the Hokage upon consulting with the Konoha medics had put Gai on three months of forced leave whilst he recovered. The wound to his side that had so concerned Hikari was in fact the least of his worries- on his last mission Gai had been forced to open four gates, up to the Gate of Pain, and so had numerous of torn muscles all over his body. Whilst Gai knew he could still be of use in an emergency, he also knew that fighting or training too hard at this point could cause him permanent damage that would effectively end his ninja career.

And so, Gai found himself with an unusually large amount of down-time. His normal training schedule had been switched for one that would rehabilitate his muscles rather than extend them, and so he could not exercise for as long as he normally would. Last time this had happened, Gai had become bored almost immediately, and had started entertaining himself by annoy- ahem- engaging his Eternal Rival.

It was out of this time that the silly challenges such as playing Go or fishing had started to come about, since if any of the medicnin had caught Gai sparring (which was how he had first caught Kakashi's attention) then he would have been hell to pay. Kakashi being Kakashi had originally ignored Gai, but after a while had started to acquiesce, if only to get a few hours peace whilst Gai ran off to complete his "forfeits" (which were generally essential physiotherapy that he needed to do to get back into peak condition anyway).

This time however, when Gai went looking for his Eternal Rival he was told that Kakashi was away on a mission. A little prompting (i.e. threatening via reminding the clerk that Gai himself was an Anbu and thus had a high enough clearance level for this kind of scuttlebutt) and Gai discovered that Kakashi was one of the team who were searching for Itachi Uchiha.

Upon this news, Gai had grimaced, and backed off, irritated with himself that he had not guessed that this would be the case. He hoped that Kakashi would be alright though. The Uchiha elders had treated Sharingan no Kakashi with more than a little distaste, at one point outright threatening to tear Obito's eye right out of his head. Gai had however caught Kakashi more than once staring at the younger Uchihas, obviously thinking of his dead team-mate, and had noticed that he tended to keep tabs on them.

The fact that they were all dead, and that they had been betrayed by a comrade, no, more than a comrade, a family member... (and as an orphan whose father had killed himself, Kakashi was even more sensitive about family than most...) It was essentially all of Kakashi's issues and traumatic past embodied in the actions of one genius teenaged missing-nin. Gai wondered at the Hokage's thought process in arranging for Kakashi to be one of those tracking Itachi, but supposed that if nothing else, Kakashi would be vehement in tracking the former Uchiha heir down, to the point of obsession.

If he failed though...

Gai sighed and shook his head at the thought, earning himself some confused glances from a group of chunin wandering past where he leaned beside the entrance of the mission office.

If Kakashi failed, Gai was going to have to do his best to pick up the pieces. There were not a whole lot of them left from their generation- a combination of the Third Shinobi War and the usual attrition rate, as those who were less skilled or simply unlucky met their inevitably violent fates whenever missions went wrong, as they were bound to do. Because of this, Kakashi's general unapproachable aura, and the fact that Gai was one of the few who had both his attention and respect (though Kakashi rarely if ever showed this in public), when Kakashi fell too deeply into depression it inevitably fell to Gai to jolly him out of it.

Fortunately, Gai was generally pretty good at that.

Scratching his head, Gai decided that he would worry about Kakashi when he had concrete reason to, and instead should be thinking about what he was going to do with himself for the next three months.

He needed a project- no, a challenge.

It was just then that he caught a whiff of bleach in the air, and suddenly remembered.

He had promised Hikari, his Beautiful Bougainvillea, that he would plant her a hundred flowers.

He supposed that he could simply go and acquire the seeds from Yamanaka Inoko. She owed him a favour after all.

Gai grinned, dazzling a genin team walking past him so much that they all stumbled.

But where would be the fun in that?

…...

Hikari was having an irritating day.

First of all, her Aunt Noriko had turned up first thing in the morning, whilst Hikari was still blinking the sleep out of her eyes.

Noriko was apparently concerned that her dearest niece, (Hikari had only barely suppressed an incredulous expression at that point, as Noriko was not exactly her biggest fan most of the time,) was getting involved with a... clanless (this part added to avoid insulting Natsuko and her Akimichi husband,) shinobi.

Naturally, this was the part that Masaru had walked in, and the filthy expression that he had given his Aunt had almost been enough to chase her out the door (Hikari was a little sorry that it had only almost worked). Masaru himself as a first generation ninja from a civilian clan had several times run up against Clan Ninja who considered him practically clanless, and his Sensei Minami Rei and his Team Mate Douga Asuka were both themselves clanless ninja. It was bad enough hearing stupid prejudice from his colleagues, who at least justified it by saying that those outside of ninja clans missed out on the training that occurred practically from birth to shape them into superior warriors. To hear it from one of his own family members though for no reason he could discern beyond snobbery?

That really ticked him off.

Since Noriko had decided to not leave, Hikari then had to defuse Masaru and deflect Noriko from bothering their mother, ("But I want to see my sister in law!" "She's sleeping Aunt, come back tomorrow",) and by the time she had managed to escape the house citing that she had work to get to, Hikari was thoroughly irritated.

It was mostly because of this irritation that Hikari had been distracted.

So now, for the first time in months, she had been caught in a trap. Apparently Rei Junko, the kunoichi whose apartment she had been cleaning, had forgotten to disengage the weighted net that fell from the ceiling when people entered her kitchen without tripping the deactivation switch. Now that Hikari was pinned down, she could see it... just out of reach. Naturally.

The only reason that Hikari was relatively uninjured was that there were only a few sparse spikes on the net, and most of them had bounced off the body armour that she had purchased with her first paycheck from Shiranui Genma all that time ago. That, and the light helmet that she wore hidden under her habitual headscarf, had been enough to deflect the damn things, so the only exposed skin she had been caught on was her left arm, which was bleeding sluggishly. Fortunately, it did not seem like Junko had poisoned the spikes, since Hikari had yet to feel unwell or even mildly itchy, so at least Hikari did not have to worry about dying or getting sick from the poison before she managed to get free, but this was still infuriating.

Fortunately, Hikari had had the forethought to be carrying a multi-tool, that included knife and wire-cutter attachments. Generally it was the screwdriver attachments that she got the most use out of when she found minor repairs that she could conduct, but she had always made a point of making sure that her multi-tool was on her person.

She had never been gladder of it as just now, as the knife attachment was enough to get through the thick hemp rope, and the wire-cutters were just strong enough for her to get through the ninja-wire that was threaded in amongst it. It was going to take her a while, but she was going to get out of this, and then she was going to leave a very sternly-worded letter to her client, explaining why she was going to have to rebook Hikari's services at a later date once the undisclosed-trap fee had been received. If Hikari hurried, she might be able to make her next appointment on time.

Eventually, she managed to free herself, and checked the clock as she broke open her first aid kit.

If she left right now, then she would just make her next appointment three blocks away at Yamanaka Inoko's place.

Quickly, she disinfected the wound on her arm, and then clumsily bandaged it.

Hikari then scribbled a note, folded it into the shape of an origami crane, and left it in the remains of the net in the middle of the kitchen floor, before collecting her cleaning supplies and leaving.

She was most of the way there, when she heard her name being hollered out.

"Hikari! My Beautiful Bougainvillea!"

Hikari smiled.

"Hello Gai," she said. "I'm just going to Yamanaka Inoko's place."

"What A Coincidence! That was just where I-" Gai abruptly trailed off. "Hikari! You have been Injured!"

"Huh?" Hikari looked down at the bandage on her arm, and the quickly spreading maroon-red stain it sported. "Aw shit, I thought I'd bandaged that well enough."

Before she could blink, Gai had swept her and her cleaning cart into his arms, and had run her straight through the front window of Inoko's house, where he flared his chakra, inadvertently dazzling Hikari.

"Wha-?" was all Hikari had time to get out, before Inoko came sprinting into the room.

"Put her down on the table. Report," she snapped efficiently.

Gai gently placed Hikari down on the bare dining-room table, and then replied to Inoko, "Met Hikari outside door. Bleeding heavily from left arm. Source of Injury Unknown."

"Right," Inoko's hand flared green, and the clumsy bandage that Hikari had wrapped barely ten minutes before fell to the ground, as Inoko began to gently probe the wound. Oh right, Hikari remembered. Yamanaka Inoko was a battle-field medic. She supposed that explained why Gai had hustled her in here specifically when he had spotted her arm, but still...

"I'm alright, it's just a scratch," Hikari demurred, confused as to what all the fuss was about.

Inoko snorted. "Just a scratch that seems to have been inflicted by a standard trap spike dipped in..." she concentrated for a moment. "Ah yes, Anti-coagulant Solution No. 27."

Hikari blinked. "Anti-co-what? But I feel fine."

"Yes, that fits the profile," Inoko said, impatiently pushing a strand of her long blonde hair out of her eyes. She stepped away, and applied a little chakra to the door of a small innocuous-looking cupboard. The door popped open – chakra lock, Hikari thought – and inside there were a number of small vials. Inoko selected one, and then with a pipette, proceeded to carefully administer three drops of the vial's solution into Hikari's open wound.

"There, that should fix that," Inoko said. "Well done Gai for noticing."

Hikari was feeling very confused now, as Gai hovered protectively and Inoko proceeded to professionally re-bandage Hikari's arm.

"For noticing what?" Hikari asked, still baffled.

"Your skin around the wound was starting to acquire a very subtle blueish tinge," Inoko explained, relaxing back into a seat. "Anti-coagulant Solution No. 27 is one of the more common known poisons. It stops the blood from clotting, and then starts to attack the surrounding blood vessels. It's rarely deadly because as I said, it's common and known, which means that we medicnin all carry the antidote as part of our basic toxin kit, but if it's left for more than about five hours a blood transfusion may be required, as the rate of bleeding speeds up."

Hikari blinked, and then swore.

"Damnit Junko! She had better have a solid apology lined up, or she can find someone else to clean up after her! This is the second time she's forgotten to deactivate all of her traps. Last time I managed to dodge," she explained.

Inoko's eyebrows raised, as she saw Maito Gai's thunderous expression behind Hikari. Hikari herself had her back to him, and so was slightly startled when she found herself suddenly enveloped in a pair of well-muscled arms.

"Gai!" she squeaked. The arm's tightened, and Hikari sighed, leaning back into her boyfriend's chest. "It's okay, I'm fine," she said.

"You might be," said Inoko, "since I've given you the antidote, but I'm worried about Junko. You said she 'forgot' to take down her traps. You don't think she was testing you?"

Hikari frowned. "I... was never given that impression. She seemed apologetic when I dodged the senbon trap two months ago, and I've cleaned there since without anything happening."

"Hmmm," was all Inoko said, but Hikari got the distinct impression that Rei Junko would be receiving a house-visit sometime soon. She wondered about that, but decided that if it was deemed relevant to her, then she would be debriefed. She had spent enough time about ninja to have learned by now that if they didn't think she should know something, then she was only going to find out by accident or after the fact.

She attempted to get up, but discovered that Gai's arms had only slightly more give in them than steel bars. She thought about struggling, but decided doing such was futile. Anyway, being held like this was kind of... nice, Hikari thought.

Soon after, the two of them were chivvied out. Inoko stated that she would not have Hikari clean her house when she was clearly getting over a shock, and that she would book Hikari in for the next week, before practically chasing the two of them out. Hikari spotted some significant looks and sign-language passing between Inoko and Gai, and assumed that this was one of those "not in front of the civilian" conversations that she should ignore.

As it turned out, the conversation she was missing had gone more like this:

"So what were you doing in my area anyway?" Inoko signed in Konoha Standard. "You following the cleaner girl?"

"Coincidence. I want to plant 100 flowers for her, and I figured you could point me in the right direction," Gai replied, his signs having a few Anbu-specific flourishes that he nonetheless knew Inoko would understand. It was an open secret that medics tended to get at least basic Anbu communication training just in case an Anbu was too disoriented to switch back to KonStan. "But that can wait until you figure out what the fuck Rei Junko is thinking." (Gai himself would have probably translated the "what the fuck" as an extreme displeasure/disbelief modifier, but Inoko knew what the sign really meant.)

Inoko nodded grimly in acknowledgement, and moments after Gai and Hikari left, she herself was leaving through the back window. Her cousin and clan-head Inoichi, who was also high up in the Intelligence Division was going to get a visit and a heads-up that Rei Junko probably needed a full psych-assessment before she went on any more missions.

Meanwhile, Hikari was unsuccessfully trying to convince Gai to put her down.

"I really am fine Gai, I can walk," she complained half-heartedly as he carried her down the street.

Gai just grinned at her, and replied, "yes, but this is Faster."

Hikari rolled her eyes and resigned herself to being hauled about.

"Where are we going, anyway?" she huffed.

Gai paused for a moment.

Hikari snorted. "You have no idea, do y-"

"I have a Most Excellent Idea!" Gai exclaimed.

"...not next to my ear, Gai," Hikari groaned, but smiled a little at his abrupt return to exuberance. She preferred exuberant Gai to worried Gai. Worried Gai made her feel guilty for making him feel worried. Not that she thought that that was his intention, but still...

Gai shunshinned, and then the two of them were in front of a brightly-coloured stall.

"Genji's Gelato..." Hikari read out, "Oh, is this the place you said has the 'Most Youthful Flavours'?" she asked, teasingly mimicking Gai's exaggerated mode of speech.

"Indeed!" Gai beamed. "I Thought that this might Cheer Up My Most Beautiful Bougainvillea And Restore Her Youthfulness!" Privately he added to himself, 'and restore mine, because you scared a couple of years off my lifespan.' The poison had only been mild and easily treatable, all things considered, but it could have so easily been something more dangerous, like a paralytic. And no one would have known until Hikari had been missing for possibly a day...

Hikari giggled, unaware of the dark places Gai's mind was travelling. "Alright, alright, show me. But you might have to put me down," she said.

Gai smirked. "I Do Not Believe That Necessary," he teased, swinging Hikari up so that she was sitting on his shoulder.

"Gai!" Hikari protested. "I'll hit my head on the awning!"

Gai conceded that she had a point, and so swung her down onto the ground, gently steadying her until she regained her balance.

Hikari shook a finger at him, grinning, and quickly stepped forward to look at the rainbow of coloured gelato tubs displayed.

Five minutes later, as she and Gai were sitting at a convenient bench watching the world go by, Hikari had to admit that her raspberry, chocolate and vanilla gelato tasted rather good.

She nearly inhaled her gelato when she saw what Gai had ordered though. Mint-choc-chip and tropical might be 'Most Youthful', but she almost fell off the bench in peals of laughter when she realised that he had matched the colours of his order to his habitual training gear...

Gai insisted that he did not know what she thought was so funny.

Hikari noticed the glint in his eye though when he was saying that, and knew that it was supposed to be a subtle self-parody. Sometimes she wondered if part of the reason she got on so well with ninja in general and Gai in particular was just because for the most part she got their twisted sense of misdirection-based humour.

Hikari did try his outlandish flavour combination though, and was surprised to find that actually, it wasn't half bad.

As Gai walked her back to her place afterwards, leaving her at her door with a sweet, but intensely passionate kiss that made Hikari's toes curl, Hikari thought to herself that she could definitely get used to this.

...


	13. One Hundred Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which one good person comes to an end.

Soon after Hikari had returned from her impromptu gelato date with Gai, she went home. On the way in the door, she met her sister Natsuko, who had evidently been visiting their mother. She asked Hikari to come shopping with her.

Hikari had been about to protest, but had caught the grim expression in her sister's eyes. Obviously more was going on than Natsuko wanting someone to play sherpa for all of the groceries.

A few minutes later, and the two of them were sitting in a small private room in a nearby teahouse. It was not one that Hikari had visited before, but she was not slow in spotting the fact that the manager was very definitely an Akimichi. This was doubly confirmed when he nodded his head respectfully to Natsuko- the Akimichi made a point to pay special respect to those in the clan with an ability to cook, and Natsuko's dumplings were already legendary. Natsuko sometimes joked to Hikari that she was lucky she had already learned the recipe from her when they were both younger, as otherwise the Akimichi might not have let her teach it to anyone outside of the clan, sister or not.

Well, Hikari thought it was a joke. Sometimes it was hard to tell with Natsuko when she was talking about clan business.

Hikari thought that it was lucky for Souta that Natsuko was as stupidly adorably in love with him as he was with her, otherwise Natsuko would have run for the hills as soon as she got a load of some of the more... ninja ways of doing things that were written into traditional clan law.

A few minutes after the two of them had been seated, Masaru joined them. Natsuko ordered tea for three, and once the waitress had returned with their order and excused herself, Masaru immediately asked what was going on.

"What's happening, Sis? You never call me out of training." He grimaced. "Is it Kaa-san?"

Natsuko nodded, her lips held tightly together, but her eyes wet. "When I got there today, the doctor was there. She pulled me aside."

Hikari sucked in a breath, unaware that Masaru was echoing her body-language next to her.

"The news is bad, isn't it," Hikari stated flatly.

Natsuko poured tea for the three of them, and the way her hands shook slightly, nearly spilling the tea was answer enough for both of her younger siblings.

She sighed. "Yes." She paused, visibly working herself up to deliver the news. "The doctor said that Kaa-san didn't want us to know until the last minute, because she didn't want us to hover over her worrying for the last few weeks.

Hikari reached across the table, and took her sister's hand. "How long?"

Natsuko bowed her head. "The doctor thinks that it'll be a week, at the absolute outside." Small droplets of water appeared on the tablecloth, but the only remark Hikari or Masaru made about this was for Masaru to hand Natsuko his handkerchief.

Hikari felt herself sag. She turned to look at Masaru, and could see that he was fighting back tears. She reached a hand out for him as well, and that was what made the dam break. He might have been a shinobi, but this was his mother. Their mother. Hikari realised that the dampness on her cheeks was her own tears.

A few minutes later, once she had got herself under a little more control, Hikari attempted a feeble joke. "This is really just like her, you know. Always trying to make us think that everything is completely fine."

The returned smiles were shaky and through tears, but Natsuko nodded in agreement, and Masaru added, "I always thought that she would have made a brilliant kunoichi. She always knows everything, and always takes far too much onto herself."

More feeble smiles were exchanged.

Hikari shook her head. "Well, we knew it was coming," she said, echoing what Natsuko had said just before.

Masaru nodded grimly. "Yeah, but I was hoping that she would last at least another few months. At least until autumn. She's always loved the colours the leaves turn then."

The three of them sipped at their steaming tea for a while, in wistful silence.

Hikari idly noted that her sister had asked for a herbal blend with ginger. It was a family tradition amongst them to drink this tea when ill or needing comfort. Hikari sighed. Typical Natsuko. Always remembering the little details that would put people more at ease.

"So now what?" Masaru asked, sounding younger than he had in ages. "What do we do now?"

Natsuko shuddered slightly. "We wait. And when the time comes, we call the temple to send someone over to give Kaa-san her last rites, and then talk to them about how we should go about the f-funeral arrangements." Her face crumpled a little as she stumbled over the word. "At least, that's what it was like with Souta's uncle, the civilian one who had the heart-attack. I offered to help then, because I knew that it was only a matter of time before..." she trailed off. They all knew what she was about to say, but likewise understood why she couldn't quite bring herself to say it out loud yet.

Hikari shook her head, and poured the three of them more tea.

"Well shit," she said baldly.

Masaru snorted, and then looked mildly horrified with himself.

Natsuko though, just smiled faintly.

"Hikari, that response was just so... so... you," she said.

Hikari blushed slightly but none of them were really in the mood for joking and teasing.

The waitress popped back in then, and noticed that the three of them were looking considerably more miserable than they had when she had left them.

"...was the tea that bad?" she asked. "What happened, somebody die?"

Hikari outright gaped at her, whilst Masaru stiffened.

Natsuko, on the other hand, straightened her spin, and glared. Hikari caught her sister's expression out the corner of her eye, and was startled, until she recognised the tone that Natsuko was speaking with. It was the same tone Natsuko employed on clanspeople who stepped out of line, or who thought that just because Natsuko was sweet, and smiled all the time, and was a civilian born from a line of civilians that they could walk all over her. Those clanspeople were quickly informed of something that Hikari had known for a long time. Natsuko might be sweet most of the time, but she was still a Sorayama.

And Sorayamas knew how to stand up for themselves.

"You are new here, yes," Natsuko stated.

Thinking that Natsuko had asked her a question, the waitress nodded, paling.

"Have you not been told the protocol with serving people in the private rooms here?" Natsuko demanded.

"P-protocol?" the poor waitress stammered.

Natsuko's glare lessened slightly. "Ah. Well there are a few things then that need to be explained to you, and luckily for you, I'm not going to ask that you be fired for acting foolishly. This time." The waitress turned dead white. "This time," Natsuko continued, "I'm going to blame your unacceptable behaviour on inadequate training. The next person might not be so kind."

The waitress was shaking now. "I-I-I'm so sorry! I didn't know there was special protocol for the private rooms! Please, what did I do?"

Natsuko carefully wiped her eyes with Masaru's handkerchief and then muttered a small genjutsu that hid the worst of the puffiness around her eyes, though not the fact that she had recently been crying. Hikari's eyebrows raised slightly, but otherwise she didn't comment. If her sister wished to employ chakra techniques to put on the best face for clan matters, it was none of her business.

"If you would please, go get your manager, and then return. I will then explain things to the both of you." Natsuko then smiled, but instead of relaxing, the waitress stiffened. Hikari didn't half blame her. Natsuko's sudden switch to her habitual sweet expressions was slightly jarring. "Don't worry," she said kindly, "I'll make sure that you don't make this mistake again. Now, please get me Hiroto. We need to have a little discussion."

The waitress scuttled out of the room so quickly that she nearly fell over.

Masaru snorted. "Well, have fun with that one, Sis. I'm going to... go back and talk to Sensei. I need to talk to him about taking some compassionate leave."

Natsuko nodded. "Take Hikari with you and see her home first. Sorry 'Kari," she said, using an old nickname that Hikari hadn't heard in years. "But this just became clan business."

Hikari rolled her eyes. "Sure, you just don't want me to witness you tearing strips off of one of your clansmen."

Natsuko smiled crookedly. "That too."

Hikari's expression dropped a little. "Will you be alright?" she asked, placing her hand on her sister's shoulder and squeezing gently.

Natsuko sighed. "I'll manage."

Hikari decided to take that at face value. "Alright," was all she said in reply.

Masaru silently passed Hikari her crutch and gave her a hand up, and then a few minutes later, they were back home.

Before Masaru could dash off, Hikari engulfed him in a hug.

"Hang in there," was all she said.

Masaru hugged her back. "I will if you will," he replied.

They released one another, and Hikari thought that Masaru would have dashed off straight away, but he paused, looking at her, considering.

"What?" Hikari demanded.

"Did you want me to pass a message to Gai?" was all he asked.

Hikari bit her lip. Did she?

She remembered how it had felt to be held in his arms, and was taken aback at her sudden yearning to be feeling that safe again.

Still, it made sense, she supposed. Seeking physical comfort when there

"Yeah. And if you could, ask him to pass the word around that I'm going to be cancelling appointments for the next... well. For the moment, anyway. I'll make it up to people once everything is..." she trailed off.

Masaru nodded. He got it. "Yeah. I'll tell Keiko and Yuki to pass it on too. Between the two of them, I bet they know half of Konoha, so they'll be able to make sure that the message stays mostly intact."

"Thanks, Masaru. I'm going to..." she jerked her head in the direction of the front door. Masaru nodded, and the two of them parted ways.

Once inside, Hikari looked around at the familiar, albeit slightly shabby surrounds. The floor could do with a bit of a scrub, she thought distantly. The curtains too had become a little dingy. The downside of being a cleaner was that one never felt like cleaning one's own living space, because it was a little too much like being at work.

Hikari regretted that a little now.

"Who's there?" she heard her mother call.

Hikari almost hesitated, but she knew that even now, (especially now) she would never keep her mother waiting.

"Kaa-san. I'm here," Hikari said.

"Come here," her mother said. "I want to tell you something."

Hikari stumbled over, wondering if she would wish that she had delayed.

She entered her mother's room, and her first thought was that her mother didn't look that bad.

She looked like she had been suffering from a long-term illness, of course, but Hikari was sure she had seen her looking worse than this. A small part of Hikari whispered that maybe the doctor and Natsuko were wrong, but Hikari squashed it. Especially when she saw her mother's eyes. Kaa-san looked exhausted.

Hikari didn't ask how her mother was feeling. The normal social forms felt inadequate here, where they both knew that Akira had progressed from "dying" to "unlikely to last out the week".

"So your sister told you," was all Akira said.

Hikari's face, still stained by her earlier tears, crumpled, but she did her best to remain composed.

"Yes," she said. She paused, and then managed, "I'm really going to miss you, Kaa-san."

Akira smiled weakly. "I'll miss you too. But don't worry. I'll be waiting for you, and your siblings, and my adorable grandchildren. So when it's your time, you won't have to fear it."

Hikari smiled through her tears. "Of course not," was all she said. "But I'll still miss you. I'll tell my children about you, so that when they meet you, they'll know you."

Akira's smile brightened. "So you've decided then?"

Hikari smirked. "If Gai thinks he's getting rid of me, he's got another think coming." She shrugged. "I can't do better than him. He's a good man, and he loves me. I think I love him back. He'll make me happy, and I can be what he needs me to be."

Akira nodded. "I'm glad. It won't be easy-"

Hikari snorted. "Easy? He's a jounin. By definition he has post-traumatic stress disorder and strange habits designed to blow off steam. When we share a bed I'm going to have to be careful when waking him up from nightmares, and there will be things I can never understand about him, because I've never had to kill anyone. I've also never had to trust anyone to the extent that he must. He's a shinobi. I know this." Hikari smiled, but her eyes were weary. "Don't worry Kaa-san. I know what I'm getting myself into. We're in love. It'll have to be enough."

Akira positively beamed. "I'm so proud of you Hikari. I'm pleased that you'll be able to support yourself when I'm gone. And I'm so happy that you found Gai. He seems like a thoroughly decent man, despite being a shinobi."

Hikari sat on the futon and hugged her mother, trying to ignore the sharp feeling of her mother's bones and how her mother's hug was barely a fraction of the strength that it used to be.

"I love you, Kaa-san."

"I love you too, Hikari. Be strong, my beautiful girl. Everything will be alright," Akira said.

Hikari forced herself to smile. "Of course. You'll be watching, after all."

It was only half an hour later that Gai found Hikari sitting on the back step, sniffling.

He didn't ask her if she was alright. He just enfolded her in his embrace.

Hikari snuggled into the warmth of his body, ignoring the fact that he obviously had failed to shower since his most recent training session. Right now, she just needed to be held.

Gai obliged.

The two of them sat together on the back step for a good hour, before Hikari spoke up.

"She has less than a week."

Gai's grip on her tightened. "I know. Your brother said. I'm sorry to hear it. Your mother is..." he paused, trying to find the right words, but Hikari understood where he was going from his tone of reverence.

"Yeah, I know. I'm going to miss her badly," she said. "But at least this way she'll be out of pain."

She looked up to meet Gai's eyes, and was shocked by the depth of pain in them.

"I would rather die in battle than slowly," he said, baldly and horrendously bluntly.

Some might have been offended by that bluntness. Hikari though, understood what he meant.

"Yeah. But you'd better not for many years yet. You'll make me cry," she replied.

Gai straightened. "I Promise That I Will Not Make Hikari Cry!" he exclaimed, "Or Else I Shall Allow Masaru Twenty Free Shots At Me!" Hikari snickered, slightly wetly. Gai sobered. "I'll do my best," he said more seriously. "I can't really promise..."

Hikari shushed him, placing a finger on his lips. "I know. I'll take what I can get. I know you have a dangerous occupation. I don't care. If Kaa-san taught me anything, it was to grasp happiness whilst I can, even knowing that the future might be bleak."

Gai practically sparkled at that, but his eyes were sad. "Your mother is a good person. I barely know her, but I know the world will be a less wonderful place when she is gone."

Hikari cried then, and Gai held her. They didn't speak much more for the rest of that night.

The next day, Hikari went to leave for work, when she saw that the garden had undergone a significant change overnight.

"Kaa-san! You have to see this!"

In the end, Masaru, who had not quite yet left for his ninja training, had carried their mother out to see the incredible sight. The garden, which had previously been looking a little tired, had undergone an incredible transformation.

When Akira saw it, she clapped her hands and laughed.

Everywhere, there were flowers. Orange ones. Blue ones. Red ones. Purple ones. Yellow ones. All kinds, both common and rare, planted overnight, with little rhyme or reason to the arrangement, and all colours mixed together in a strange motley of petals that turned the garden into a gorgeous,albeit disorganised riot of flora.

Hikari knew that this was Gai making good on his promise. His timing couldn't have been better.

She looked at the delighted smile on her mother's face, and quietly fell even further in love with the man than she had been before.

Three days later, Hikari went to check on her mother, and found that she had stopped breathing at some point during the night.

Despite that, she looked peaceful.

Hikari swallowed back her tears, stepped outside, and asked a passing genin to run a message to the local shrine.

She then went back inside.

On Akira's bedside table, was a note.

Hikari later read it to Natsuko and Masaru.

"I leave this note out every night, and hide it every morning that I live, because I want to make sure that I get my last words right. If you've found this note, then I'm sorry, but we all knew it was coming." Hikari sniffled, but smiled through her tears, knowing that Natsuko and Masaru would soon be doing the same.

"I love you all. See you on the other side."


	14. The Obvious Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hikari Explains Something to Tenten (and everyone else, should they care to pay attention).

Chapter 14: The Obvious Conclusion

A few months after her mother's death, Hikari realised that she had fallen in love.

Well, she had had an inkling of it before then.

The fact that Gai tended to feature in happy moments that she did her best to remind herself of on sad days was a fair indication. The fact that she found herself wishing she could spend more and more time in his presence was another.

One day, Natsuko asked her straight-out how long Hikari had been in love with Gai, and Hikari found that she didn't have an answer. She just knew instinctively that Natsuko was right on the money with the way she had phrased it.

Huh. Sometimes it was annoying having elder siblings, especially when they sometimes knew you better than you knew yourself.

Still. Before the day that Hikari officially actually accepted that she had fallen for Gai, she had been dealing with a combination of denial and grief that distracted her from acknowledging things like the fact that she had decided who she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

So maybe it wasn't such a surprise that Natsuko had figured it out first.

"When are you going to tell him?" Natsuko asked her, taking a sip from her tea as they watched Chori and Chori play a hand-clapping game that Hikari remembered Natsuko teaching her when they were about the same age.

Hikari sipped her own tea, and shrugged. "No idea." She pondered. "Do you think I should tell him soon?"

Natsuko smiled. "Why not? I hardly think you need to worry about his reaction. After all, he's been completely gone on you for ages. You shouldn't keep the poor man waiting for too long."

Hikari blushed a little. "Yes." Gai had never even attempted to hide his feelings from her. He hadn't come right out and said anything, but when it came to being obvious, Gai was somewhat of an expert.

Though that, Hikari mused, tended to give him the perfect alibi for when he did want to conceal something. People got into the habit of taking Gai at face value, and then would be shocked when he would occasionally say or do something that made them realise that he wasn't all Youth! and green spandex.

Not to say that Gai didn't love his silly training outfits and shouting about things that made life worthwhile, but Hikari was onto him now. He tended to increase his volume drastically whenever he was in the presence of someone he thought needed cheering up, distraction, or just generally took life too seriously for Gai's tastes. Especially when that person was his Eternal Rival Kakashi, who Hikari was coming to realise tended to fit all three of those categories, despite his reputation for being a laconic oddball.

Though even though he tended to pretend to ignore Gai when he was being super exuberant in public, Hikari had seen him subtly defend Gai when a well-moneyed diplomat from Wind had had the temerity to sniff in Gai's general direction.

Well, she considered, either defending Gai or inflicting him on the Wind diplomat for his own amusement. The diplomat had not exactly been a nice person- Hikari had been contracted to clean his rooms for him (which was why she had witnessed the altercation), and not only had the diplomat been nearly breathtakingly rude towards herself, she had spotted bruises on the diplomat's civilian secretary that looked suspiciously similar in pattern to the rings on the diplomat's fingers. Gai hadn't broken diplomat's hand when Kakashi had introduced them, but Hikari was pretty sure it had been a near thing. Gai of course had energetically apologised, complete with crocodile tears, and the diplomat had been thoroughly unnerved. Especially when Gai mentioned in passing that Hikari was his Most Beautiful Bougainvillea And Such a Virtuous and Hard Worker, Who Deserved All Praises Didn't She.

Come to think of it, in retrospect maybe Kakashi had been doing her a favour, since the diplomat had been on his best behaviour around Hikari after that, with not a single snipe.

Huh. She should really pay more attention. Sometimes she temporarily forgot that ninja had a hard time being upfront about things. Even Gai sometimes... he never told her when he was injured. She had figured it out after a while, and now knew the signs, but if she didn't pay attention, he'd carry on like things were normal...

At least until he popped a stitch and started bleeding through his bandages or something. The first time that had happened, Hikari had told him off like he was Masaru, without even thinking about it, and had marched him to the nearest med-nin.

Gai had been unusually meek whilst she bossed him around. When the med-nin teased him about it, Gai had been uncharacteristically silent on the topic of the teasing, and had instead after a significant pause burst out into a nonsensical babble about how Such A Small Injury Would Not Diminish His Youth!

Later, Hikari had asked him about it.

"I'd forgotten how nice it is to have someone genuinely worried about me," he admitted. "It's not that my comrades don't care, it's just..."

"They take it for granted that you'll survive?" Hikari's tone was questioning, but really, she knew the answer. Konoha's Beautiful Green Beast

He shrugged in reply. "They've seen me in worse shape, and they themselves get injured all the time, so we're all a bit blasé about the whole thing. So long as there's nothing career-ending going on, it tends to get politely ignored."

Hikari bit her lip. "I can't promise I'll stop worrying..." she started to say, but he placed a finger on her lips, interrupting her.

"I like it. That you worry, I mean," he said so softly that she almost doubted that she'd heard him. So softly that she was sure most of his comrades would have assumed that they were hallucinating.

"It makes me feel like I need to try and get home more intact, not just because otherwise my 'combat efficiency would be compromised'," he sounded as though he was quoting someone, and Hikari suspected she would not care for whoever that might have been, "but because I don't want to make you sad."

Hikari hadn't really known what to say, so instead she had just carefully hugged him, avoiding the stitched slash on his side.

From the way Gai had hugged her back, like he was worried she would run away if he let go, Hikari thought that she had chosen the right response.

…...

Really, she thought, perhaps she should have been less surprised by Gai's reaction to her eventual declaration.

"I know," he said, beaming incandescently. "I Too Love You Hikari, for You are My Most Beauteous Bougainvillea and You are Strong and Sassy and Clever and..."

It was about this point that Hikari silenced him with a kiss, for she was blushing incandescently.

"You could have told me," she accused him.

Gai just beamed at her. "Ah, but I did not wish to Risk Scaring You Off if your feelings were Less Youthful than Mine!"

Hikari rolled her eyes. "Since when have you ever managed to properly scare me, Gai?" she retorted.

Gai, typically, was unphased by her tone, and responded by hauling her away for some Youthfully Flavoured Icecream to Celebrate their Acknowledged Feelings, having hefted her onto his back, cleaning-supplies, crutch and all.

As she rode on Gai's back down one of the busier streets of Konoha, shrieking with laughter, Hikari thought they probably looked a bit silly, but she didn't care.

….

A few years later, surprising exactly none who knew them, Hikari and Gai were still together.

By civilian standards they were overly discreet, and Hikari's Aunt Noriko had been horrified that they had no intentions of getting officially married in front of the shrine, but they were content with what they had.

Masaru had originally been somewhat offended by Gai not making it official with his sister, but Souta had quietly had a word in his ear about just how many enemies Gai had made over the years. Hikari hadn't heard a word from Masaru about the matter since, and she had taken care to thank her brother-in-law. She and Gai had agreed to marry once Gai had retired, on the perhaps shaky premise that at that point he would be considered less of a threat, and so it was unlikely that anyone would go after his loved ones.

Privately, Hikari was pretty sure that if Gai survived long enough to retire, he'd be either more crippled than she, or he'd be utterly terrifying to anyone who crossed him. But she refused to worry about such distant things that might never come to be. She knew that each and any one of his missions might be his last, and so was determined to enjoy as much time with him as possible.

That was after all, the point underlying Gai's constant speeches about the Springtime of Youth. Everyone knew that the seasons would change, and that nothing fresh and green could stay that way forever.

But that didn't mean that they couldn't spend the time that it lasted enjoying it to the fullest.

Hikari was sitting down, tending what she still thought of as her mother's garden, when she heard a delighted shout.

She grinned. Looks like Gai had found the D-rank she had put out for him. She hoped he liked the surprise.

Carefully, she levered herself off the ground with her crutch, ignoring the grass- and mud-stains on her baggy pants.

"Hello all," she said, looking over the four of them. Team Gai, as they were called, had been together for about a month so far. She had met Rock Lee when he came to meet Gai for training, and she had fed him her curry a few times. The other two, Hyuuga Neji and TenTen she had yet to meet, but Gai had spoken of them so often that she felt like she almost knew them.

She was interested to note that Neji had instantly spotted her prosthetic leg, as he was currently examining her for signs that she was a kunoichi whose career had been cut short. She knew what that looked like- amputees weren't exactly uncommon in a ninja village, but civilian ones were a significant minority. After a few moments, he came to the correct conclusion, (or perhaps Hiashi was still smarting from her revenge and had told him about the upstart civilian cleaning lady) and sneered.

Hikari sighed inwardly. She didn't envy Gai having to put up with a student with that attitude.

TenTen on the other hand seemed to be eager to please, and was smiling professionally at her. Hikari favoured her with a smile back. Gai had expounded on TenTen's aim with a great deal of enthusiasm, even for him. Hikari, looking at the team, had a feeling that more important than her aim, would be TenTen's ability to keep the peace between her stand-offish team-mate and her overly-exuberant ones.

And speaking of, it appeared that Lee had decided to adopt the green spandex after all. Hikari wondered if she should be worried that the boy was hero-worshipping Gai so devotedly, but then, she knew that Gai wouldn't take advantage of it, except to push the kid to train even harder.

And Lee would need that training, she knew, if he was going to survive on only taijutsu.

Small wonder he thought Gai had hung the moon and stars, really, she thought. Not only was Gai one of the best taijutsu specialists that Konoha had ever produced, but he really and sincerely believed that Lee could be a great shinobi if he tried hard enough.

Hikari wasn't sure she saw it quite yet, but then, as she had told Lee upfront, one should never underestimate what a lot of hard work could accomplish. After all, if Hikari had had a nindo, it would be that one's perceived limitations existed to be surpassed.

She supposed Gai's confidence in Lee might be partly her fault really, since it had been she that he had first applied the "Genius of Hard Work" label to. She sincerely hoped that Gai was right about Lee's potential, because otherwise the two of them were going to be devastated.

Gai beamed brilliantly at her, and came forward to embrace her.

Hikari hugged him back, and saw that Neji was looking somewhat stunned, and TenTen's jaw had dropped.

Silly children, thinking they knew much at all about their sensei after a month. She had known Gai for more than seven years now, and she was still surprised by him at times.

She was extra amused to see that Lee was sitting back enjoying the gob-smacked expressions on his team-mates' faces.

Gai opened his mouth to introduce her, but Hikari stepped in first. She would rather make her own first impression.

"You must be the cute little students Gai has been telling me all about," she said with a grin. "I'm Sorayama Hikari."

There was a significant pause. Lee just grinned and waved at her, whilst his team-mates were apparently still too shell-shocked by the concept that their sensei might have a love-life to introduce themselves.

Gai jumped in then and introduced his students at length, to Lee's delight and TenTen and Neji's visible dismay.

Inwardly, Hikari shook her head. Rookies. They had a long way to go. Next time, though, she was sure that they were going to remember to react fast enough to stem Gai's babble, if the mortified expressions were anything to go by.

Eventually she took pity on them, and redirected Gai's attention to the fact that her garden needed weeding.

With his typical overly-dramatic flair, Gai proceeded to direct his students to remove every weed from his 'Beautiful Bougainvillea's Bower Within The Next Hour, or Else We Shall Run Five Laps of Konoha, Backwards!"

That was more than enough to get his team moving.

Hikari leaned on her crutch, ostensibly supervising, but mostly watching for the entertainment value. It was also nice not to be the one doing the work for a change, so she stood, enjoying the sun, and the sounds of Gai and Lee winding each other up.

"Yosh! My Youthful Little Genin Blossoming in Their Springtime of Youth Will Use Their Youth To Make Your Garden Bloom With the Same Springtime Youthfulness!" Gai exclaimed, the twinkle in his eye informing Hikari that he was teasing his team.

Hikari laughed. She wondered when the kids would catch on.

Though maybe Lee already had an idea. He was joining in shamelessly already.

"Sorayama-san?" Hikari was startled out of her reverie by the soft voice of TenTen. She noted that the others were out of earshot, though if the veins on the sides of his eyes were any indication, Neji was watching with his Byakugan.

Ah, thought Hikari. Intel-gathering. How adorable.

"You're going to ask me why I'm with him," she said, cutting to the chase. Hikari didn't really have the patience for the small-talk that TenTen would have started with, let alone the clumsy beginner interrogation tactics. For some reason, most ninja forgot that civilians often went out in search of delicate information too, and since they generally couldn't beat their informants until they squealed, civilians tended to be overall better at the subtleties.

TenTen, obviously not having expected Hikari's bluntness, gaped.

Hikari smirked. "Don't worry, you're hardly the first to ask, let alone wonder. I know a lot of people think that he's a bit much, especially when he gets over-enthusiastic."

TenTen looked as though she was barely restraining herself from nodding emphatically.

Hikari suppressed a sigh.

"A lot of people are put off by his energy, and think that he's crazy. Some just think he's crazy because he's with a crippled civilian cleaning-lady," Hikari admitted.

TenTen nodded, her awkard expression suggesting that Hikari's words weren't quite the ones that she herself would have picked out.

Hikari ignored that, and continued.

"But the thing is, when I explain why I'm with him, everyone agrees that it's pretty obvious in retrospect."

She had TenTen's undivided attention. Hikari nearly made a joke about stamina, but decided that her audience was a smidge too young to appreciate the humour, and decided to go for the blunt truth.

It wasn't like Hikari was one to shy away from the blunt truth in any case.

"You see that passion, that dedication he has?" she asked rhetorically, looking over at her lover, who was gesticulating wildly as he told Lee off for pulling out a flower instead of a weed.

Hikari caught Gai's eye, and smiled.

He beamed, and gave her a thumbs up.

Hikari turned back to TenTen, and knew her tone was smug.

"Now imagine that that's all for you."


End file.
